KUSE: And a police barricade. I don't know why LEGO chose to move forward with this big "law theme," but it certainly doesn't feel Christmassy.
KNACKS: But still....robot dog...
KUSE: Yeah, robot dogs are pretty cool. What'd Playmobil give you?
KNACKS: I'm afraid to look. I don't think I can take another shitty present.
KUSE: Dude, you can't just not open it. Santa's paying you good money to do this.
KNACKS: Kuse...every time I pull out another shitty present, a little piece of me dies.
JONES: What'd he get?
KUSE: Fucker still hasn't opened it. He's "working up to opening it."
FIREMAN: I bet he won't be getting any firemen this year.
JONES: Or police officers!
KNACKS: I can totally hear everything you assholes are saying.
KUSE: Well, what is it?
KNACKS: I swear to God I am going to fucking kill someone.
KUSE: Come on. How bad could it be?
KNACKS: I swear to fucking GOD.
KNACKS: FUCK this shit. I QUIT. Going out for some air. Anyone wants that present, they can take it.
KUSE: Damn. No wonder he's pissed. He got more cats.
FIREMAN: If you can persuade them to crawl up into a tree, I can show you what I do for a living!
MEANWHILE...
INKY: Sire, why are we here? What is this place?
WAITERBOT: This is the Playmobil Advent Calendar. I believe you've heard me talk about it plenty of time.
INKY: Whoa...THIS is it?! The home base for all of that crazy shit that went down last year?
WAITERBOT: Yup. Those turdbags you located earlier and a couple of their friends made my life an absolute Hell last year...all with the help of this insidious little Advent Calendar.
INKY: Are we here to burn it?
WAITERBOT: No. That would be crass. Go find me the box marked "6."
MEANWHILE x2...
Sigh.
KNACKS: I can't believe how bad this Christmas season is. I usually love Christmastime. Piss pans, cats, some kind of canteen -- what kind of gifts are those? Ugh. I hate being so materialistic, but it's hard not to be when your buddy keeps winning police officers and placating firemen.
And robot dogs.
Sigh. I miss Mare...
MISTA SNOWMAN: Excuse me friend, but we couldn't help overhearing you. Did you say "Mare?"
MISS SNOWMAN: As in, "Mare Winningham?" We knew her once. Chick was a real cockwench, but at least she knew how to keep Christmas interesting.
KNACKS: Wow! Talking snowpeople!
MISS SNOWMAN: You hear that, Mista? "Snowpeople." Why can't you talk like that?
MISTA SNOWMAN: We're snowmen, lady. I know you don't like the sound of it, but that's the way it's always been and that's the way it's staying.
