MISTA SNOWMAN:Don't you wish your girlfriend was HOT like me...
MISTA SNOWMAN:Don't you wish yo' girlfriend was a FREAK like me!
KUSE: Would you please, for the love of Christ, for everything sacred, please, please shut...the fuck...UP!
MISTA SNOWMAN: But Christmas is the season for singing!
KUSE: Ugh, we got birds. Shitloads of birds. And white things.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Those are Christmas birds! Look, there's the holiday bluejay! And those two dark ones are rare mispigmented turtle doves!
KUSE: Okay, so what's the green bird supposed to be?
MISTA SNOWMAN: He's the magical Christmas Tree Bird! But don't play favorites with him, because every bird here is magic!
MEANWHILE...
TROLL: K guys listen up. The boss is mighty pissed. The whole point of us keeping that little snail tramp captive here was to lure them out of their safety zone so they'd be easier to pick off. Since nobody wants to come rescue her, it's time for Plan B.
TROLL: The boss is giving you guys until Saturday to go find, catch and kidnap one of the other heroes. Boss said that it doesn't matter who, but you know how the boss is. I wouldn't like, go catch one of their puppies or owls and call it a day. Choose your prey carefully.
EVIL-2: We will not fail the boss. We couldn't live with ourselves if we did.
TROLL: Good. Now go, skiddadle, vamoooooosha...off with yas.
MEANWHILE...
KNACKS: Hey everyone! We're back from another rousing adventure at the LEGO Advent Calendar!
TIGERBOY: It was so invigorating!
LEGOTRON: I don't trust that tiger.
DOCTOR: Oh, the LEGO Advent Calendar! That's where I was born, you know. What'd you get today, anything good?
TIGERBOY: We got this!
KNACKS: We're not sure what it is, but look how big it is! It must be important!
KNACKS: Hey wait a second...I see everyone else running around here...but where's James Lipton? Legotron, don't tell me you already managed to swindle him out of his head!
LEGOTRON: I wish, buddy.
DOCTOR: Actually, James is out back. Try to keep quiet if you go back there, though. He's in the middle of a shoot.
JAMES LIPTON: SOOOOO...Waiterbot. YOU have become quite the remarkablous Christmas superstar. You have lent emotional weight to such hits as, The Advent Calendar: 2004, and, The Advent Calendar: 2005. Now YOU'RE going for the TRIPLE. The turkey. The big number three. Tell THE audience what IT is like to DO this...this REMARAKABLOUS thing that you do.
WAITERBOT: Remarkablous? Well I dunno about that, but I'll tell you this: It's been a ride. For sure, it's been a ride. I mean, I came into this thing as a one-shot. They came to me and said, "You've got a good look. We've got a part we think you'd be just right for. It's not a big part -- a waiter at a sushi restaurant -- but if you do well, it could lead to bigger things." I guess I did well, or at least, they thought I did well, because here I am, three years later!
JAMES LIPTON: THAT'S REMARKABLOUS. I mean it, that is truly REMARKABLOUS!
LATER!
KUSE: Honey, I'm home.
MARE: Kuse! How did everything go? Did Mista Snowman annoy the shit out of you?
KUSE: Ugh, yes. When I finally got him to stop singing, he started humming, and when I yelled at him for that, he skipped around me in circles saying, "YOUUU told me not to sing songs but YOU didn't-tell-me not to hummmm."
KUSE: How's everything been here?
MARE: Pretty normal. Packed house, though. Between our special guests and our new baby, I've barely had time to keep up my nude interpretive ass dance.
KUSE: I know what you mean. Everything's so superfluously complicated these days. Whatever happened to me looking in the mirror, seeing no facial features and that being it? Have the days gotten longer, or am I just getting older?
MARE: Hah, I totally forgot that you used to not have any facial features. I had a crush on you even then!
MARE: Don't worry, Kuse. You know how Decembers go for us. They start slow, they get wacky, but by Christmas, everything will be so nice and tidy that we'll almost be bored with it. Then we can relax, read a book and just focus on raising Box.
KUSE: I guess you're right, Mare. I'm just used to blending in the background more. All of this centerstage stuff...it takes work!
MARE: Well, I think you're doing a great job.
KUSE: Thanks.
KUSE: We can still fuck even though the kid's in the room, right?
