- December 23, 2004 -
MARE: Still no trace of Random Jim, eh?
KUSE: Sorry Mare. Dude's gone AWOL.
MARE: Oh well...no use crying over spilt milk, I guess. Can you believe it? Tomorrow is Christmas Eve!
KUSE: Okay, Jew here -- what's the deal with Christmas Eve? Why is the day before a holiday a holiday? Why a Christmas Eve and not an Easter Eve? Details, please.
MARE: It's hard to explain. I suppose it just comes down to Christmas costing way too money to plow through in one single day. For the bucks spent, we need a little more bang, y'know?
KUSE: So it has nothing to do with religion?
MARE: Christmas?! You're funny.
DOG: Arf, arf arf arf arf arf.
MARE: Criminy, he's right! We almost forgot to open today's gift box!
KUSE: What is he, Lassie? He probably needs to go outside to piss or something.
DOG: Arf arf arf!
MARE: See? That's dog speak for "open the box, because it's marked today and by golly it's almost tomorrow."
MEGAMARE: IF I EAT DOG WILL YOU BE ANGRY?
KNACKS: Oh, that Megamare. She's always hungry!
MARE: Guys, it's a sack of toys!
KUSE: Really? What kind of toys are inside?
MARE: Let me rephrase this. Guys, it's a permanently sealed sack of toys!
MEGAMARE: LOOKS LIKE HAM.
KNACKS: Oh, that Megamare. She's just beating it to death, isn't she?
CLAIRE: FOR THE COLONY!
MARE: Claire?! Are you out of your mind?! You actually think you can take on all of us at one time?
CLAIRE: A bold belief, but yes, it's true. I'm gonna wipe the mat with the whole lot of ya.
MARE: Are not.
CLAIRE: Are too.
KNACKS: Score! Go queen go!
MARE: Megamare...care to take out the trash?
MEGAMARE: TO THE CURB WITH PEASANT GIRL.
CLAIRE: Hah, you think that otter can stop me?! I'm a real Mare, not some bio-engineered clump of stolen organs. Megamare is the Mewtwo to my Mew. Bring it on, Kraken -- BRING IT ON!
CLAIRE: Fine, fine, you win. But rest assured, I'll have the last laugh.
KNACKS: What can she mean by this ominous statement, sire?
CLAIRE: I mean I SET A BOMB NEXT TO SANTA CLAUS AND JOLLY OL' SAINT NICK'S ABOUT TO EXPIRE, BITCHES!
KUSE: S--Santa Claus? The red guy? Mare, should we believe her?
MARE: What choice do we have?! We can't take the chance! We have to save Santa Claus!
KUSE: Wow, we're going to save Santa Claus? We're such a Christmas special.
KNACKS: Every child must be made aware!
TO BE CONTINUED!