- December 5, 2004 -
 KUSE: Okay, what in God's name is this thing? Why are my December 5ths always so insane? MARE: Yeah, this happens with the Playmobil Advent Calendars sometimes. You'll get some weird shit. After all, I came off of one of these babies. KUSE: You're not answering my question -- what is this? MARE: Oh. I guess it's a stage or something? KNACKS: Did you say a stage? I've always wanted a stage! Queen Mare, can this be my stage? MARE: Sure, it's yours. KNACKS: Okay! Now both of you go and sit over there. I'm going to put on a show for you! KUSE: Great, just great.  KNACKS: Then I said to the man with the red hat, "Why red?" "Why not blue, purple or green? Why not peach or apricot? Why not tangerine?" He glanced at me with that look in his eyes, you know the one. Thinking about his hat color was one thing, talking about was something else. He shimmied up from his dark crevice, obtusely shifting from side to side, casting shadows on a well lit fish tank staged against a far wall, routinely monitored to keep up the brackish tones needed for the Red Devils inside to survive. Finally, he stood. He hovered. He huffed and puffed. I asked him again, "Why the red hat?" He glanced at me with that look in his eyes, you know the one. It seemed like an eternity had past before he spoke, but his response explained it all and provided closure. It was only five words, but they had more power per capita than anything my ears had ever be privy to hearing.  KNACKS: "I'm fucking colorblind, you jerk." Thank you, and goodnight. As a parting performance, I shall juggle oranges.  KUSE: This really sucks. MARE: Just clap and be nice. Let him have his moment. KUSE: I wasn't talking about that. I want enchiladas. MARE: We don't have enchiladas. KUSE: That's what I'm talking about. |
