KNACKS: ...like I told you, he doesn't want to stay there. He's just doing it so we won't have to wander the streets. Considering everything that's going on, can't you understand why that's so important?
MARE: I guess I'm just not as confident as I thought I was. I can't shake the feeling that Kuse is taking all of these extra shifts because he doesn't want to be around us. Around me.
KNACKS: It's not like that, Mare. I mean, the first thing I spotted in his cubicle was a picture of you in a fancy frame. A really fancy frame. He probably spent fifty bucks on the thing.
MARE: Really? Wow. Then what was the second thing you noticed?
KNACKS: A picture of Doctor in a slightly less fancy frame. I didn't inquire.
MARE: Ugh...you're right, Knacks. I've been too hard on him. I'm just at my breaking point with this shit. You'd think I'd be used to getting shafted with villains and wars after all these years, but it still stings as if it was our first Christmas season ever ruined.
KNACKS: I know what you mean, Mare. My girlfriend ran off, and I've got a perfectly good rebound right under my nose, but Waiterbot keeps her in a cage and won't even let me talk to her. The truth is...sometimes Christmas just sucks.
WAITERBOT: Uh, excuse me guys...
KNACKS: Not now, Waiterbot. We're trying to have a moment.
WAITERBOT: Bah! What I have to say is important!
KNACKS: Sure it is. What do you want to tell us? That you're going to rule the universe? That Christmas is actually a celebration of you? Or...wait, I think I got it: "You are Waiterbot?"
WAITERBOT: Everything you've said is true, but there is a more pressing matter to attend to.
KNACKS: Oh really? Like what?
WAITERBOT:...that.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Hey everybody! Look what we got! A giant Mare! She's got hot pink hand energy and everything! And we have no idea if she's good or evil! Her name is Trudy!
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FFFFFFUUUUUUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDGE
MEANWHILE...
LEGOTRON: If they're going to make me venture out into dangerous territory for no good reason, I'm at least gonna get something out of it. I'm taking this head.
BOX: Legotron, I know I said that I didn't care if you stole the LEGO heads, but in light of everything that's happening with my mother's rabbit sister, don't you think we could use the extra hands?
LEGOTRON: Hey, I don't give a shit about what you do with his hands.
BOX: Hmm...doesn't that look kind of like James Lipton's head? And isn't that body almost exactly like his?
LEGOTRON: Actually, yeah...he does look a lot like James.
BOX: You can keep the head.
LATER!
MARE: Trudy, listen...it's just that we're having a really rough month, here!
KNACKS: It's not that we don't like you...we just have to look out for ourselves and our family, y'know?
KNACKS: Try to understand...this isn't about you. It's about us. We're at odds with a psychotic giant rabbit and...well, do you really need to know more than that? We...are at odds...with a GIANT RABBIT.
MARE: And the rabbit is my sister!
TRUDY: Mare, how do you know that I'm not one of your sisters, too? Just because I came from another dimension's Advent Calendar doesn't mean that we aren't family. And is this how you treat people who are potentially family? You just throw them into the streets?
MARE: She's got a point. Just because so many people have tried to hurt us doesn't mean that she's going to.
KNACKS: Okay, let's give her a shot. Besides, she's fucking gigantic. If we're going to brawl with a big rabbit, it might be good to have a little muscle.
SANTA: Mare, may I have a word?
MARE: What's the matter, Santa? Do you disagree with us? You think we shouldn't trust her?
SANTA: No, it's just that I don't want to seem like an ineffectual Santa Claus in front of our new roomie. Just pretend that I'm making poignant points as I whisper. Nod your head up and down as if you were weighing the words I say.
MARE: Trudy, we've hashed it out. You can stay. We're sorry we ever said otherwise.
TRUDY: Great. You guys have anything to eat around here?
MARE: The kitchen's downstairs. We've got plenty of food.
TRUDY: This is good to hear. Now, which two of you will have the honor of carrying me there?
MEANWHILE...
SANTA-X: Looks like they've acquired a new ally. Should we be worried?
HARE: Of course not.
SANTA-X: But look at how big she is! And didn't one of them make some reference to her proficiency with hand energy?
HARE: Santa-X...I brought your charred corpse back from purgatory with my bare hands...and still you don't trust me?
HARE: You must learn to live by my letter, and welcome patience into your life. It is said to be a virtue.
SANTA-X: You're right, Hare. I've no reason to doubt your master plan.
HSSXXLLLO: ...oh God...how could I have done this to Kuse?
LATER!
WAITERBOT: I feel so small! So unworthy! So powerless! Tell me, snowman...am I losing my touch?
WAITERBOT: A year ago, I would've looked that pink bitch straight in the face and told her something of great consequence before punching her in the tit! How could I have backed down from someone named Trudy?!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Don't worry about it, Waiterbuddy! I did a special Christmas poll before we left, and only half of the people living in the house think you're a wimp.
WAITERBOT: What?! They dare speak ill of me when I'm not there to defend my honor?!
MISTA SNOWMAN: They're calling you "Wimpybot!"
WAITERBOT: Open that box, snowman. Clearly I have been spending too much time bathing Cher. I think our friends need a little reminder that I am evil personified!
MEANWHILE...
FIREMAN: This is so unfair! She hasn't even lived here for a full day yet!
DOCTOR: True, but what can we do about it? She's like 80 times bigger than the three of us combined!
FIREMAN: Gah...I'm so pissed!
FIREMAN: ...the last Ding-Dong should be ours! Now what are we going to add to the "Free Parking" pile to spice up our next Monopoly game?
DOCTOR: We could just play Scrabble instead.
FIREMAN: But it was my turn to be the car!
JAMES LIPTON: Excuse me, miss! I'd heard rumblings that we had a new arrival...but nobody told me she was so lovely!
TRUDY: Eating. Go away.
JAMES LIPTON: I can see that you're eating, and I think it's a real testament to your skillset that you are able to do that! So talented, and yet so very, very pretty!
TRUDY: Eating. Talk later.
JAMES LIPTON: Why, I'd go so far as to call you "striking!" Yes, indeed, you are quite striking! In fact, you look like a movie star!
JAMES LIPTON: ...and it just so happens that I make movies. Tell me, dear: Would you have any interest in starring in my new romantic comedy? It's about this girl who falls in love with this boy, but she can't tell the boy because she's a mute, and she can't draw a picture for the boy because she was born with mutant hands that serve her no better than a pair of drumsticks would.
JAMES LIPTON: I call it: "Can't Bear The Pain."
JAMES LIPTON: You'll understand the "bear" pun when you read the script. All I'll tell you now is that the movie does a complete 180 in its third act...when a live grizzly bear is revealed to be the story's true star!
TRUDY: Will I get paid?
JAMES LIPTON: This is an arthouse film. There isn't much of a budget, but I can come up with a respectable per diem if you're willing to work long hours.
TRUDY: I want top billing. Even over this "bear."
MEANWHILE...
WAITERBOT: I can't believe this! A gold ring, and an apple in a basket? What kind of malarkey are we dealing with, here?
MISTA SNOWMAN: The good kind!
WAITERBOT: No! There is no such thing as good malarkey! There is only bad malarkey!
WAITERBOT: I don't have time for bad malarkey! I must return to my lair and map out my game plan. By this time tomorrow, those flippant idiots will regret the day they decided to call me "Wimpybot!"
WAITERBOT: ...and if that thing is what I think it is, you are doing the Advent Calendar by yourself tomorrow!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Wimp.
WAITERBOT: What'd you just say?
MISTA SNOWMAN: Whoomp. You know, like the song?
WAITERBOT: Yes yes I know the song. Very catchy, that one was.
