12/08/2006 Page One Page Two Page Three At long last, I entered Hyrule Field once again for the first time! I can still remember my first view of it on the N64, and how blown away I was by the sheer immensity and how far I could see into the distance. Given the higher capabilities of these newer machines, I had hopes for the same reaction.
It certainly is huge, there's no denying that, but....I dunno. Maybe my expectations have become too high. Oh yes, and I also bought an SD card recently so I could experiment with the Wii's photo and video viewing features. My own camera takes a smaller-sized card than SD, meaning I have to transfer all the photos from one card to another to see any of them, but the Wii displays them all, as well as all the grainy videos I've shot from the camera--it's a cheap way to burn those to DVD. I had a frustrating time trying to get it to play videos I had NOT shot from the camera; I've found the larger your file size is, the greater the chance of data corruption somewhere within.
I did get it to play Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series. That rules...IN AMERICA!
Well, look who made it into another game: the Red-Hatted Running Postman. It's been said that this game takes place after Ocarina of Time but before Wind Waker, so I'm assuming the original Running Man's son decided to take up the family trade. And attire.
I'm no longer on a mission to deliver the sword and shield, I'm on a quest to rescue the children of Ordon Village which were kidnapped while monkeys were swinging me. It's a good thing the smallest one hasn't had his diapers changed recently! Being a wolf meant I could see a yellow smell trail coming from the direction their kidnappers took them. I had to fight another round of shadow creatures to continue, but this time some kind of purpose was attached to it. The explanation why: I couldn't get across the bridge to Kakariko Village because....there wasn't one. Someone took the bridge, and just left it somewhere else. (Don't you hate it when people do that?)
To get it back, I had to learn how to warp, and it was at this point that Midna revealed to me a function for those shadow guys: with every batch I destroyed, I opened a new warp portal that Midna could use (the catch being she can only use the things when I'm in wolf form). Midna told me where to look, and sure enough, there was this bridge lying sideways against a wall. It was there when I was previously in the area, so the swiping wasn't a recent event. We warped back to the field with the bridge, and it landed in its proper spot, allowing us to venture further into Kakariko Village.
There have been several different versions of Kakariko; this one is in a canyon and has the dusty feel of a Wild West town. Hyrule itself has more of a Western flavor this time around; it wasn't long after this that I battled kidnappers on horseback in a very John Wayne-ish cross-field fight. The kids are here, safe and sound...for now. But remember Ilia, from the beginning of the game? There's been no trace of her since. Not even a trail created by her smell.
Once again, I had to find and kill the 13 Bugs of Scooby Doo to cleanse the area. I wonder if something in the future narrative is going to explain why it has to be done this way? ....Probably not, from my past experiences with this series. This time around I'd be playing with fire. The first puzzle was that the basement door inside one house would not open unless I lit four candles around the room. Midna made an all-too-self-aware comment about that.
One bug was in the Graveyard. Graveyards are always full of secrets in Zelda games, and after I became human again I returned here to see what I could find. Maybe I'm just early, but...this was a letdown. Moveable gravestones did not lead to dark chambers with treasure and ReDeads, but a mere Rupee underneath. This isn't right. I hope in the future when I get more items, something interesting will be revealed. Right picture: ...That might've been my fault. I had to solve another fire puzzle ("puzzle" meaning I just had to take a stick and light a fireplace), but this time, the bug was IN the fireplace and it shot out on fire, igniting the entire room and within seconds, the entire house. Midna flew out in a flash and I followed her...and then we watched the entire place explode in a fiery ball of destruction. The explosion DID make it easier to kill the bugs inside....
After we cleaned out the village, and blew up one house, we skipped up the mountain to exterminate the remaining bugs.
GORON!!!
Halfway up the mountain I found this thing. I'd never seen it before, but it was glowing, meaning it must be important. Pushing A while next to it gave me a screen that instructed me to howl the Song of Healing from Majora's Mask. As always, the mechanics of howling are completely different from every other way to play music in a past Zelda game. This one was a little trickier and a little more frustrating, but after I mastered those three notes, I was taken into a sequence where me and the glowing wolf/skeleton soldier had a owooooing session on opposite cliffs. After that, the other wolf teleported to the lake by my hometown, probably waiting there to turn into the skeleton again and teach me a new sword move.
Guess what's also back, besides the postman? The falling rocks at Death Mountain; the bane of any Zelda player's existence since the original game. This time, I have no shield to protect me...but I also hear a falling-anvil whistling sound every time one is about to strike, giving me a little time to move. Stupid rocks.
After I killed every last bug, I was back at Kakariko's water hole and an albatross told me how good I was and healed the area. My next task began immediately: the village shaman (who was the woman who sheltered the kidnapped kids) told me about how the Gorons hated humans now, and how it'd be nice if someone could prove our race tolerable again by visiting the Gorons and fixing their Goron Mine. Very well; that's why I am here. The Goron blocking my path up the mountain had other ideas. 12/25/2006 Heartbreak! Remember the dough cutout Link ornament I'd made and shown here? This year, he came out of the basket with his sword broken off.
The blade was recovered at the very bottom of the basket. I'm not going to attempt to glue it back on, as everyone knows that'll only hold for about another year before it breaks off again, and then again and again... Christmas Day played out pretty much the same way Thanksgiving Day did--everybody came over, ate edible things, and played Wii Sports. After we'd played that out, I had to put in Zelda and break my long hiatus, trying to advance to Death Mountain with everyone watching. Usually, if I show a game to someone else, I play a part that I've played before so I don't look like a clueless idiot. Not this time.
My showdown with the Goron didn't end well. I was expected to stomp my feet firmly on the ground and stop him from rolling into me with the sheer force of my hands, but after several attempts at this, it occurred to me I probably wasn't expected to win something this hard. Sure enough, as I left the mountain to figure out what to do, the shaman appeared and mentioned (about two life hearts too late) that the mayor of my old hometown village knew the secret to stopping a rolling Goron.
I have a feeling I'm going to run into this mailman a lot. He takes his job so seriously, he recently made GameInformer Magazine's "Top 10 Dorks of 2006" list (really; look in there). He delivered me a letter from Ooccoo, and after reading it I think I'll be shredding anything else I get from her. I don't know how that scary thing got my address but I want off her mailing list.
While I was in the village area, I made sure to stop by the lake and meet that wolf. Today's lesson is how to block. It's no longer automatic, and this is the move I've heard a lot of people have trouble mastering because it requires a lot of force to make a "Nunchuk thrust" register. It took me about ten tries. Nobody better hit me.
Aha, this is what I figured: I'd need the Iron Boots to beat the Goron! Plus, the Mayor's secret...but he feared Link would give that secret away, even though Link NEVER TALKS. It took at least two menu choices of "Yes" before he spilled his beans. And what beans they were. This IS a secret I'd have a hard time keeping to myself.
The secret is....how to sumo wrestle. No wonder. If I found out the only way to best a Goron in battle was stripping to your undies and growing a gut, I'd tell everybody. The fact that the game has sumo matches may make it the best Zelda based on that alone.
These kids can't stay out of trouble. As soon as I got back to Kakariko, a gang of big, bad, boar-riding Moblins showed up and snatched one away. The reason for this is never explained; why is everyone after these squirts instead of the destined hero with the Triforce on his hand?
There he stood, with his big bad horns and a child on a stick. This was one of the first scenes from the game we were shown back in 2004, and it's still cool now. Nothing's changed for this scene; it still leads into a thrilling horseback clash of blades. And in a rare incidence for Nintendo, NO long instruction sequence! You're just led right into this new form of battle with no explanation. I might as well admit that I was in this battle for 15 long minutes. It took me too long to figure out only defeating the head Moblin would end the battle, and it took me even longer to catch up with him. By the time I'd at last made a difference, I was dizzy from the twirling camera and I only had half a heart left.
So I hoped that the game would show mercy and not make me--OH ^%$#! I have to battle this guy in a closed area over a bridge now? I charged toward him, prepared my sword--and he bumped me off the bridge and "GAME OVER" flashed on the screen. Fortunately, I'd thought to save my game when I entered the bridge.
But
when the game loaded back up.....I was nowhere near the
bridge. TO BE CONTINUED |
