MARE: Oh those poor, poor guys. They didn't even have a chance to get proper names.
KUSE: One of us should contact their families.
WAITERBOT: I elect Knacks.
KUSE: Mare?
MARE: Yeah...I know. This is really, really, really bad.
KUSE: We better check the house out.
MINUTES LATER...
KUSE: Good Christ.
MARE: I can't believe it, Kuse...I just can't believe it.
MARE: They fucking torched the place! Everything's ruined! Gone!
KUSE: I...I don't know what to say.
KUSE: ...we don't even have insurance.
MARE: Oh my God...look what they did to our tree! How can anyone burn down a Christmas tree?! Both of them were born on Advent Calendars!
BOX: Don't worry Mom, it'll be okay. Maybe we can still fix it up.
MARE: Box, honey, it's over. It's completely and totally over. Christmas is canceled.
WAITERBOT: Look at this crap! There's soot everywhere!
TIGERBOY: So? Weren't you the one who went off on that ten minute tangent about how much you liked soot?
WAITERBOT: It's not the same if you don't cause it yourself!
JAMES LIPTON: They even flipped the bench over! We're dealing with extremists!
LEGOTRON: Sooooo....what do we do now?
WAITERBOT: Well we obviously can't live here anymore. I'd invite you all back to my house, but I haven't been there in a while and, to be truthful, I never cleaned out the dead LEGO bodies from when those other bad guys decimated the place. It must really stink by now.
KUSE: Let's head back to the barn. We'll have to clean it up and sleep there for a while.
MARE: Everyone, scour the house and see if anything can be salvaged. And Waiterbot? No looting.
LATER...
LEGOTRON: You've gotta be joking me. That's all we have left?!
LEGOTRON: That red wagon truck thing, one chipmunk, the dog, a bird, a traffic post, a broken coffee pot and a cell phone?!
TIGERBOY: Coffee pot looks okay to me, bub.
LEGOTRON: Even so...that's all we have?
KNACKS: Nope! Look guys -- the fire didn't hit my laptop! I can still blog!
LATER...
KUSE: Are you okay, Mare?
MARE: No. Not really. I'm tired of this, Kuse. Every year, it's the same thing. I didn't ask to be born a Mare, you know. It just really sucks. If you're a Mare who doesn't fuck things up, then you're a Mare who gets all of her shit fucked up. What's God trying to tell me? To be an asshole?
KUSE: Baby, the fact that you're a good Mare is what makes you so special. And so strong. Don't let a stupid fire and some lost baubles make you forget that. It doesn't take much to torch someone's house when they're out playing in the snow. We'll get through this, I promise.
MARE: Kuse, seriously, does this look like Christmas to you? Severed heads strewn about a filthy barn? This is where you want to spend the holidays? I don't. This place is a hellhole.
KUSE: Look Mare, I know it sucks that people died here, but at least that guy died smiling.
MARE: I'm going for a walk. I need some time to think.
KUSE: Did I do something? Are you mad at me again?
MARE: No Kuse, I love you. It's me. I'm mad at me.
LEGOTRON: She's uh...she's pretty upset, huh?
KUSE: Yip.
LEGOTRON: I couldn't help noticing that severed head. I don't suppose it'd be okay if I....
KUSE: Not now Legotron.
MEANWHILE...
TIGERBOY: Knacks, we probably should head down to the LEGO Calendar. It's getting late.
KNACKS: Argh...do you think you'd mind taking care of it by yourself today? I'm just not feelin' it.
TIGERBOY: Fine, but you owe me.
KNACKS: Everyone's so upset about the house. I don't get it. We used to have our friends murdered on Christmas Eve, and even that wouldn't make us lose our spirit. Sure, maybe I don't know what they're all going through, but....I dunno...I guess I think they've just forgotten what Christmas is all about.
KNACKS: "Christmas is a time for friends. For smiles. For handshakes and for Niles, which is to say, Crane, as in, a Christmas-themed Frasier rerun. Christmas is a time for thought, and for care, and for happiness, everywhere. Christmas is a time that people see other people the way those other people ought to be seen. Christmas is a time for merriment, whatever that means."
KNACKS: This is going to be the best blog entry ever!
LATER...
TIGERBOY: Thanks for coming with me, Box. I didn't want to go out alone when there's clones of your mother wandering around murdering people and setting homes on fire.
BOX: Do you think I'm related to those other Mares, somehow?
TIGERBOY: Maybe. But I wouldn't advertise that in public.
BOX: Are you sure you know how to build this?
TIGERBOY: Of course I know how to build it...why would you even ask me that?
BOX: Uhhh...no reason.
TIGERBOY: Just gotta tighten up this one teensy little screw and...voila! Today's gift is complete!
BOX: What is it?
TIGERBOY: The genesis of a foot-powered scooter with many, many sets of handlebars.
BOX: Uh huh. And you're sure you put it together correctly?
TIGERBOY: YES of course I am! Why do you keep asking me that?
BOX: ...no reason.
MEANWHILE...
KUSE: Well, we got a big giant flute, and a pair of brown birds.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Eclectic is the new black!
KUSE: Feel pretty bad for these birds, actually. With the way things are going, we might be eating them for Christmas.
KUSE: I notice that you haven't shouted or sung anything today.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Yeah. Even I have my breaking point.
KUSE: You're making me wish they burned down the house weeks ago.
MEANWHILE!
MARE II: Claire, you did it! You burned their house to the ground! Where are we headed to now, huh? Mexico?? A little margarita action by the bay?
CLAIRE: No. We're not finished here.
CLAIRE: Did you really think I was going to torch their house and call it even?
