SCABBY: Yup. Think the boss will reward us for this?
WAITERBETTY: Unhand me you pimply shits! Don't you know who I am?! I am Waiterbetty -- bride of Waiterbot! My husband will have your heads for this!
SCABBY: PS, she's been saying that exact same thing over and over again -- albeit it without pluralizing "shit" -- since I took her. Broad's a broken record.
BAD GUY: Let's go see the boss. I always get butterflies in my stomach before we see the boss.
MEANWHILE...
KUSE: Is that all this thing's gonna do? Crawl? Boooooring.
MARE: Kuse! We named the baby so we wouldn't have to keep calling it "this thing!" Call him Box!
KUSE: Fine. "Box" smells like piss and I think you should do something about it.
MOTHER: Sup, youngins?
MARE:Mom? I hope you're not here to start any trouble. We have a baby to raise now. I love you, but this constant pestering and assorted bullshit has to stop.
MOTHER: Relax. I just came to see my grandson.
MARE: Really?
MOTHER: Yeah. Look honey, I may not agree with a lot of the choices you've made over the past few years, but you're still my daughter and I've only ever wanted what's best for you. But, it's your life to lead. You want to spend it with that guy, sure, fine, yes yes do it. So long as I can be a part of my grandson's life, I'll be good.
KUSE: I don't trust her, Mare. She has crazy eyes.
MOTHER: I know I don't deserve this, but please, for an old lady's sake...let me hold him.
KUSE:What?! No way!
MARE: Kuse! It'll be okay...we have to give my mother another chance.
KUSE: But Mare! Have you seen that woman eat lobster? She'll crush every bone in his arms!
MARE: MOTHER, yes, of course you can hold Box. I'm sure he wants to get to know his grandmother, too.
MOTHER: Oh, thank you so much deary...thank you so much...
LEGOTRON: C'mon, Chef. I can't tell you how happy Surfer's soul has become since being absorbed into the sum of my parts.
CHEF: No-a way! I stand-a a-lone!
BOX:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
KUSE: I told you not to trust that bitch, Mare!
MARE: She threw the baby...oh God she threw the baby...are you okay, Box? Box speak to me!
MEANWHILE...
KNACKS: So Santa put you in charge of the LEGO Advent Calendar? What happened to Waiterbot? And how do you know Santa Claus?!
TIGERBOY: I don't know him -- that's the crazy thing! He was in my neighborhood going door to door and I was the only one home! Everyone else went to the stupid Pink Floyd laser light show down at the planetarium!
KNACKS: I guess Waiterbot got the ax. I knew he couldn't handle the pressure! Now he knows why I didn't want the gig this year!
TIGERBOY: Knacks, what am I supposed to do with this stuff?! I don't know how what this thing I pulled out yesterday even is! I didn't even know what an "advent calendar" was until last night!
KNACKS: It's not that hard, Tigerboy. Everyday, you come here, you pull out that particular day's corresponding gift, and you build it. Here I'll show you...
KNACKS: See? Easy as pie.
TIGERBOY: But pie isn't easy, Knacks -- that's the thing! I've tried to make pie! It's impossible! Plus I don't even know what you built! What is that?!
KNACKS: Tigerboy, what's the problem? This is obviously a desk with a stripper pole attached. Here I'll show you...
LATER!
SCABBY: Step aside, gentlemen...we've come to see the boss.
EVIL-1: The boss? You are not on the boss's itinerary for today.
EVIL-2: The boss? The boss did not inform us to expect anybody today.
EVIL-3: The boss? Didn't he sing that song about AIDS that won all those awards?
MEANWHILE...
MARE: ...and don't come back until you've really changed! You're lucky our baby isn't dead! I can't believe I'm related to you!
MOTHER: You're going to regret this, Mare. Blood is all you've got.
KUSE: Are you okay, baby?
MARE: I'll be fine. I think I just need a little "me time" right now. Why don't you take Box and go get today's gift? I'm going to take a bath.
KUSE: Okay, but please don't use all the hot water, because if I'm going to walk all the way to the Advent Calendar, I'm gonna stink by the time I get back, and thus, will need to shower. And Kuse don't shower cold.
MEANWHILE...
KNACKS: Hey Tigerboy! I finished building today's gift, too! Look -- it's a cosmetic computer! You can't actually do anything on it, but it really looks like you could!
TIGERBOY: That's great, Knacks, just great. See my tail spinning? You've seen the Nightcrawler/Mystique scene in X2, right? You know my tail only spins when I'm really excited.
KNACKS: Was that sarcasm? Tigerboy, what's wrong? You're not the type to resort to sarcasm.
TIGERBOY: It's just that I'm not cut out for this, Knacks! I only said "yes" to Santa because he was all up in my grill!
KNACKS: So what are you saying? You want out?
TIGERBOY: Yes. I want out.
KNACKS: Let me ask my friends on MySpace about it. I don't know if you can just "quit" an Advent Calendar.
LATER!
KUSE: Well, kiddo, here it is. The Playmobil Advent Calendar. It's where you were born, and it's where so much drama is always rooted. You're going to have very strong opinions about this place when you grow up.
BOX: Gagagoo?
KUSE: Pay attention to what I do here, son. Someday you might be in charge of all this.
KUSE: When you run an Advent Calendar, it's your job to come here everyday until Christmas, find the gift, open the gift and make sure nothing bad happens to that gift. But there's all sorts of weird rules and convenient cavaets. Like, sometimes, evil clones of your mother sprout up from one of the boxes. And we're not allowed to open the boxes out of order. And we can't miss days because it fucks up the tides. Wait...I shouldn't be giving you all this information all at once. You need a chance to process this.
KUSE: Would you look at that, Box? You got your own puppy! See? There's nothing to be afraid of. The Advent Calendar is tricky, but it usually fights for the side of right.
WAITERBOT: KUSE! KUSE I've been looking for you!
WAITERBOT: KUSE, listen! Some bad guys kidnapped my wife and I think they're after you and Mare and Knacks, too! We have to do something! We have to..uh...
WAITERBOT: ...is that your baby? What a cute little precious thing he is! And there's a dog, too? Oh what a special little festival of all things cute this is!
MEANWHILE...
TROLL: What?! You think you can just walk right in and see the boss?!
TROLL: I beg to differ. Just give me what you came here to give the boss. I'll take care of it.
BAD GUY: How do we know that you won't take full credit for our find? We want to see the boss! We wanna see the boss we wanna see the boss!
TROLL: You want to see the boss? You want to waltz into the boss's throne room and hope and pray that you have the social graces required to quell the boss's penchant for smoking his visitors? Are you sure? Do you really want to see the boss?
SCABBY: He's right, Bad Guy.
BAD GUY: Ugh...fine. Give him the basket. Hey dude -- you just better make darn well sure the boss knows where this came from! Our cell numbers are in the basket!
LATER...
KUSE: So you're telling me that some guy with a faux beard wanted to join some evil dude's supervillain team and help them destroy our lives? Why didn't you tell us?
WAITERBOT: What? Just because I'm not doing anything evil means that I also have to stop other people's evil from happening? Come on! You ask too much!
KUSE: Then why are you telling me now?
WAITERBOT: Because they got me fired and they stole my wife! We have a common enemy, Kuse.
WAITERBOT: What are we going to do?
KUSE: I don't know. I guess you should come home with me and Box. We'll figure this out back at the ranch.
WAITERBOT: I hear you've got this really cool miniature box of Hostess Ding Dongs there.
KUSE: Yeah, that's uh...that's a tender subject.
FINALLY...
TROLL: Oh, great boss! I beg I am worthy of my continued exposure to your presence! I come bearing a gift. It's a gloppy creature that claims to be female! I've been told you were expecting this!
TROLL: What would you have me do with her, my kind and generous lord? Your wish is my command!
