KUSE: I hope so, Mare...but I have a real bad feeling about all this...
CHER:Knacks! Thank God you're alive!
KNACKS: Yeah, but they caught me...and I think I broke my ass.
CHER: Really? Is that even possible? I didn't know people could break their asses.
KNACKS: Like Pee-wee and the Alamo, it's just one of those things that you have to figure out the hard way.
WAITERBOT: Uh EXCUSE ME, girl...who gave you permission to talk to that antenna-laden bag of wolf shit?
CHER: Waiterbot, remember that little stunt I pulled yesterday? The one where I shot green lightning out of my hands?
WAITERBOT: Oh...that...yeah. Well...okay...carry on. Just try to be back in your cage before sundown, okay??
CHER: We'll see.
CHER: So like I was saying, you're cute and I hope to someday wear your varsity jacket.
KNACKS: I don't have one.
CHER: Okay, then I'll wear your antenna! Does it come off?
KNACKS: Yeah, but only for my favorite people. ;)
MEANWHILE...
HARE: Hssxxlllo, the day has come. We've been waiting for this for a very long time.
HSSXXLLLO: Hare...I want to see Leviathan just as much as you do...but do you really think it's necessary for us to sacrifice all the people upstairs? I mean, can't we just convince them that our way is the right way, and then we'll all pray together?
HARE: I don't view your suggestion as a sound plan. Now go fetch me my sister, her husband and that freak with the antenna on his head.
HSSXXLLLO: You want Kuse? Hare...please...don't bring Kuse into this. I feel bad enough about betraying him at work...can't we use someone else?
HARE: No! This is about more than just Leviathan, little one! With those three out of the way, nobody can stop us from seizing this rotten month of December for ourselves, and nurturing it until it becomes as wonderful and genuine as our holy month of April! Now GO!
LATER!
CHAINMALE: Okay you three...Hare wants you downstairs, so you're going downstairs.
MARE: Well gang...this is it.
MARE: If we're going to die, at least we'll get to die together.
KUSE: And at least I won't have to go to work ever again. I guess there's always a bright side to things.
KNACKS: Ugh, I am like this close to getting to second or maybe even third base...I can't believe I've gotta fucking die now.
LATER!
KUSE: You're a real sweetheart, I ever tell you that?
HSSXXLLLO: I sense a little sarcasm.
KUSE: Try a lot. I can't believe how much of an asshole you are. First you betrayed me after I confided in you about my marriage problems and obsession with coffee. Then you acted like maybe...jussssst maybe...you had a change of heart and wanted to help us. And now look at you! You're just another evil shithead!
HSSXXLLLO: Kuse...I didn't want things to turn out this way. Please understand...this is all just so very complicated...
MARE: So this is how it's gonna go down, huh? You're going to sacrifice us to some kind of devil dude for no readily apparent reason?
HARE: The "reason" might not be readily apparent to you, but to me, it is so unbelievably apparent that I can practically see the words that describe it in front of my face when I first open my eyes in the morning.
MARE: You're a sick bastard, Hare. You always were.
HARE: You're right. I am sick. I'm sick of having a slutbag sister who thinks she can modify the symbol of my dark lord and use it as a dress pattern! Leviathan will eat those stars from your clothes, just before he eats you!
MARE: Those aren't stars! They're polka dots!
HARE: No, some of them are polka dots, but I'm talking about the ones around your collar and lower fringe.
MARE: Those are sunbursts!
HARE: They're blasphemous! Now shut up and let me summon my demon god!
HARE: 7777, I stand before you! You are all things holy, all things true! Hear my words! Hear them now! Take my gifts! Fulfill your vow!
MEANWHILE...
TIGERBOY: Box, what if they try to kill them? We can't just let your parents and Knacks fend for themselves down there.
BOX: I know, Tigerboy, I know. But we're never going to get past Chainmale and Santa-X without some serious hand energy, and there's only so much I can do alone!
CHER: Well, maybe you won't have to do it alone.
BOX: Cher! You've got hand energy!
CHER: Uh huh! Mine's neon green!
BOX: Okay, well, now we're pretty much an even match for those two brutes...but it'd be good if we had a little something extra to push us over the edge.
JAMES LIPTON: I believe your assault could "bear" a little assistance from a certain director!
BOX: James?! You have hand energy?!
TIGERBOY: Oh shit, I forgot to tell you! That isn't hand energy...James had his arms transformed into flamethrowers!
JAMES LIPTON: Didn't any of you get my "bear" pun? It's funny because I so often reference bears and try to act like them.
BOX: Guys...I think we're ready to make our move.
MEANWHILE...
HARE: Leviathan of Amalthea! Now is the time! Leviathan of Amalthea! The 23rd has arrived!
grumble?
HARE: Leviathan of Amalthea! May your presence bless and charm us! Leviathan of Amalthea! You are The One Who Would Save Us!
HARE: Leviathan of Amalthea! I present these gifts, the first of many! Leviathan of Amalthea! Devour at your leisure, for I've brought you plenty!
HARE: These gifts are for you, fit for a king, big and grand! These gifts are for you, and in return, one demand!
state your case
MARE: What. The fuck?
KNACKS: Did the sky just talk? Tell me I didn't just see the sky talking.
KUSE: Honey, is this another one of those "Mare things" that I just love finding out about years into our marriage?
MARE: Kuse...this isn't a Mare thing. This is sooooo beyond a Mare thing.
KNACKS: So what you're saying is...it's a Hare thing.
HARE: Leviathan, I will speak plainly! In return for the generous gifts I offer you, I only ask for Easter to take the place of Christmas, and for me to be made ruler of the tangible universe!
HARE: Do you accept my terms, great one?
i do not accept them. goodbye.
HARE: WHAT?!!
HSSXXLLLO: Oh my God! He turned us down?!
HSSXXLLLO: Hare! This is what I've been worried about all along! Leviathan doesn't want us to spend our lives killing people in his name! He's a gregarious god! We've sullied his well-earned reputation with our actions!
HARE: This is a surprise development for sure, Hssxxlllo, but you know what I think? I think we don't need Leviathan.
HARE: After all, what could some demon god do that I cannot do myself?
HARE: For too long have I grasped at these religious straws. If there is a one true God, clearly he is telling me that my own power is all I need!
HARE: Why call upon Leviathan to destroy the evils of these three...when it's something I'd take far more pleasure in accomplishing myself!
HSSXXLLLO: What?!!
HSSXXLLLO: Hare, what are you saying?! Everything we did, we did for our faith! You can't just go and murder these people! There are no religious rewards to reap! It's just plain wrong!
HSSXXLLLO: I won't let you do this. I can't be a part of this, Hare.
HARE: A part of what, exactly? Were you ever really a part of this, Hssxxlllo? I admit you had your uses, but make no mistake, you were nothing more than a caddy!
HARE: ...and caddies have no right to stand in the way of truth and justice.
AHHHHHHHH!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
HSSXXLLLO: Jesus Christ...what have I done?!
HARE: He'll live to see another hand blast...but you three? I think I'd like to get you three out of the way with a single shot.
MARE: Hare, I've been dead before. And I swear to God, I will not let even death stop me from making you pay for this.
HARE: Such a pity that you wasted your final moments with empty threats when you could've put them to better use praying for a miracle!
KNACKS: Hey, that's what I was doing!
CHAINMALE: AHHHHHH
SANTA-X: AHHHHHH
HARE: OWWWW
HARE: You idiots! You fell off the ledge?!
SANTA-X: No, we got pushed!
HARE: Pushed?! By who?!
JAMES LIPTON: Eat a multitude of bright and fiery colors, rabbit!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
BOX: Yeah, so how did that one taste, Auntie Hare? We can give you a refill if you'd like.
HARE: It was a good shot, Box, but it was also a lucky one.
HARE: Sadly, your luck has run out.
HARE: I AM RABBIT, HEAR ME ROAR!
AHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHH
HEY WHAT GIVES I'm not even a part of this!
KUSE: Mare, he's going to kill our son! We've gotta get out of these ropes!
MARE: I'm trying, Kuse, I'm trying! They're just too strong!
HSSXXLLLO:There!
MARE: We're free!
KUSE: Hssxxlllo! Are you okay?!
HSSXXLLLO: Kuse...the words...say them now...
KUSE:Damn, dude...Hare really fucked you up!
HSSXXLLLO: Kuse! Say the words!
HSSXXLLLO: Say the words that were on the papers I gave you!
KUSE: Oh shit, that's right! The spell! Fuck, how did it go?
KUSE: 7777! Our God up in Heaven! Hear us now, when we need you the most! Be more to us than a mere Holy Ghost!
KUSE: 7777! Our God up in Heaven! Cleanse our lives of the wrongs of others! Deliver us safety, for we and our brothers!
state your case
KUSE: My case? Well, uh...okay. My case is that my friends and I really haven't done anything wrong. My case is that I've got a wife and a kid who I love more than anything, and the best buds a person could possibly have. We're good to ourselves, and we're good to each other. We just want to live in peace and get through one holiday without everyone having to worry about dying.
KUSE: And uh...I guess I don't have anything to offer you in trade for your help, but I'm kind of hoping that you're the type of person or god or deity or whatever who would just want to help good folks like us. What do you say?
i accept your terms
KNACKS: Oh. My. God.
KNACKS: What. The Fuck. In The Fucking Fuck. Is THAT?!
WAITERBOT: Holy god damned motherfucking shit.
TIGERBOY: James! What the hell is that thing?!
JAMES LIPTON: It's my next big movie!
HARE: Ah, it's so nice to share this little family reunion with you both. How unfortunate that it must end so quickly.
HARE: Huh?
HARE: Ohmygod.
HARE WINNINGHAM! FOR U I HAVE COME!
HARE WINNINGHAM! WITH ME U WILL GO!
HARE: Ahhh! What the fuck?! What the fuck is going on?!!
HARE WINNINGHAM. AMALTHEA COULD NOT HOLD U. BUT LEVIATHAN KNOWS A PLACE THAT CAN.
HARE: No! No! This isn't happening! Let go of me! Where are you taking me?!
WHERE AM I TAKING U???? 2 AYTCH EEE DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS.
HARE: To Hell?!! No!!! NOOOOOO!
THERE U WILL LEARN THAT ALL SINS HAVE A PRICE. 2 THE ONES WHO REMAIN, I WISH U A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
