A few years ago, I wrote in the
true tale titled "Art!" that after feeling hosed by the
Gamecube's weak release schedule, I would never buy
another Nintendo console on launch. Back then, I had
every reason to assume the big N's next one was going to
follow all the rules--after all, the company had invented
most of them.
When Nintendo started speaking of coming up with a
brand-new reinvention of a game console, though, I was
even more put off. Three years ago they seemed nothing
short of full-on insane, pushing "connectivity"
and killing their own golden goose Game Boy with a
"third pillar" device that they swore was not
going to replace it. They said simplicity was their new
motto and released bongo controllers, and a Kirby game
where all you did was push the A button. Nintendo was
completely out of touch, and whatever this new console
was going to end up like, I was dreading it.
My opinions started changing once I saw the thing. When
the N64 was released, I figured it was the final
frontier--after the move to 3D, there would be nothing
left. I thought I'd never again feel the anticipation of
an oncoming console that truly promised something I'd
never played before. I'm happy to be wrong.
Nintendo seems less daffy these days--their DS experiment
paid off, and it trampled the PSP in terms of decent
software. They also seem to have accepted the fact that
we consider DS the next Game Boy, and shifted their
development teams to the newer device. And I think
they're onto something by targeting nongamers, now that
they have the ammo to open their minds by putting out
something truly interesting to everyone. The simplicity
philosophy could really work on this kind of console,
where it flopped on the more traditional Cube (and I have
the feeling "connectivity" was just a stalling
ploy so they'd have something to talk about while they
planned the release of better things.) Then when they
moved Zelda to the Wii, I was sold entirely. Who knew
we'd be standing here again after four years, but here we
are. You win again, Nintendo....here's my cash.
This is it....Wii in-box. The interesting observation is
that it's sealed with nothing. You just lift up the flap
and take things out. If you're going to buy a Wii on eBay
and the seller swears he never opened the box, you have
NO WAY of finding out the truth other than fingerprint
I wonder what I'll
do with this box. This is what I ended up doing with the
It's now a stand for my computer monitor.
Wii™ comes with EVERYTHING you see here!
I was one of the
lucky ones to actually nab a reserve. No waiting hours in
the cold for me--I just walked into the mall this
afternoon, showed the clerk my receipts and walked out
lugging this spiffy new console. I guess living in a city
with five Gamestops and three EBs in my vicinity helped
"Hi, I'm here to pick up my Wii."
"Oh, we're sold out of those."
".......Then you are so fired."
"Ha ha! I was kidding! See, it's funny!"
It was only funny by Gamestop clerk standards. While I
was waiting for the guy to come out of the backroom, the
obnoxious television monitor displayed another BDEBGTVQ
(Brain Dead EB Games TV Quiz).
"Which hero of Hyrule will be coming to the Wii this
fall? Is it A: Mario, B: Link, C: Pooka, or D:
The announcer paused for a few seconds to let us think on
"The answer is, B! Link!"
On that note, you might be wondering why I would give
this franchise any more money. I think I can be forgiven
to make an awful consumer choice given the
first-come-first-serve scarcity of new-console reserves.
Smaller game stores may need my support more, but the
franchise that finds trivia like this puzzling was the
first to let me save a Wii.
This is a Gamecube controller, which I did not know was a
necessity to play Gamecube games on the Wii until I'd
already sold my Cube as part of the purchase toward it.
This could actually be my own controller that I just
In its place I'd originally reserved a Classic
controller, but later found out those are only good for
the Virtual Console. Right now, all the good titles on
Virtual Console are owned by me in their original forms.
Plus, I'd kinda need a Wi-Fi adapter first.
I'll have to get Wi-Fi within the next six months if I
want the free Opera browser and the ability to watch
Strong Bad on the tube.
Look at all the manuals. The three gray ones are all the
same, only the second is in French and the third is in
Spanish. Wii Sports is also mixed in with the manuals,
and it's without a proper DVD case. I'll just bet it
shows up sold separately later on with a case included.
Boo to that.
Check out the fine
print on "Quick Setup"....
They're asking us nicely not to resell this machine for
security reasons. I expect this warning to be widely
ignored, though this does bring up the fact that any used
Wii we buy will have the previous owner's junk on it.
Nothing that could be used for identity theft, but think
about it....if you confessed to the sheep in Animal
Crossing Wii that you slept with your best friend's
girlfriend, and then said friend bought the machine....
I'm not bothering with Wii Sports just yet; I have Zelda.
I also have a copy of RE4 that I still haven't opened
after nearly a year of having it sit around. Go ahead and
yell at me...
Zelda is the main
reason we're here. I thought they'd never make another
Ocarina of Time again, and I've been impatiently waiting
for this baby since 2004. Generally, the longer time
Nintendo spends on a game, the better it turns out.
Ocarina was delayed many times, and was fantastic. Wind
Waker was released on schedule, and was missing a few
dungeons (with a tacked-on fetch quest in their place).
This game was delayed just as much as Ocarina, if not
more. So based on that, I have high hopes.
Setting up Wii was more involved than any other console
I've bought to date, though I should have expected it. At
least ten separate things need to be plugged in, attached
to each other or set up. But in the end, it's all worth
it...because Wii is the first console where I actually
got a thrill out of setting the clock.
It's true; the remote controls completely kick butt. They
worked exactly as I dreamed they would; I could move
anywhere on the screen easily. There was a real sense
of...POWER. I don't see how anybody who played around
with this would ever be able to justify spending $600 on
a PS3 instead. Despite what they tell you,
"Sixaxis" has nothing on this.
The only problem
is that the speaker on the Wiimote is kind of loud and
scratchy, and I haven't found a way to turn that sound
This is a Gamecube disc (Zelda Collectors Edition)
running on the Wii. Some difference, right? I thought ZCE
would be rendered worthless by the Virtual Console, but
it turns out nothing rumbles on VC. Ocarina of Time needs
I'm going into Twilight Princess nearly completely
spoiler-free. The most that I know is that whenever he
enters an alternate Hyrule with loud overbloomed lighting
everywhere, he turns into a wolf with a green girl on his
The opening cinema
is reminiscent of Ocarina of Time's--Link rides his horse
through the countryside while the camera pans around the
wonders of polygon nature. I can already tell the
graphics aren't going to blow you into the ground, but
this isn't intended to be Gears of War and it shouldn't
be reviewed by graphical standards. Only fools judge on
I prepared to
write Link's name for this game with the Wiimote.
Oftentimes when suddenly prompted for a custom name I get
stumped, but not this time. THIS time, I knew EXACTLY
what to name him:
GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE! I got past
that name entry screen!
But not far enough. The truth is,
I spent the majority of today's alloted waking hours in a
panic, trying to fix a problem with my computer. One
thing I don't understand is why there is yet to exist a
well-known website filled with hundreds of experts who
log in and volunteer every day to help people fix the
unsolvable and complex problems that their computers
develop. I suppose there's the question of "how
could you log in to post your problem if your computer
doesn't work in the first place," but for problems
that prevent internet access, they would also have some
sort of hotline....I guess.
Everyone has computer problems
now and then. Jobs and businesses often depend on their
databases running smoothly, and yet despite our society's
dependence there's no 911 for computers. The fact that no
one has risen to fill this need yet is perplexing. I'd
fill it myself, but I would first need money and a few
hundred computer expert friends. Any volunteers?
You needed SOME reason to check
back today, so this seemed as good a time as any to
re-upload my old Ocarina of Time walkthrough. You may
have tried to see this before, but gotten 404ed. The
skinny is, it was published by a now-extinct UGO offshoot
that was trying to be GameFAQS. GameFAQS itself wouldn't
take this walkthrough, and you'll see why soon enough,
but I actually did get one site to run it. Check this out....
CLICK HERE FOR THE NEXT