- December 18, 2004 -
 CLAIRE: I can't believe this! They stole today's gift box! WAITERBOT: Let's not jump to conclusions, master. Maybe it has just been misplaced. CLAIRE: I don't care! You're still going to kill them!  CLAIRE: We have to find that box, Waiterbot! It was a big one! WAITERBOT: I'll keep looking. CLAIRE: I think we should check out the backyard. Maybe they stashed it there. WAITERBOT: The backyard? Oh, oh no, it definitely couldn't be there. Definitely not in the backyard. No need for us to check there, master. CLAIRE: What are you trying to hide from me?  MARE: Okay boys, it's almost showtime. KUSE: Mare, are you sure this will work? We're going to look really stupid if this doesn't work. MARE: It'll work, Kuse, have faith! KNACKS: I have faith, my queen! MARE: Of course you do, Knacks. Of course you do.  CLAIRE: Hmmm...this is weird. Why would they steal the gift box but not free my pet monkey? Are they trying to fuck with our heads, or are they just cold-hearted bastards? WAITERBOT: Maybe that guy's a decoy meant to throw us off. CLAIRE: Good call. I'll check his pants.  CLAIRE: What?! You dare flaunt your blasphemy in open space?! Waiterbot, destroy them! MARE: Wait, Claire! We're not looking for a fight! We're ready to surrender the box! It's yours -- take it! CLAIRE: Waiterbot, what do you think? Is this a trick? WAITERBOT: It's hard to say. With the box where it is, I can't tell if their fingers are crossed. CLAIRE: Whatever, just cover me. I'm going in...  CLAIRE: I'm glad to see that you've come to your senses, Mare. It would've sucked if you had to spend Christmas without a head. MARE: You're so right, Claire! I should've known better! You're the new hotness this year, not me! CLAIRE: Yes, I suppose that's true. I am sort of the "It Girl," aren't I?  MARE: Good luck with your new present, Claire! You've earned it! CLAIRE: Damn straight I have. It ain't easy bein' the center of the universe with this sweater on. Now keep quiet while I savor my gift-receiving victory pull by tug. MARE: Of course. The hour is yours.  CLAIRE: ...oh my god.  MARE: Say Claire, look what ya got! It's your very own personal giant-sized enemy! Team Evil, I'd like you to meet a good friend of ours: MEGAMARE Winningham. She brawls. KNACKS: She mauls! KUSE: She got balls. |
