They call it the "Color-A-Cookie." Guess what you do with it. The "cookie coloring kit" lets children do something they've always pined to do, even if they never really thought about it consciously, much less said it aloud. Come on, you know you've always wanted to color a cookie with markers. Don't deny it -- don't bury these seemingly unconquerable dreams. You can do it. You can do it with the help of the Color-A-Cookie kit. You can do it for just 3.99. There's a couple of points that heighten this kit's worth which only become apparent after opening it up. And "opening it up" is no easy task, my friends. We're talking double shrink-wrapped Fort Knox "THIS COOKIE AIN'T SPOLIN" security measures. Whereas our collective underground society would usually utilize teeth to pry apart such packaging, don't bother. Teeth cannot release "Color-A-Cookie" from its prison. Only a knife or a pair of scissors with do -- both if you're feeling thorough. The cookie itself is fantastic. Not a cheapo shitkie by any stretch -- it's like one of those cartoon character cookies you'd get from the old fashioned bakeries, with hardened icing on top and the smell of heavenly Keebler Elves and Cinnamon Toast Crunch bakers swarming around its glorious 10 ounce ass. The hard icing is adorned with a sweet, classic-style drawing of a Christmas Tree, complete with ornaments and gifts underneath. Your job? Color all of that crap in, and stay in the lines buster. That takes us to the Color-A-Cookie kit's best feature -- the markers. Not only is the ink nontoxic and perfectly edible, it's fruit flavored. Really. You get "strawberry red," "lemon yellow," "green apple," and yes, they all actually taste like the mentioned flavors. This leads to an interesting test of wills, as anyone who uses the markers is forced to resist chewing on the tips. I was able to withstand temptation with the green and yellow markers, but c'mon...strawberry red? A man has his limits, and I spent the rest of the day looking like a Kool-Aid prison bitch. I wouldn't put it on the same level as any regular strawberry candy, but it certainly tasted a lot better than the hundreds of times I accidentally sucked up blue ink while chewing on a Bic pen. Am I coming in loud and clear here, guys? EDIBLE...MARKERS. Forget the cookie, forget the Christmas theme. You can be a Jewish health nut, and it's still worth buying. Edible...freakin...MARKERS. Now, for the debut of my newly colored cookie... Beautiful, ain't it? It tastes just like Christmas. If you don't know what Christmas tastes like, buy the Color-A-Cookie kit. Four bucks solves one of life's longest running mysteries. Plus, you get edible markers! - Matt (12/03/03)	Here's an interesting find for Simpsons fans -- it's the original commercial used to promote the first airing of "The Simpsons Christmas Special," meaning it predates the actual series. Okay, so it's not the find of the century, but it's certainly Christmassy enough to include. The thing that struck me most was remembering how excited I was to see this ad way back when. This wasn't just a "show that looked interesting," no sir. As someone who'd sit through endless Tracy Ullman skits just to catch a five-second glimpse of a poorly drawn Homer, "The Simpsons Christmas Special" was just about the best X-Mas present I could receive. Big time family event, too. We all sat around cracking up at this new phenom, and from the looks of it, everyone knew something bigger was coming. Of course, the rest is history -- the show was already planned, but the special's ratings made it a definite. Over a decade later, "The Simpsons" are still going strong and have just as rabid a fanbase as ever. As something that could technically be considered the first Simpsons episode, time hasn't hurt this one as much as it has the true first season. Don't get me wrong -- I love vintage Simpsons, but it was a much different beast in years past than we're used to nowadays. Some say the changes were for the worst, and that the series progressively began grabbing at straws to hold on to its glory days. I disagree. It's still a great show, but imitators and time have just made it seem less edgy. Regardless, the Christmas special was a winner on all counts. It was funny, it hit the right holiday points, and it provided the origin story for that scrawny, assless dog. The commercial used clips both from the special and the familiar opening sequence, but there were also a few sprinklings of the "Ullman Simpsons" -- while the commercial's video quality is admittedly terrible, you'll surely notice a stark difference in the Bart of Then and the Bart of Now. Lisa too, but nobody ever cared much about her. Why start now, Yeardley? Why would we start now? (click to enlarge) 12/3: SNOWY FENCE! And on the third day of Christmas, Playmobil provides Mista Snowman with something I like to call "Mista Snowman's Snowy Fence." Boooooring. I assume the fence's role will become more clear as I open the other gift boxes. As things stand now, the only thing I can do with the snowy fence is use it as an obstacle to keep Mista Snowman at bay. It's pretty redundant when you think about it; snowmen can't really walk to begin with. On the flipside, Mista Snowman's smile seemed a bit brighter in the company of his new fence. something I attribute mainly to the fact that snowmen so rarely get presents. You can give 'em anything -- a dirty shoe, pencil, cardboard box, even a snowy fence -- and they'll still be excited about it. While Mista Snowman doesn't ask for much, I can't help but wish I had something better to hand him. Maybe I will. Maybe Playmobil will provide me with Mista Snowman's Snowy Toys in one of these boxes. Maybe tomorrow. We'll see.