who would win? link vs...   final page! (for now)

From: Me LINK VS. MICHAEL JACKSON Link pulls out his sword. This oughta be a piece of cake, he thinks to himself. "OH-NO!" says Michael Jackson. "MY WATER JUST BROKE!" "Your what??" says Link. Does that mean you're pregnant?" "It cost about ten million dollars, but I managed to be with child! NOW GET ME TO A HOSPITAL! OOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!" "Nuts," says Link. "I have a moral code not to harm pregnant wom--I mean, people. So much for the battle." There's no time for a hospital, so Link delivers the baby. It's a brand-spankin' new baby boy!!! "I'M SO HAPPY!!!" says Michael Jackson. "No, wait. This isn't a boy. Wait a minute, what gender IS this??? It's got a huge snout and-- AAAAAHHH! IT'S A PIG!!!" "A PIG???" yells Michael. "THEY SAID THEY WOULDN'T MAKE ANY MISTAKES! I'M NOT TIPPING THEM! Oh, no, wait, I already did. Shoot." "There are MORE pigs in here," says Link. He pulls out a litter of seven little hoglings. "Wow! Well, I don't care. The important thing is, they're MY children," says Michael Jackson. "Hey, whay're they doing?" The pigs bare their fangs at Link. They're huge! "Uh-oh," says Michael. "I think they need milk." "BUT I'M NOT THEIR MOTHER!!!" "Well, it couldn't be ME. So they think it must be you." "NO! N-NO! GET AWAY! DON'T! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA---" WINNER: PIGS From: Me LINK VS. HANNIBAL LECTER Narrated by: Hannibal Lecter Ah, that Link was a good kid. Yes, very good. Burp. I ate him with some fava beans. Very good. WINNER: LINK(because the gas Hannibal got later killed him)

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