|No 1990's Super Bowl is complete
without multiple appearances from Pepsi, tugging along
Cindy Crawford, crazy skits, and immature slams at Coke.
In 1994 they became one of the only companies in history
to buy an oddly-shaped 45-second spot in the Bowl (two of
them in fact), depicting a Pepsi Research Facility headed
First they stuck Crawford into a Pepsi Isolation Chamber for one month, upon which time she emerges looking like....well, I won't spoil it. Next they fill the Super Bowl Monkey Quota by feeding one chimp Pepsi and the other Coke. The Coke chimp experiences accelerated intelligence, while the Pepsi chimp runs away and becomes a womanizing d-bag. ....Wait a minute, which one were we supposed to root for again?
|They also ran this one, drumming up early hype for Woodstock '94. It was a Boomer's world at this point; anyone younger or older would have to take all the hippie references and Kennedy worship and bear with it until these people retired. Even though the 25-year-anniversary Woodstock was mostly for fortysomethings, a lot of people thought the festival had been successfully revived. That belief lasted until Woodstock '99, which was more of a bloody battle zone than a music concert, and killed the festival for good.
|Chevy Chase's career was in a downward spiral at this point, which was understandable, because it's Chevy Chase. Everyone knew by now how hard the man was to work with and how huge his ego was, two things that still have not changed about him. Though Chevy seems to be aware of the mess he's made by starring in this self-deprecating ad, that wasn't what was going on in his head. "They pay me to eat chips! I OWN this town!"
|MJ and Larry Bird, now joined by Charles Barkley, appeared in this sequel to the famous "Nothin' but Net" ad from one year prior. I liked it a lot; I think it continued the concept effectively. And they smartly did not continue with a third. Once you see them in space, the shark has jumped.
|In 1992 Nike debuted "Hare Jordan" starring Bugs Bunny, and in '93 there was a sequel with Marvin the Martian. I'll always wonder if we would have gotten a trilogy if Mike hadn't "quit" to pursue a baseball career that October. Are there abandoned storyboards somewhere in the Nike basement; maybe even an animatic? Nike did this instead.
|Missing from the 1994 batch is a Lays
ad where some kid kept trading seats with the people
below him by betting they couldn't eat just one chip.
Along the way he pointlessly meets Dan Quayle, gets down
to the front row and, eventually, beyond by betting his
chips on one of the football players. Then he gets in the
game, and it's ridiculous, but it's not there and I want
to know why. Maybe it's because this ad bled into the
halftime show, which Lay's was sponsoring, but there was
an obvious chopping point for future airings they could
have stopped it at.
Halftime was Travis Tritt. I had no idea who that was. I still have no idea who that was.
|The longest single ad of Super Bowl
XXVIII came in at one minute and thirty seconds, from
Alamo Rent-A-Car....and it really didn't need all that
space. The concept is just looney: since Alamo didn't
charge per mile, a family decides to use their Alamo
rented car to drive on every single inch of road in the
entire country. This takes them over thirty years. They
actually have children while driving and "home"
school them in the backseat. They finally cover every
roadway by 2025, and arrive as old people back at the
now-robot-staffed building only to find out Alamo now has
worldwide services, so off they go again, presumably to
die behind the wheel.
There, I saved you ninety seconds of life. Don't waste them.
|There's an interesting story behind this ad. Notice that it shows footage from the very Super Bowl it aired during. Reebok had cameras near the field and they shot a lot of the game's first half, then raced to a trailer outside the stadium and quickly found the most interesting footage, cut it together into 30 seconds and made it to the transmitter with mere minutes to spare. Hopefully they had a backup ready in case this plan went awry.