My family gets real trees, by the way...none of that fake garbage. It does help to live in Oregon, where the majority of the country's Christmas trees are grown and shipped can chop them directly from the farms and pay $30, as opposed to paying $50 more and feeding a bunch of middlemen in any other state.

My mother has a hardening-dough recipe and every year since 1993 I've been making my own ornaments out of it. One of the first ones I made was of WALDO. The idea is to try to Find Waldo somewhere on the tree every year. The inaugural year had more ornaments than that, but the Siamese who is no longer with us sat on and crushed the majority of them. Stupid cat.
BIG FUZZY BEAR/PANDA/THING: A lot of my parents' ornaments have this quality where you stare at them and exclaim, "This is the cuuutest thing ever!" Then after a few more seconds you say, "So what is it supposed to be anyway?" This one is also perfectly round, making it suitable for throwing across the room at someone else.
His homebase is the Christmas tree, FREAKAZOID! FREAKAZOID! This one was actually made in 1995 during the first season of the show. They were still making episodes at that time, but I was the only one in my entire grade who watched them. I couldn't get anyone else to watch this, ever. Now I talk to people about WB cartoon shows and they say, "Oh, I loved Freakazoid best!" Really, you? They all got this opinion from watching the Cartoon Network repeats, and it could just make me scream. WHERE WERE ANY OF YOU PEOPLE WHEN THE RATINGS MATTERED? HUGGBEEEEEEES!!! (Sorry, had to throw that in.)
"Homeless Hobbes" is still one of my favorites. I made this in 1996 after suffering Calvin withdrawl for a year. I thought the concept would date itself by the 21st century, but the sight has remained timely.
I consider this one the GREATEST TREE ORNAMENT IN ALL OF EXISTENCE. The proof is right in front of you. It's a stupid construction paper tree I made in first grade because the teacher told me to, and spelled out boldly in glitter are the words: OH YEAH!

I insist that this go up every single year. You can make anything better by adding "OH YEAH!" in glitter to it. That's a fact.

FIEVEL STOCKING: I remember getting this on Christmas Day in 1986. They were sold by McDonalds that year and naturally came with gift certificates inside. Mine also had some very 80's black-and-neon pencils stuck in it. Ever since then, it's been an ornament, and it wasn't what it was intended to be used for but I like it anyway.
UNAUTHORIZED OPUS ORNAMENT: Well, naturally you saw this one coming. AIIIIGH!
DEXTER: I wasn't going to put Dexter up this year, but someone else saw the ornament and yelled, "DEXTER!! HE'S COOL, PUT HIM UP!" Very well, he's cool, so there he is.
At first glance this is just a cat, but upon closer inspection of his tag you realize this is OLIVER from Disney's Oliver and Company. Oliver came out of a Happy Meal and used to play a festive tune when you squeezed his stomach. But that was in 1988. Oliver may be a small ornament, but he's got streeeeet savoir-faire, and thusly gets a permanent spot in the lineup.
This is my runner-up for Greatest Ornament Ever, and I always insist it go right near the top, next to the all-important Bethlehem Star. It's a frickin' MOOSE MADE OF COTTON BALLS!!! The Three Wise Men would have had to kneel before this thing too. And you attach it with a wooden clothespin! It's not going to last forever, though.

And no, it's not's a moose.
M&M'S GENERATION-GAP: We have two ornaments that are advertisments for M&M's, from two different eras. The left one is from the era when the living Ms were as cute as they could possibly try to be and Mars Inc. tried to pass the product off as some kind of miracle. I'm glad I've never seen that campaign return, and that the updated M&Ms with personalities and a sense of humor have stayed with us.
"They DO exist.....ooohhhh..."
LINK: His sword only looks fat because you're seeing both sides of the dough edges. And so what if his shield is lopsided? Excuuuuuse me, Princess.
SOFT SPONGY HORSE: Back when we had cats(and the Siamese who ruined several of my ornaments), we would put these soft stuffed ones on the bottom, so they would have something to harmlessly bat around and leave the higher things alone. An even greater challenge was keeping them from drinking the water, or "using" the tree.
SOMETHING: She's got a pointy hat and recently gave birth; that's all I know.
You know who this is, right? I don't really have to tell you.

What do you MEAN you don't know? You're sad. It's Gromit. GRO...MIT, from Wallace and Gromit. Isn't it obvious?

And you know this guy, right?


WAKKO. WAKKO WARNER, from Animaniacs. You remember Animaniacs, don't you? NO, not the one with the crazy guy, that was Freakazoid. How can you remember Freakazoid but not this? As far as I know, you WEREN'T WATCHING.

Over the years I've made a full Peanuts Gang lineup, starting with Charlie Brown and Lucy in 1993. I was using the gingerbread man cutout back then, and had to fit whatever I was making into the shape. The official name of the Lucy ornament as written on the back is "Lucy At Christmas With A Bigger Dress."

"Santa Surfing" could have only come from one state.....Rhode Island. (Not really.) "HEEEY, YOU BUST ONE DA'KINE DIVE, BRAH! HO HO HO!"
One of my newest ornaments is Stewie. A little girl asked who that was and I didn't really know what to say because I figured she was too young to watch Family Guy. Of course, then she asked if it was a South Park character.
And finally, ta top it all off....A MICROSCOPIC MOUSE PLAYING A HARP! It's good, but it's no cotton moose.