MARE: Stay back! If you thought my son's hand energy was something...you won't believe what I can do.
MARE II: Mare, stop! It's me...Mare II! Remember, from last year's Advent Calendar?
MARE:What?! It can't be!
MARE II: It's true, Mare.
MARE II: Those blasted bunnies tried to get me to join their cause, and when I said no, Hare killed me, skinned me and resurrected me as this! I've been under her spell for months!
MARE: This can't be happening. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING.
MARE II: Mare, I too have tried to tell myself that, but it really is happening. Every once in a while, her spell wears off and I remember who I really am...but the spell always returns, and off I go, looking for brains and mayhem again.
MARE II: But with each passing day, those short moments of sanity seem to be becoming more and more infrequent. I know what's happening, Mare. Eventually, I'm going to be a zombie and nothing but that.
MARE: Oh God, I can't believe this! I can't believe Hare would do this! Is there anything I can do to help you?!
MARE II: Just one thing...
MARE II: Destroy me.
MARE: What?! I can't do that, Mare II! I've gotta save you!
MARE II: Sis...by all rights, I'm already dead. I just want to rest in peace. So long as these bones remain intact, I'll be forever chained to the whims of that awful rabbit.
MARE: Jesus...I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, Mare II.
MARE II: Promise me something. Promise you won't tell Knacks about this. Just let him think that I dumped him so he can move on with his life. He doesn't deserve to go through the pain.
MARE: Mare II...you're a dear friend. We all love you very much.
MARE: Save a seat for me in Heaven. I'll look for you the second I get there.
MEANWHILE...
HARE: Well isn't that lovely? Quite the bond those sisters share, isn't it? Gee, you'd almost think that they were good people, and totally not the type to abandon their "other" sister when she's wrongfully banished to the brink of the solar system!
HARE: It is time, friends. It is time to right their wrongs.
CHAINMALE: I'd just like to point out that my name is really clever.
HARE: Indeed, your name is a much needed pick-me-up after having to watch that sad sap show on our criminal television set.
LATER!.
WAITERBOT: Okay ladies, now you listen to me! We can either do this the easy way...or the hard way.
WAITERBOT: I want that box of Hostess Ding-Dongs, and I want it now.
TRUDY: And you really expect us to just give it to you without a fight?
WAITERBOT: Yes, if you're smart. Have you seen the LEGO guys lately? Our living room looks like one of the makeshift street hospitals from that stupid Volcano movie. I hated that movie!
TRUDY:We hated that movie too, Waiterbot...so we're going to go a little easy on you. If you want the box of Ding-Dongs, you'll just need to answer three trivia questions.
CAROL: Trivia questions...about Beverly Hills, 90210.
WAITERBOT: It just so happens that I am very familiar with the cogs and screws of that particular television drama!
WAITERBOT: You're on, bitches!
TRUDY: Great! Pull up a chair!
MEANWHILE...
LEGOTRON: I totally should've taken this new guy's head. I mean, how pointless can you be?
BOX: Why, what's the problem? The house could use a little help in the janitorial department.
LEGOTRON: Yeah, but come on...a guy who sweeps? A guy who just...sweeps?
BOX: There's nothing wrong with a little cleanliness.
LEGOTRON: I should've taken that head! How could I have been so stupid?!
MEANWHILE...
TRUDY: Okay Waiterbot, let's kick things off with an easy one. In the pilot episode, what did Brandon's love interest eat for lunch at school?
WAITERBOT: Too easy! It was Lobster Cantonese! It helped the audience understand that kids played by different rules in Beverly Fucking Hills!
CAROL: Wow, you're good.
TRUDY: Okay Mr. Hotshot, let's see you try this one on for size: Remember Scott Scanlon? The kid who accidentally -- or maybe on purpose -- shot himself at his birthday party, much to the horror of the more important characters? Well, at the birthday party where he shot himself, what was the primary evidence of Scott's perpetual uncoolness that disgusted the regular cast?
WAITERBOT: You call that a question?! It was the fact that his mother put plastic toys atop his young-skewing birthday cake! I mean, the kid had to be seventeen-years-old! Who has plastic cowboys on their birthday cake when they're seventeen-years-old?!
CAROL: Incredible! Okay, time for the FINAL QUESTION. When Donna Martin was expelled after being caught drunk at the senior prom, what was the chant used by her classmates when they marched in protest of the school's harsh decision?
WAITERBOT: Three words for ya, Carol!
"DONNA. MARTIN. GRADUATES."
CAROL: Sir, you're amazing. There's no other way to say it. You're amazing, and you're a genius.
WAITERBOT: Finally, someone who gets me!
TRUDY: You've earned this, Waiterbot. Enjoy the box of Ding-Dongs!
WAITERBOT: Perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps violence isn't always the answer.
WAITERBOT: Hey wait a second...this box! This box of Ding-Dongs is empty! I've been had!
WAITERBOT: I outed myself as a 90210 fan for nothing!
JAMES LIPTON: ...and you did it before an audience of millions, Waiterbot! You're a star!
LATER!
KUSE: So what do you think, Vinny? Can you make any sense of it?
VINNY: I told you Kuse, I only dabbled in this weird witchy stuff. It was long time ago. I'm a little rusty.
KUSE: Well, do you understand even a tiny bit of it? Give me something, here.
VINNY: I understand one thing. Hssxxlllo is batshit crazy. Thank God he quit!
VINNY: I'm going to need a little more time on this one. Let me study the papers for a bit.
KUSE: Ugh...I don't have time, Vinny! My family's in danger!
VINNY: Well, you shouldn't have let Hssxxlllo help you mail that package home. Now they've got your home address, and it's all your fault!
KUSE: Thanks. That's just what I needed to hear.
MEANWHILE...
KNACKS: So how do you like your eggs? Scrambled...or super scrambled? The latter is my specialty!
CHER: This is so great. Nobody has ever made me breakfast before!
KNACKS: Just wait until you see what I've got "cooked up" for lunch! Get it??
CHER: You're funny, Knacks!
KNACKS: So I've got eggs, and I brought up some chicken. I thought I'd let you be the first person to ever answer this question with 100% certainty: What comes first...the chicken, or the egg?
CHER: YOU ARE SO. FUCKING. CUTE!
CHER: I'll start with the chicken, thanks. :)
MEANWHILE...
HSSXXLLLO: Why did you bring us all here, Hare?
HARE: "Here, Hare, here, Hare." If I didn't know better, I'd say you were seeking to inspire a new tongue-twister for the playground children to challenge each other with. Hssxxlllo, we are here to collect our reward!
HSSXXLLLO: But Hare, I already got today's Advent Calendar gift. It was just some armor. Nothing special.
HARE: I know that, Hssxxlllo. I saw you come in with it earlier.
HSSXXLLLO: Then what are we doing here?!
HARE: ...to collect the rest of them!
HSSXXLLLO: We can't do that! You know the rules!
HARE: Oh, Hssxxlllo...without disorder in the present, how would order in the future know what to avoid?
MEANWHILE...
TIGERBOY: Those look like girly clothing accessories.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Yep! That's what they are!
TIGERBOY: If you think I'm going to try them on for you, you're nuts.
MISTA SNOWMAN: I have an even better idea!
MISTA SNOWMAN: How do I look?
TIGERBOY: Disturbing, quite frankly. Actually, you look a lot like your wife.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Do I really? Now that's what Christmas is all about!
TIGERBOY: Speaking of which, where has Mrs. Snowman been lately? I haven't seen her all month!
MISTA SNOWMAN: She likes to keep a low profile.
LATER!
HARE: Hssxxlllo, hold your shield straight! It is with dignity that we enter this battle for all things righteous!
