KUSE: Yeah, I'm good for one of those every six months or so.
MARE: No, seriously, this is just what everyone needed!
MARE: An afternoon outdoors playing in the snow! What a way to celebrate another year of conquered evil!
KUSE: Everybody Wang Chung tonight.
WAITERBOT: So this is what snow looks like, eh? Rather disgusting in my view. And wet. Why does everybody like this stuff? Seriously, do people just wander around town thinking to themselves, "Gee, I sure wish there was crushed ice all over the place!"
MISTA SNOWMAN: It's great to have the homefield advantage, ain't it?
MRS. SNOWMAN: Right you are, hubby, right you are. For all we know, some of this place might become our relativea someday!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Magical Christmas relatives!
JAMES LIPTON: HANG TEN, BUSTERS!
LEGOTRON: James, you idiot, you need a hill if you're gonna ride a sleigh. This place doesn't have any.
JAMES LIPTON: Are you saying I can't hang ten? That's not very remarkablous.
MEANWHILE...
COP DUDE: Halt! Stop right there, ma'am!
COP DUDE: I'm afraid you can't go in there. We're under strict orders. If you want to speak with management, you'll have to come back later. They're out playing in the snow right now.
LATER!
TIGERBOY: Ahhh...it feels good to finally be in my natural element again. Tigers thrive in these conditions!
KNACKS: Tigerboy, if you're going to cosplay and really "live the role," you've gotta do more research on what you are. Generally, tigers wouldn't be particularly thrilled with snow.
TIGERBOY: Oh yeah? Claire Winningham.
KNACKS: Asshole.
BOX: Look Mommy I'm making a snow angel!
MARE: And what a beautiful snow angel it is, honey! You go right on and keep making snow angels! Make the best snow angel the world has ever seen!
KUSE: Snow angels? You're encouraging this crap?
MARE: We can't choose his path, Kuse. We have to support his choices.
KUSE: Fine, but it's time to leave anyway. Let's get these imbeciles together, hit the calendars and head on home.
JAMES LIPTON: LEAVE?! We can't leave now!
JAMES LIPTON: I've yet to hang ten up!
MEANWHILE...
MARE II: Sorry guys, it was nothing personal. You were just...there.
LATER!
KNACKS: Attention everybody, attention! I figured, since this is one of the rare times when everyone's at an Advent Calendar, that it might be a good idea to explain exactly what Tigerboy and I actually do here. If you have any questions, please save them for after the demonstration.
KNACKS: When Tigerboy and I come here, our first job is to look for the door with the correct date marked on it. Obviously, since today is December 20th, we're looking for the box marked "20." After we find it, we yank out a gigantic plastic sack filled with random parts. Technically, that's our gift, but it does get a little cooler after we...build it.
KNACKS: Now, building a LEGO Advent Calendar gift can be a little bit tricky. Sometimes, we get pretty self-explanatory stuff -- James Lipton, I'm looking at you. Other times, we just have no idea what the hell we're building until it's built, and even then we're not always sure. For the most part, I do the building while Tigerboy stands around trying not to let the back of his head get into camera view.
TIGERBOY: Hey!
KNACKS: I cannot stress enough the importance of patience when building a LEGO Advent Calendar gift. It's very tempting to just build it however you can, and never really pay attention to whether you're building it correctly or not. You have to have patience. If somebody puts you in charge of the LEGO Advent Calendar, they expect you to make the gifts right. Everybody, repeat after me: "Patience."
KNACKS: When you're finished, the only thing left to do is drag whatever the calendar gave you home. After that, you have no responsibility for what happens to the gift. You're like a fish at sea, giving birth. The birth stuff happens at the Advent Calendar. Once you're done birthing, or giving birth or whatever you wanna call it, it's mostly up to the gifts to take care of themselves. And I'm not just talking about the sentient gifts, but even the ones that are just objects -- like this red wagon mini-firetruck thing we got today. Anyone have any questions?
WAITERBOT: Man, I did the calendar so much better than this. Plus, based on what he's saying, Santa shouldn't have fired me. I got the gifts out of Dodge -- what more did he want?
LEGOTRON: I don't even know why he's giving this speech. Half of us were born on one of these things.
MEANWHILE...
MARE II: You're lucky we're telepathic. I would've never found this place on my own.
LATER!
PARTY TIME AT PLAYMOBIL!
KUSE: Okay, let's get this over with and go home. It's been a long day.
MISTA SNOWMAN: HEY EVERYONE, I am going to take a hint from Knacks and present another special lesson, this time on how to run a magical Christmas Playmobil Advent Calendar!
KUSE: No. You're not.
KUSE: Let's just find today's gift and blow this taco---
KUSE: Oh no.
KUSE: Mare, we gotta get home. Right now.
MEANWHILE...
MARE II: Encased in ice for two whole years! That musta sucked. How ya feelin?
CLAIRE: How am I feeling? I spent two years absolutely freezing, unable to move. Cast aside and forgotten. Paying for crimes I would've committed but did not commit.
CLAIRE: How am I feeling? You ever see Demolition Man? Remember when Sly noted that he experienced every desperate second while trapped in stasis for all those years? It's true. I lived, I saw, I felt. I felt pain that I couldn't even begin to describe.
CLAIRE: So, Mare II, when you ask me how I'm feeling, I only know of one way to respond.
