Greetings, you.

You most probably don't know who I am, but odds are good I know who YOU are, so you'd best read my entire speech. I am Mulberry Sharona, 16 years old and as of this writing worth approximately $3,898,207,185. Every day, in one way or another, you buy something that is connected back to me. And there's nothing you can do about it. Unless you plan to quit eating. AH-HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oh, and by the way, I think cartoonists who try to be cute by writing the introductory page from the viewpoint of the main character are repulsive little hacks, but I can't choose my creator.


This would be Jack, and to be frank, I can't exactly recall when he started hanging around me, or why he is there almost all the time. If he has any connection to me, I've long forgotten what it would be by now. Or maybe he doesn't. I'm not sure. I'm not even sure he's sure. Regardless, he's proven to be trustworthy and a fairly resourceful ally, so I haven't called the security team on him yet.
Tiff is 17 and I recently employed her as housekeeper. She is also the only one who knows of my and Jack's secret identities as Justice Woman and Vigilance Boy---oh, right. I gave that up last month. I guess it doesn't matter now. Anyway, Tiff basically has the mentality of a 5-year-old child....enthusiastic, energetic, and prone to doing cartwheels for no provoked reason. You might assume she's not very bright, and you'd be correct. But sometimes it's good to not be the type to ask questions.

This is the basics....all you need to know to get into my life. If you're thinking of checking your folders right now for any suspicious spy-bugs and cookies after reading this page, then you're smarter than I took you for, HOWEVER: open that folder and a special program will autoactivate, and your entire computer will be rendered inoperable of anything but visiting the Dora the Explorer website. I doubt you're into backpacks that won't shut up, so let's both agree to leave each other alone for now. Got it?