Fat chance! You'll only get one of those every five years, and if you don't like the one you get, tough noogies. Nintendo tries to stall by simply putting Mario in everything and hoping you'll accept DDR and NBA titles as legitimate games of his. But they'll only truly roll out gaming's most iconic character to launch a new system. As long as that system isn't a handheld.

At least Mario transitioned to the modern depth-ridden gaming age easier than Sonic did. But if the more recent 3-D editions haven't sated you, and only a brand-new two-dimensional, dedicated action platformer will satisfy...dream on. Technology doesn't move down. HOWEVER...the same rapid evolutionary process that shoved Super Mario World to the shelf has given birth to lightning-fast, sophisticated computers that can easily download the game from large servers, as well as emulators that can replicate the game as it's supposed to play, and hacking programs that allow any ordinary bored person to cut-and-paste and rearrange said game.

You know what this means? There isn't an official sequel to Super Mario World, but unofficially, there are over a hundred.

I had never truly been given the motive to fiddle with any of these until last week when I bought a cheap Dreamcast that was manufactured before December 2000. Why would I want to buy a Dreamcast made before that date (and in 2005 no less)? Because due to yet another instance of Sega's classic console blundering, Dreamcasts made up to that point will accept a regular, easily burned CD off the computer as a game. We're talkin' Piracy Heaven here--roms are nice, but the biggest downer for me is that the sharp computer screen just doesn't have the same feeling a simple cathode-ray tube TV has. That sit-down-and-casually-play feeling. Having an actual controller to play the game WITH also helps, and the Dreamcast has a nice controller! I bought a Dreamcast to play roms on the TV, and though it doesn't do it perfectly, it's good enough. Of course, then I got the idea to stuff a disc with nothing but Mario hacks, and then I REALLY had a blast. It feels like the authentic Super NES, and then you see a Piranha Plant pop out of a Yoshi fruit and spit a Banzai Bill at you. It looks so wrong, but it feels so right....

Every game has to mandatorily start with the exposition box explaining what's going on. There, the hacker can either keep the "This is Dinosaur Land" speech, or insert his own back story. Many of them end up choosing the latter.

About that last one.....anyone who knows the Mario Universe also knows the relationship between Mario and Peach is purposely ambiguous. It may sound like your typical hero-and-princess fall-in-love setup, but whether they're lovers or mere friends is a question never answered. Mario may get a kiss on the nose every so often, but it proves nothing. Peach invited Mario to the castle in Mario 64 because she wanted him to eat a cake...That doesn't sound like a hot date to me.
Anyway, that one begins the game "Mario's Chance." In-continuity or not, does Mario have what it takes to be Mr. Toadstool? Um.....DUH, he's only rescued her a billion times by now. If that doesn't prove he's worthy to Her Peachiness, then what will?

You start the game not at Yoshi's House, but "Mario's Pad." And what a pad it is. I had no idea Mario was this poor...he had to make it out of discarded, already-hit bricks. Hey, waiiit a minute...unbreakable bricks....is there a way to get out of here? THERE ISN'T!! HE'S GONNA DIE!! And I just bet it's supposed to be the first one of Peach's "tests." She's harsh. Reset....

You can either go to "Burnt Plains 1" or "Burnt Plains 2," it doesn't really matter since both contain impossible tasks wherein you die in five seconds. BP2's obstacle is to avoid a Koopa shell while running under a low bridge that provides no room to jump whatsoever. Peach is going to die an old maid, but it's her fault.

"Chaos Complexx" engrossed me so much, I actually played it to the second world. That's not because the game is good, it's because the game is so bad that it's good. The William Hung-esque narrator is a hoot and so is his insane idea of level design, with many enemies just floating in midair and power-ups appearing either 20 at a time or inside unbreakable walls.

In retrospect, I wouldn't be surprised if I found out the maker of this game was actually an experienced hacker who spoke perfect English. (The guy you're going to meet on the second page confirmed I was right.)

"Super Mario-Wario World" is even more messed up than Hung's game. It was the one with the "iggwig" explanation, and there are only six levels, all of which are open on the map.
The map graphics are glitched up, and the weird-colored baby Yoshi is supposed to be a building, "Yo%hi'# Palace."

I could say something but the pictures do enough talking. Okay, let's move on, folks.....

"Super Dense World," programmed by the Great Richardo, is...interesting, to say the least. There's no Yoshi in it because he left to kill Superman.

At least he let us know where he'd be.

In this pulse-pounding level, you must swim through this channel while avoiding skulls, Cheep-Cheeps, fireballs, and miniature versions of Mario and Luigi from a Game Boy title. I worry that Nintendo Japan could get ahold of this one. It's not that they'd say "What a horrid ripoff." They'd say, "THIS...IS SO...INNOVATIVE! SO...DIFFERENT! WE MUST MAKE ONE JUST LIKE IT FOR DS!!" After all, this isn't very far off from "Electroplankton."