Sources: eBay, Gamesniped.com

The following video-game-related items are so rare, you probably haven't heard of any of them. They are all real, there is only a handful in the world of each, and you can NEVER HAVE THEM, because of the wallet-stopping combination of being both expensive AND totally useless. You can look, though. But you can't ever touch. Especially the cookie.

YOSHI'S STORY: INTERNATIONAL VERSION

Very rare oddity meant for stores to show off the game before it came out

An NTSC release of the Japanese ROM (all the text in the game is in Japanese, but it only plays on North American N64s)

eBay Price: $3000

$3000. For Yoshi's Story.

METROID PRIME 2: ECHOES BRAND COOKIE

Was part of the press kit for Metroid Prime 2: Echoes

Is a real cookie, not a plastic replica or anything

Flavor: Unknown

eBay Price: $129.99

NGAGE RETAIL DISPLAY KIOSK

Want to own the original retail display for a gaming system? Yeeeah! Do you want the one for N-Gage? ............

I'll get back to you.

eBay Price: $300

SUPER MARIO ADVANCE MINT IN-BOX

And when they say in box, they mean so in the box that it never even left the cardboard it was shipped in. There are six untouched copies of Super Mario Advance, circa 2001, inside.

Or are there? If you want to keep it perfect, you'll never know if it's GBA launch games or if you were swindled into buying a box of rocks.

Probably made an excellent conversation piece for the collector who purchased it. "And this is my rare, prized, unopened collector's cardboard box."
"Oooooh, it's so brown!"

eBay Price: $187.51

CHRONO CROSS DESK CLOCK

Was part of the Japanese press kit for Chrono Cross

I want it, I'm sorry.

eBay Price: $50.99

NINTENDO CORPORATE BINDER FROM 1988

Vintage braggart material meant to entice investors

Only one page revealed during auction

eBay Price: $1000

AUTOGRAPHED AND FRAMED SUPER METROID POSTER

Signed and numbered not by Shigeru Miyamoto, not by Gunpei Yokoi, but by none other than SAMUS ARAN HERSELF

Her sig has probably gone down in value after that whole "Other M" debacle

eBay Price: $443

"DINO PARK TYCOON" FOR 3DO

Listed as a "HOLY GRAIL TITLE" with stars around it

1994 game published by Number Munchers creators MECC, so presumably educational

eBay Price: $750
(just a bit more than the original price of the 3DO)

THAT NINTENDO REMOTE-CONTROL VACUUM CLEANER

Yes, the one previously shown here

Official name was "Chiritori," or "Cherry Dustpan"

Apparently came with stickers to give it a personality

Lick My Decals Off Baby

eBay Price: $651.01

ATARI JAGUAR PORTABLE GAME SYSTEM

Yeah right, I call "shenanigans" on this one

Turns out it IS real, but not from Atari, just a homebrew project

He only made 3

eBay Price: $950
Does not include shipping charge

OFFICIAL NINTENDO GERMAN BEER MUG

Seriously, an officially licensed Mario beer mug.

It's a really him

On a mug for GERMAN BEER

eBay Price: $29.95
This guy got the deal of a lifetime...

UNRELEASED SPANISH VERSION OF WISDOM TREE'S "BIBLE ADVENTURES"

eBay Price: $176

ATARI JAGUAR INTERNET MODEM

Only 2 known in the world

NOT HOMEBREW

REAL PROTOTYPE

Who knows if it actually works...

eBay Price: $2,500

MATTEL POWER GLOVE ADVERTISMENT IN REEL FORM

Presumably only playable on 1990-era TV station equipment

If you can find such equipment, this is about as pure and clean as the Power Glove ad can look

Everything else is just child's play

eBay Price: $75

NINTENDO FUN CLUB RAD RACER 3-D GLASSES

Rad Racer came with flimsy cardboard glasses, these are not those

Those who obeyed the words of Doc Louis got a special offer in Nintendo Fun Club #4 that allowed them to send in their Rad Racer UPCs in exchange for sturdier plastic 3-D glasses

Keep in mind if you ever want to pay this much for Rad Racer glasses: the 3-D in Rad Racer doesn't even work

eBay Price: $174.99

FUN FACTOID: there was an episode of Human Target where some random kid was wearing 3-D glasses for no reason

RARE PROTOTYPE FOR CANCELLED PS1 GAME BASED ON "YOUNGBLOOD"

Not the 1980's Rob Lowe movie, the Rob Liefeld 1990's property

Also included: 25 issues of Youngblood. Barely pictured: the prototype (look under the last comic). Seller claimed you needed a developer's kit to view the game. Sounds legit

This has to be the only way he could sell these comics at all

eBay Price: $799.99
It's been put up twice with no bids (at the same price)

SONY PS1 PROTOTYPE KEYBOARD/MOUSE ADAPTOR

WHERE was this when I was making that lengthy RPG Maker game? I had to select every letter with the control pad

All that's missing is a TV tray and the console/PC gap would have been officially shut by 1998. Shame

eBay Price: $399.99

BATTLETOADS INTERNAL MEDIA BOOK

See more pics here, here and here

Rare in more ways than one

Plus, unlike the game, you can actually finish it

eBay Price: $599.99

THE COOLEST LIGHT GUN EVER

Used by the US military as exercise training, along with a special SNES cart called Multi-purpose Arcade Combat Simulator, or MACS for short

This is an actual modified M16

Imagine Yoshi's Safari with this baby

eBay Price: $227.50

NES M9 DISPLAY CASE

Something Nintendo sent to stores selling the original NES package to entice their customers into purchasing it

You can't play with anything in it, it's all glued down and sealed shut

eBay Price: $3,650

"NINTENDO SUPER STARS" STORE DISPLAY

Any room would look cool with this hanging in it

Except....the seller wouldn't give you the game boxes to go with it; he just put them there as a lame tease

eBay Price: $500

LEGEND OF ZELDA: THE BANANA YELLOW EDITION

It's colored this way because it was a test cart used at Authorized Repair Centers

eBay Price: $0.99, no takers
Okay, maybe you CAN have this one if it shows up again.

UNOPENED MINT-IN-CARDBOARD BOX OF 24 "KIRBY'S ADVENTURE" GAMES

Now this? This is cool

Notice the writing on the box, though. They're in French

Does that make it rarer?

eBay Price: $1200.00

RARE SEGA DREAMCAST GD-ROM BURNER

The Sega Dreamcast used a disc media of their own invention called the GD-ROM, which held 1 GB of information...hence, it stood for "Giga Disc." A GD-ROM holds slightly more than a CD yet only 1/4 as much as a DVD

Whoever bought this evidently didn't know Dreamcasts take burned CDs too, and that most Dreamcast games didn't equal 1GB exactly, meaning they will fit onto a CD

Plus, good luck finding blank GD-Rs, buddy

eBay Price: $268

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLE VARIANT OF THE NES

Are you wondering why you never spotted this at the store and begged for it as an 8-year-old? You probably didn't live in the UK, because only the English got it

Therefore, this is actually a Teenage Mutant HERO Turtles NES Variant

You got the better pack-in with Super Mario Bros/Duck Hunt anyway. Those were not happy Brits on Christmas morning, trying furtively to squeeze between electric water weeds

eBay Price: $500

COMMEMORATIVE GOLD(paint)-PLATED COMMODORE 64

Meant to celebrate the manufacturing of one million units

But if you lose, the devil gets your souuuuuul

eBay Price: 10,000 Euros

FLYER FOR UNRELEASED JAGUAR GAME

"Phear" looks like a Tetrisphere knockoff, if the included image is accurate

It's just as well. "Phear It To Chunks!" isn't the best market slogan

eBay Price: $250

APF IMAGINATION MACHINE

From 1978, one of the rarest systems ever made, due to its high cost turning people off

In addition, to do anything useful with it you had to own equally-as-expensive add-ons, which are even rarer

Probably the only complete set you'll ever see

eBay Price: $999

PLAYSTATION 1 "HAPPY DIET STEPPER" CONTROLLER

Sony was trying the fitness thing well before Nintendo's Wii Fit, but it didn't sell very well. These orange flippers are nearly impossible to find

Comes with three games: "Happy Diet," "Happy Jogging in Hawaii," and "Tonde! Tonde! Diet!"

eBay Price: $549.99

1990 NINTENDO WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS POWER JUMPSUIT

Worn by the employees of the Nintendo World Championships

Put it on and FEEL THE POWER IN YOUR PANTS

Who needs an NWC cartridge? You can't wear that

eBay Price: $999

SUPER MARIO ALL-STARS FOR WII

A 4mb game on a 4.7gig capacity disc (single layer)

The unaltered SNES ROM and nothing more

Comes complete with abridged history booklet and soundtrack CD containing exactly one song from every game in the proper Mario series (8 in all!)

Original retail price for the week and a half it was on sale: $30

eBay Price: $3,565,892,047.53

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