MISTA SNOWMAN: Worried? Why should I be worried?! My wife isn't in any trouble!
DOCTOR: But Mista Snowman, nobody has seen Mrs. Snowman since yesterday. In light of the whole "kidnapping villains on the prowl" fiasco, surely you're the least bit curious if they didn't snag her, too.
MISTA SNOWMAN: This whole story is nonsense! Clearly my wife is out fetching magical Christmas firewood so we can all gather around the hearth and spoof Alice Cooper songs, and what I mean by that is, we'll switch up lyrics to his biggest hits to make them sound like magical Christmas carols!
DOCTOR: Mista Snowman...it is far more plausible that Mrs. Snowman was kidnapped by the bad guys. I think you need to think about this. It's a very real possibility.
KUSE: Mare, please, you've gotta listen! I know I fucked up, but the important thing is that we find Box and get him home safe! You can't shut me out now.
MARE: The problem with you, Kuse, is that you'll say something like that, and I'll question whether you mean "shut you out" or just "cut you off."
KUSE: Mare, I told that snowman to go grab the Playmobil gift by himself today. I know it's against the new rules, but I told him I needed to be with you today. We can go look for Box together.
MARE: I am going out to look for the baby, Kuse. But alone.
KUSE: Mare, what can I do here?! If I could trade places with Box and have it be me stuck outside in the dead of winter with wolves prowling and evil--
MARE: You're not helping.
KUSE: Well, I guess, on the bright side, this is still a lot easier than I ever thought being married to a Mare would be.
TIGERBOY: Go with your instincts. That's what us tigers do.
KNACKS: Everyone on MySpace is asking why you keep your profile private.
TIGERBOY: You've seen it, dude. Some of the "groups" I belong to. And their conventions. A lot of them prefer their anonymity.
WAITERBOT: Hey Knacks, lemme borrow that electrogizmo. I have something important I need it for.
KNACKS: What? You don't even know how to work a computer! Why could you possibly need to be on mine?
WAITERBOT: I uh...I have to write a police report. They asked for a full account of what happened and wanted a written description of Waiterbetty. It's for their search.
KNACKS: Oh, well, yeah, okay, I guess you can borrow it then.
KNACKS: Just be careful with it, okay? That's my life's work in there.
WAITERBOT: I'll take good care of her she -- she won't get a scratch.
KNACKS: Alliteration?
WAITERBOT: Lando Calrissian quote.
WAITERBOT: I appreciate this, Knacks.
KNACKS: Good luck finding Waiterbetty, Waiterbot!
TIGERBOY: You trust that guy with your laptop? He gives me the creeps.
KNACKS: Aw, Waiterbot's not so bad. He's kind of like our own personal Sloth.
TIGERBOY: He's still a weirdo. Yesterday I caught him pretending to put food on a plate before sneaking out into the back room. Knacks, the plate was empty. When I went in the back room, Waiterbot was eating the plate.
KNACKS: Yeah, heh, he does that. Let's go to the LEGO Calendar...we've gotta beat the sunset.
MEANWHILE...
WAITERBOT: Police report my ass! Now, where is this "pornography" I always hear people reference?
WAITERBOT: What's this screen mean? Wait, this is that MySpace Internet site. The one he's obsessed with. Shithead forgot to logout!
WAITERBOT: "Post A New Blog?" Hmmmmmm....
MEANWHILE...
HOLY SHIT
HOLY SHIT
MAGICAL CHRISTMAS CHIPS AND DALES!
HOLY SHIT
LATER!
KNACKS: I'm worried about my grandson, Tigerboy.
TIGERBOY: You mean your godson.
KNACKS: Whatever.
KNACKS: I'm worried about Kuse and Mare, too. How do you deal with something like that? Losing a child?
TIGERBOY: Don't ask me, I can't even handle goldfish. Bada bum.
KNACKS: Every year, me, Kuse and Mare run into all these problems in the middle of December, but they always seem to just work themselves out by Christmas. I don't know if that's going to happen this time.
KNACKS: Last year, I got to ride with Santa in his sleigh. This year, I might be burying my grandson in his grave.
TIGERBOY: Godson.
KNACKS: Whatever.
TIGERBOY: Looks like you're finished. What the hell is that? See, this is exactly why I didn't want this job. Even when you build things the way you're supposed to, you still don't know what they are!
KNACKS: What's wrong with you? This is obviously a garbage can catapult, with a pickax so you can niche out your score on the pavement.
KNACKS: See? If you jumped on this part, the garbage can would go flying!
TIGERBOY: Hey Knacks, look down there.
TIGERBOY: We totally forgot to come back for the Webelos guy yesterday!
KNACKS: Okay, if I can hit him with the garbage can from here, that's 100 points -- agreed?
MEANWHILE...
(slurrrreruuuuplunk)
KUSE: What was that?! I heard something!
(slunk slerrrrrplunk)
KUSE: Mare? Box? Box is that you??
KUSE: Oh. It's you.
KUSE: Why are you using my bathroom?
JAMES LIPTON: Because it is more remarkablous than mine!
