WAITERBOT: Take no prisoners, everyone! Destroy everything in sight! Everything!
MARE: You guys take out the trash down here -- I'm going to see what I can kill upstairs.
WAITERBOT: Meet us in the kitchen in five minutes.
MARE: Like I'll really need that long.
ELF: I don't know who you are, but STAY BACK! I know ninja stuff! I'm not afraid to hit girls!
MARE: "Ninja stuff," eh? Well...I know magic.
ELF: Oh yeah? What are you going to do, turn me into a frog?
MARE: Not quite.
Bones of anger, bones to dust
Full of fury, revenge is just
I scatter these bones, these bones of rage
Take thine enemy, bring him pain
I see thine enemy before me now
I bind him, crush him, bring him down
With these bones I now do crush
Make thine enemy turn to dust
Torment, fire, out of control
With this hex I curse your soul!
HELLF: I serve you and only you, Mistress Mare.
MARE: Wow, I even got the change-wardrobe part right. I'm getting good at this.
WAITERBOT: For twelve months, or somewhere between eleven and twelve months, I've looked at you and your kind and been made SICK...over and over again! YOU, with your gift bribes and debauchery, and your hot wife and your sleigh bells, and your stupid reindeer and big fat lazy stomach...YOU! If my troubles are a solar system, you are its sun. I've been waiting for this for a long time, Santa Claus.
SANTA: Do what you will with me, but please, leave my wife alone. She's not a part of this.
MARE: She's part of it all right. Guilty by association. And for having bigger fucking boobs than me.
WAITERBOT: Inky, bind them and bring them to my chambers!
INKY: All by myself? Can't you guys help?
MARE: We direct, you produce.
LATER...
SANTA: You'll never get away with this, villains. Too many good people care about us. We'll be saved and you'll all go to jail.
MARE: Oh we're shaking in our boots, fat man.
SANTA: YOU shut up! I know you! I know what you are! You're a Mare! I've known Mares. I've seen and fought better Mares than you. You're a no good bottom feeder! No better than a crab!
MARE: Okay, it's definitely time to chop his face off.
WAITERBOT: Any last requests, Santa?
SANTA: Just one. Let Mrs. Claus and I go free.
WAITERBOT: Nice try dick.
MARE: Don't worry, Santa. I'm not going to kill you. I'm not even going to cut your head off. I'm just going to remove some of your face. Nothing you can't live without. But while I'm doing this, I'm going to spit in your eyes over and over again, just because I think it's important that you not only swell with fear, but also indignity. Perhaps next time you'll think better of rating me so poorly against my predecessors. And if you ever compare me to a crab again, I'll snip your goddamned balls in half.
SANTA: Ahhh! My hair! My beard! Why?! They took FOREVER to grow!
MARE: Santa, see this knife? It's really just hollow chocolate shaped like a knife and wrapped in foil. Don't you feel stupid now?
WAITERBOT: Inky, wash your hands. It's time for me to move on up to the East Side.
WAITERBOT: Easy, EASY! Spirit fingers!
WAITERBOT: This pirate body shell served its purpose, but to truly meet my destiny, I need more power.
WAITERBOT: I need...Santa power.
SANTA: NOOOOOOOO!
AND THEN...
INKY: I...I can't believe what I'm seeing.
MARE: This is one of the most absurd, beautiful things the world has ever known.
WAITERBOT: From now on guys, we're in charge of Christmas.
