MISTA SNOWMAN: Thanks for being a magical Christmas friend and helping me with my Advent Calendar duties today, Tigerboy!

TIGERBOY: No sweat. I've actually always wanted to see this place. I've only worked on the LEGO Calendars so far.

MISTA SNOWMAN: Oh ho ho! You are in for a treat! If LEGO is a Christmas goose, then Playmobil is a whole flock of Christmas geese!

TIGERBOY: So I hear. Too bad Waiterbot had to drop out for the day. He told me he has a nasty infection and needed to make an appointment with Doctor.

MISTA SNOWMAN: What? Ho ho! Waiterbuddy has lied to you, my friend!


MISTA SNOWMAN: See this box? Wimpybot's afraid of it! Can you believe that? Afraid of something Christmassy!

TIGERBOY: He didn't want to see what was in this one, eh? Great. It's probably a bomb or something. What do you think is in there?

MISTA SNOWMAN: The possibilities are endless! I just hope it's something magical and Christmas-themed!

TIGERBOY: Uh huh. Okay, you hold the box, and I'll pull out the gift.

MISTA SNOWMAN: HILARIOUS that you would say that! I was going to suggest the same thing! Great minds think alike!

LATER!


KUSE: I can't believe this! How can there be so much work to do this close to Christmas?! Doesn't anybody take a freakin' vacation in this business? God damn it!


HSSXXLLLO: Hi Kuse. Don't scream, and don't get up. Just listen to what I have to say, okay?


KUSE: Hssxxlllo? So you do have something to do with Mare's sister! I knew it! I can't believe you'd do this to me!

HSSXXLLLO: Just be quiet, Kuse...I didn't come here to hurt you, but I'll use this if you force me to.

KUSE: Use what? That hairdryer? What are you going to do? Blow warm air at me to death?

MEANWHILE...


BOX: Are you almost done with today's gift? It's getting chilly out.

LEGOTRON: Yep, just gotta tighten two more screws. Help me get this thing up there, will ya?

BOX: Ugh, it looks heavy. Why'd you build it down there, anyway?

LEGOTRON: I wanted my uppermost heads to look like an eerie periscope. Do they?

BOX: You know what...they do kind of look like a periscope!


BOX: What is this, some kind of watchtower?

LEGOTRON: Well, actually, it isn't. See, going by the formal definition of "watchtower," you're referring to a kind of high-level lookout point from which we would survey the open land and try to spot trouble before it was too late. According to Merriam-Webster, this is a clocktower.

BOX: Now I feel stupid.

LEGOTRON: Don't. You're young. You've still got plenty of time to learn, kiddo.

MEANWHILE...


HSSXXLLLO: Look...I can't tell you a whole lot, but I can tell you this: I'm sorry that I betrayed you, and I really hope that your side and mine can pull through this thing without too much carrotable damage.


KUSE: Carrotable damage? That's the stupidest shit I've ever heard! It's even worse than Mare having a sister named Hare! And I can't believe that you'd even try to "make up" with me now. You do realize that your weirdo leader is planning to kill my whole family, right?


HSSXXLLLO: Kuse, there are times when I think that I perfectly understand Hare's intentions...and there are times when I don't. I'm not saying that I regret the choices I've made...just that I'm cognizant to the fact that they may end up being bad choices. In case that ever happens, I want you to have these documents.


KUSE: What are these? And how do I know you didn't lace them with arsenic or some shit?

HSSXXLLLO: You'll just have to trust me. I believe in my cause, but I never thought I'd have to do so many rotten things to prove it.

KUSE: And what exactly am I supposed to do with these papers? What good will they do?


HSSXXLLLO: If I'm lucky, they won't do you any good. If I'm not, then they just might save your life. Study them, Kuse. And be careful out there.

LATER!


JAMES LIPTON: Okay Trudy, now remember your motivation! You're a mute, heartbroken heroine with mutant hammer hands! We'll edit out your fingers in post-production. Action!


JAMES LIPTON: Good, good, you look like you're longing for something...yes, yes, that's right! You're longing for love! You look solemnly towards the ground, as if the ground was capable of speaking and knew the solutions to your problems. Trudy, you're doing great!


JAMES LIPTON: Okay, now it's time for the money shot. Stare at your mutant hammer hands in disgust! Remember, we're going to make them look really gross and disgusting in post!


JAMES LIPTON: Yes...yes I dare say that this is the ticket! View those hands as if they were demons permanently attached to your body and soul! Now try to whimper, but do it silently...you're a mute, remember!


JAMES LIPTON: Wonderful. We've nailed our first scene in a single take!

TRUDY: But why are we stopping? We've still got a few hours of good sunlight left.

JAMES LIPTON: I uh...I ran out of film.

TRUDY: You mean we're not shooting digital?

JAMES LIPTON: Don't worry, I've hired a great team of production assistants for today! They'll get us some new film in no time!


JAMES LIPTON: Guys, I need film. Any type will do. If they're out of everything, just pick me up something that looks like film. I haven't told Trudy, but this is actually just a toy camera! I wanted her to become comfortable being filmed before breaking out the good stuff.

MR. OWL: Hoot. Hooooot.

JAMES LIPTON: I have to agree with you!

MEANWHILE...


SANTA-X: What the fuck? Why are we wasting time watching this crap?! We should be out there killing them!

HARE: You're beginning to test me, Santa-X. Never a good idea.


SANTA-X: Look Hare, I don't mean any disrespect. It's just that I wasn't cut out for this whole "watch and learn" thing. I need action!

HARE: If you're looking for something to do, I believe I can help. Please, follow me.

LATER!


CHER: I was hoping you would show up! Waiterbot's been downstairs for over an hour now.

KNACKS: Yeah, he's busy beating up all the LEGO dudes in the kitchen. I'm really happy to see you, Cher.

CHER: Right back atcha. You've pretty much been the highlight of my life so far!


KNACKS: Cher, the reason I came up is...well, I kinda wanted to talk to you about something. This isn't easy for me to say, but...I can't stop thinking about you. I know I'm a little vulnerable right now because of what happened with my ex, but I can't help feeling that there's more to it than that.


CHER: So cute!


KNACKS: I'm sorry if telling you this stuff is making you uncomfortable.

CHER: Not at all! I feel the same way about you, Knacks.

KNACKS: Really? You really mean that?

CHER: Totally! It's just too bad that I'm locked away in this cage!


CHER: ...but there's always a way to make things work.

KNACKS: I rule.

MEANWHILE...


ORANGE OSWALD: FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, ENOUGH! PLEASE MAN, PLEASE! I CALLED UNCLE AN HOUR AGO! PLEASE STOP! PLEASE STOP HITTING ME!


WAITERBOT: If I may paraphrase the butler...Waiterbot did it. In the kitchen. With the wrench.


WAITERBOT: I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD! WHOOOOOOOO


MARE: Waiterbot! What have you done?!

SANTA: What the hell did you do to them?!


WAITERBOT: And just what do you two want? You're spoiling my moment of triumph!

MARE: Waiterbot, you beat up all of the LEGO guys!

SANTA: Good God...there's blood everywhere!


WAITERBOT: You have no proof that I did what you say I did! No jury would believe such a tall tale!

MEANWHILE...


SANTA-X: The Advent Calendar? Why'd we come here? You rabbits haven't gotten anything good from this thing in over a week!

HARE: Then the odds must be due to change.


HARE: I want you to wait by this box, Santa-X. At the stroke of midnight, open it.

SANTA-X: Why? What's so special about this one?

HARE: Some say that all animals form a loyal bond with whichever creature they first witness upon exiting the womb or hatching from an egg. If they're to be believed, you are very fortunate to be the first thing that this gift will see.

SANTA-X: You're really weird sometimes, Hare.

HARE: Are you surprised? I'm a giant neopagan rabbit from Amalthea.

LATER!


MARE: I can't believe you! With everything that's been happening to us lately, HOW could you go and do this?

SANTA: Yeah, man! You almost killed those guys! You're on the naughty list, buster.

WAITERBOT: Bah, "the naughty list." Sounds like the back page of a lingerie catalog.


MARE: Look Waiterbot, Santa and I discussed it, and there's no way we can let you keep doing the Advent Calendar. It's just too big of a responsibility for us to be depending on you for.


WAITERBOT: Oh boo hoo! You think I'm upset by that? Ha! Moreover I feel rewarded! I feel as though I've done good!

MARE: Great, then you won't mind handing over all the gifts that you've collected. Including Cher. You know the rules.

WAITERBOT: I do know the rules, and the rule was that I'd have to give them back if I quit doing the Advent Calendar of my own volition! And clearly I have not! I can have my cake and eat it too! I am Waiterbot!


TIGERBOY: Uhhh...Mare? Can we talk for a sec?

MARE: In a minute, Tigerboy. I can't let Waiterbot win this argument.

TIGERBOY: It's really, really important.

MARE: What's wrong?

TIGERBOY: Well, remember how everyone sort of freaked out when Trudy walked in the door yesterday?


TIGERBOY: ...I hope this doesn't call for a repeat performance.

MISTA SNOWMAN: Hey everybody! Look what we got today!


MISTA SNOWMAN: It's another giant Mare! Her name is Carol! And as we found out on the walk home...Carol don't take no shit!


AH FOR FUCK'S SAKE



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