WAITERBOT: Okay wifey, we're here, and I've got a big ax. Happy now? Am I being evil enough for you?
WAITERBETTY: Coming here with an ax isn't enough. You know what you need to do to keep me hot.
WAITERBOT: You do realize, once we do this, there's no going back, right? Nobody's ever going to forgive us for this.
WAITERBETTY: I'll forgive you, Waiterbot.
MEANWHILE!
CONVICT: So you're the new guy, huh?
JHONNY: Yeah, Master Kuse pulled me out today. My name's Jhonny, spelled all weird, like J-H-O-N-N-Y. "Jhonny."
CONVICT: No. You're "Oil." And don't try to deny it because it says so right on your shirt, Oil.
OIL: Okay fine, I'm Oil. Now I have a question: What's the big beef between the pretty girl and the snowman?
KNACKS: Guys, guys, we don't have time for this!
MISTA: Back off, Knacks! I have a score to settle with this heathen!
MARE: Bub, if you've got something to say, I'm listening.
MISTA: What, you think just because you've "reformed" that you're off the hook? Like I'm s'posta just conveniently forget about all the shit you put me through in `03?* You need to apologize.
MARE: I have apologized. It's not my fault you were sleeping. Mares never apologize twice.
MISTA: I demand a sorry that I can hear!
MARE: You're in no position to demand anything. You're a snowman! You can talk and move and you've got a wife! You've got more going for you than any other snowman -- you don't need an apology from me.
KNACKS: Kuse, take Mista Snowman over there and get him to chill out.
KUSE: Huh? I'm not good at this kind of stuff, Knacks. I don't know what to say to him.
KNACKS: Just tell him that he needs to drop all this shit with Mare and move the fuck on.
KUSE: Ugh. Can't we just side with Mare and tell him to get out of our lair/lobby?
KNACKS: Mare, we're wasting too much time! Waiterbot and Waiterbetty have the Claus bods! You know how that shit works. It's like Chucky. The longer they're on 'em, the harder it's going to be to pull 'em off.
MARE: Knacks, I know, but we still don't have enough strength to take them down! We need help!
KNACKS: I'm starting to get the impression that you're just not at all into the idea of saving Santa and Mrs. Claus.
MARE: You're wrong. I'll prove it...
MARE: Okay LEGO people, listen up! Even all of you can't take down our enemies! I need to empower you with magic stuff! Are you with me?
FIREMAN: Yes!
MARE: I will assume Fireman speaks for everyone. Please stand still as I perform my zany trick.
MARE: Shit, I can barely remember how the spell goes. If I'm off by even a syllable, the results could be disastrous...
By the dragons light!
On this December night!
I call to thee to give them your might!
By the power of three!
I conjure thee!
To protect all that surrounds me!
So mote it be!
So mote it be!
MARE: Well? Did it work? How do you guys feel?
LEGOTRON: Lady, I think you done gone fucked up.
MARE: Ah, shit. Knew I shouldn't have thrown in that extra "mote it be."
LEGOTRON: Well now what?
MARE: I guess we'll just have to run with it. You're taller than Waiterbot now, at least. That's something. All told, I think I've done a fine job.
MARE: Okay heroes, it's time to make with the heroics!
KNACKS: Are we going to save Santa now?
MARE: Did you go grab today's gift from Playmobil?
KNACKS: Uhhh, NO, I thought the whole Santa thing was a little more important.
MARE: To the Advent Calendar!
LATER!
LEGOTRON: Holy cow!
KNACKS: Wow, my own cow!
MARE: We can use him to carry our wares!
KUSE: Um, guys?
KNACKS: Yeah, we could! I can't wait to make him carry stuff! Cows are good at that!
MARE: You're telling me! Like raw luggage!
KUSE: GUYS SHUT UP ABOUT THE COW, one of the other gift boxes is all smashed up!
MARE: Oh man. This is really, really, really bad. You guys have NO IDEA how bad this is.
KUSE: What's up?
MARE: Well, the reason I've been procrastinating about saving Santa is because I knew there'd be another Santa Claus. Every Playmobil Advent Calendar has a Santa. This was his box. We're totally fucked. We've got one Santa with his body under Waiterbot's control and another Santa missing. We've got no Santa.
KNACKS: I bet Waiterbot is behind this, too. He's behind everything nowadays.
MARE: Let's roll. Now we really can't waste time.
HOLY COW: You guys lost interest before I could reveal that I am, in fact, a talking cow.
