Well, who doesn't?
You're gonna grow up to be a terrorist.
This is a thing?
Poor guy. Go find the nearest temple and there should be a Beard Pluckers Anonymous meeting inside.
You don't know the half of it; have you heard about this Starbucks requirement?
DEAR FUTR HUSBAND: I DON'T TINK U R GOING 2 WORK OUT
......Moving on.
What's the full story here?
Note to people who don't get satire and think Sam Adams is exaggerated: you can't deny she exists anymore. There are thousands of her!
Hey, it's that guy you know!
Worst nightmare confirmed.
How did the people waiting behind him feel?
This is what TVTropes would refer to as "Nintendo Hard."
Have you ever been on the Internet.....like, at all?
Or was it ever there?........Whooooooaaaaaaaa.