SANTA II: ...it's just not right, you know? He's had his turn. I've been sitting in that box like a madman, and now that it's time for Santa to pony up and hand over the reigns, he's being all belligerent and holier-than-thou. I'm sick of it. What am I supposed to do until Christmas? Just hide behind a chair and tell anyone who passes to pretend they didn't see me?
WAITERBOT: It's a sticky situation you're in, Santa II. But we're always here for you whenever you need to talk.
WAITERBETTY: Have you told the original Santa how you feel? Maybe he doesn't really know!
SANTA II: Oh he knows all right. We've had plenty of discussions between yesterday and today. Hundreds. He's not budging. He won't even let me screw my wife because technically she's his wife and good God it's all so confusing and I swear that it's not easily explained away by the rules of polygamy. I just want my day in the sun.
WAITERBOT: Give me a little while, Santa II. I'll think of something. I always do.
SANTA: Can you believe this mess?! Jesus Christmas! Those villains only had control of our house for what, a week? How did they turn this place into such a wreck?!
MRS. CLAUS: Well, let's just clean it up and try not to stress out over it. You've been stressing out a lot lately.
SANTA: Like I don't have enough to worry about! I've got to deliver presents to sixty-trillion idiots by Christmas morning! I don't have time to clean messes I didn't create! And those fuckheads killed all my reindeer! How am I supposed to get around?
MRS. CLAUS: Just calm down, Santa. Just calm down.
SANTA: Would you look at this?! Corpses! What are we supposed to do with all of these corpses?!
SANTA II: I can't believe I'm actually doing this.
WAITERBOT: Trust us, Santa II. Our evil ways are over. We're only trying to help you.
WAITERBETTY: And find new bodies!
WAITERBOT: Shut up Waiterbetty.
MEANWHILE!
KUSE: Man, Mare sure was pushy about cleaning this place up, huh?
KNACKS: Can you blame her? She's not used to having dozens of LEGO gifts along with all of the Playmobil crap. The least we could do is get rid of these empty boxes.
KUSE: It's not that I mind throwing boxes away. I just hate being asked to.
MARE: Hey guys, great job on those boxes!
KNACKS: See Knacks? She appreciates us.
MARE: Now it's time for you to open today's gifts!
KUSE: Argh, she's still telling us what to do.
MARE: I still don't get this LEGO Advent Calendar. What's the point? Isn't it overkill?
KUSE: Hey, it wasn't my idea to bring this into the fold. This was all Santa.
KNACKS: Wow Mare, look at this! Today's box looks just like the one you came out of! Maybe I'm getting another Mare!
MARE: You built that pretty fast. What's your secret?
KUSE: It wouldn't be a secret if I told you.
MARE: So, I see you didn't get a new Mare.
KNACKS: Nope, and don't tell me someone isn't fucking with me, because there's no reason a broom needed a box that big.
MARE: Knacks, we live by very few rules, but if you got a broom out of today's box, that's the way it was meant to be. Besides, it's not like Kuse got anything so great today, either.
KUSE: YAW HEEEEEE!
KNACKS: I absolutely hate this broom.
MARE: But you love me, right?
KNACKS: Wellll...yeah. :) I love you, Mare.
MARE: Good! Then who cares about some broom?!
KNACKS: No fair pulling the love card out.
SANTA II: MARE AND TROOPERS! We have to talk!
MARE: Santa II? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be preparing for your role as Santa I?
SANTA II: Guys, Santa is treating me terribly. I can't be around him right now. I need a place to stay for a few days.
KUSE: Well, we're kind of packed here Santa. Maybe you should try the Best Western down the roa--
MARE:KUSE!
MARE: Santa II, of course you can stay! Stay as long as you'd like! We've got plenty of room!
SANTA II: Awesome, I appreciate it. There's one more thing, though. My new friends need a place to stay, too. But they're tiny!
SANTA II: Can they stay? Please?
KNACKS: It's Waiterbot!
KUSE: And his bitch!
MARE: Santa II, have you gone mad?!
WAITERBOT: Look guys, we're done being jerks. Surely you can forgive us. Life's dealt us an awful hand. It's tough to stay straight when you look like this. We had our problems but now we're over them. We just want to be friends.
