- December 6, 2004 -
 KNACKS: Holy guac -- that's gotta be the biggest box on the whole Advent Calendar! MARE: Correctomundo. Some would even say its contents are the most special. KUSE: "Holy guac?" "Correctomundo?!" Are we about to go eat pizza and kill Bebop? And how do you know what's in the box? MARE: I...I'm not sure. Perhaps I gained some form of magical foresight while being resurrected. KUSE: You have no idea what's in that box, do you? MARE: ...no.  MARE: I think you two should open it. Together. KUSE: You talk about it like it's a process worth teaming for. We're just opening a box, Mare. KNACKS: Will you stop talking to our queen like that? Don't you realize Lord Mare's powers? She's capable of summoning bursts of pure plasmatic energy in her fists and shooting them out of her fingertips like bullets! KUSE: You can't really do that, can you? MARE: ...no.  KUSE: Okay, admitted. We got a winna. KNACKS: Sire Mare, it's a Christmas tree! And it's already decorated! MARE: Indeed, this is a very special occasion. Grab the glasses and that empty decanter again.  KUSE: It's a little flat on this side. And I think this "snow" is really just detergent bubbles. KNACKS: No way man, this shit is beautiful! Look at the vague attempt to appease other religions with the Star of David-shaped ornaments! Kuse, aren't you Jewish? You should be loving this! KUSE: I'd be more appreciative if they didn't all read "Made in Germany" on the front.  KNACKS: What a gorgeous, glowingly great Gristmas gree. MARE: Certainly one of the best on the planet. Knacks, try to find out if any of the local moose lodges moderate Christmas tree competitions. KNACKS: K. I hope the next gift box has Google inside. MARE: Ah, what a beautiful tree. We should celebrate. Say, have either of you ever had sushi?  KNACKS: Sushi? Is that like the gout? MARE: No, it's fine Japanese cuisine -- raw fish and rice doused with soy sauce, offered on small wooden novelty boats. KUSE: I've had sushi a few times. It's not bad. I love those little piles of honey smoked pig skin they give you to stuff the rolls with. MARE: Ginger? KUSE: Yeah that. MARE: Okay boys, go get ready for bed! Tomorrow we go for sushi!  LATER: MARE: Knacks, we're not going until tomorrow. Why did you get dressed up now? KNACKS: I wanted early approval on this outfit. Is it too tacky? MARE: Nah, it works. It's a good look for you. KUSE: Wanted early approval?! Bullshit! Mare, he does this every Monday! He's been doing it since we were kids. We never found out why. Boy, what a freak, right? KNACKS: Mare, I'd like to offer a rebuttal to -- HEY QUEEN MARE, KUSE HAS NO FACE! CHECK UNDER HIS HELMET! KUSE: Betrayer! You swore you would never tell! KNACKS: No, I swore I'd never tell the kids at school. |
