THEY GOT GAME....sorta

It's generally a good thing that video games are now a mainstream taste, because normally American culture forbids everything imaginative and slots it all as for kids. But it's also a bad thing. It's a bad thing because Mainstream People are almost always stupid. The things that determine what they buy and watch are idiotic. And also, some of them just don't plain even know what they're doing.
If Hollywood is a mirror of the current state, then this is really sad. Of the 3 people who watch ABC's comedy sitcom "According to Jim," my stepdad is one of them. I was walking through the living room one night and saw Jim pecking away on a Game Boy. His son came in and said, "Dad, have you fixed my game thing yet?" Jim replies, "No, not yet. These things are complicated to fix. Check back with me next week, or month, or so." His son walks away, and the ruse having worked, he gets back to his game, now intently in it. Cue laugh track.
But there was one thing wrong with what Jim was doing: his Game Boy had no game cartridge in it. What was he playing, Reflection of the Kitchen VII? Maybe he was. I'm also told a girl from an early Jackie Chan movie could do the same; play a game with no cartridge in there. But I always thought that was a zen thing.
Let's get a more interesting example. This photo ran in the October Reader's Digest; it shows a father and his son happily engrossed in a game. For you see, now parents love games too. But now let's dissect the picture.

First off, what are they holding? Controllers. By judging the shape and color, we can see they're Nintendo 64 controllers. Okay, so they're playing N64? Fair, wait, look how they're holding this. Both the man and the boy are using the Control Pad(that's the cross-looking thingy, you undereducated peon), and not the stick. How many games for the N64 used the Pad and not the stick to control your guy? Not many. These two are either playing Wetrix or Pokemon Stadium. And wow, they're blown away!

Another thing. What's with that TV? The only TV I've ever seen that looked like that was a superflat plasma model. And this one is PORTABLE. That had to cost them $12000. No, wait, it's not a TV at all! IT'S....A PICTURE FRAME! Eh. Maybe they're drunk.

So, Joe Average, when the time comes for you to buy a game system, remember three things:
1)The side of the controller thingy that doesn't have a cord sticking out of it is the side you use.
2)If you want to save money, don't buy a game, because you can apparently get amused by it without one. The neato buttons on the thing you hold in your hand is fun enough. In fact, it's funner than talking on a cell phone while eating pizza and reading the newspaper, while driving 80 miles per hour. Which can definately not kill you.
3)Don't touch anything from Microsoft. Thank you.
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