TIGERBOY: So explain this again...how is digging through old e-mails going to help you find your Mare? KNACKS: She wrote me a couple of times just after last Christmas. If I can trace the IP address, I can find out where she sent the e-mails from. TIGERBOY: That doesn't sound very moral. Isn't that an invasion of privacy? KNACKS: You're a tiger, what would you know about it? KNACKS: I know it's a shot in the dark, but I have to try. What if she didn't just lose interest? What if something bad happened? I know my pride is on the line, but I really care about that girl...I need to at least make sure she's safe. TIGERBOY: Okay, so let's assume you can track her with that computer. Then what? Are you gonna just pick up and leave? She could be on the other side of the planet! KNACKS: I don't care. I'm gonna do what I gotta do. TIGERBOY: Fine...now can you tell where she sent the e-mails from? KNACKS: Yeah...kind of. This is weird. Every e-mail was sent from a different location. I know my Mare was a bit of a nomad, but from the looks of this, she didn't stay in any one city for more than a day. TIGERBOY: Interesting. Then where did she send you the last e-mail from? KNACKS: Tahiti! TIGERBOY: I like it when the names of places start with the same letter my name does. KNACKS: I thought you would! MEANWHILE... MISTA SNOWMAN: Waiterbuddy, before we get to the hap hap happy present...I've been meaning to ask you something. Is this a good time? WAITERBOT: No, but as it will never be, I suppose you should just get it over with. MISTA SNOWMAN: Okay, here I go! I wanted to know how you could treat Waiterbetty so badly. I mean, if even half of what I'm hearing is true, what you're doing is practically illegal. WAITERBOT: What's the problem? I figure, I have a hottie like that...it's wrong of me to not share her. WAITERBOT: Besides, it's not like you treat your wife any better than I do mine! MISTA SNOWMAN: What do you mean?! I treat Mrs. Snowman with Christmas love and holiday respect! WAITERBOT: Yeah...but from afar. I haven't seen you speak more than two words to her for over a year! Can you even remember the last time you saw her? I haven't spotted that white sack of shit in nearly a week! MISTA SNOWMAN: What are you talking about?! Of course I can remember the last time I saw her! It was in the...it was in the...ummmm... MISTA SNOWMAN: ...well it had to have been at some point recently! LATER! MARE: Oh, Knacks...I don't know if that's such a good idea... KNACKS: But Mare! I gotta find my girl! What if something terrible happened to her? Come on, there's like 80 people living in this house...surely somebody can cover for me and Tigerboy after we go. TIGERBOY: "We?" KNACKS: Mare, PLEASE! You know, for the past two years, I happily took a backseat so you and Kuse could watch your love blossom and monopolize every damn segment of our big adventure. I did that because I wanted you guys to be happy. All I ask if that you give me the same opportunity. I want to be happy, too. MARE: Good God, that was some guilt trip. KNACKS: Yeah, and need I remind you that I fucking resurrected you three years ago? MARE: Okay okay, you win! MARE: ...I just wish you were leaving the LEGO Advent Calendar in more capable hands. How they heck are we supposed to pick a replacement team from this litter? LATER! KUSE: Are they for real? How am I supposed to finish all of that by three o'clock?! It isn't humanly possible! KUSE: Fuck this, I'm getting some fucking coffee and then I'm gonna fucking drink it. MEANWHILE... KNACKS: I still can't believe Mare let us go! TIGERBOY: I still can't believe I let you sucker me into coming with you. KNACKS: Don't worry, Tigerboy! We'll be in Tahiti before you know it! TIGERBOY: Yeah, I've heard that these horse-drawn carriages have a really impressive MPH, especially when you leave out the horse. I've also heard that they can ride over water. KNACKS: I feel bad making everyone cover for us with the LEGO Calendar, but I'm sure Mare will figure something out. MEANWHILE... BOX: Man, I've always wanted this job...but this isn't quite what I had in mind. BOX: I mean, it's the frickin' LEGO Advent Calendar. LEGOTRON: And what exactly are you trying to say? BOX: LEGO drools, Playmobil rules! LEGOTRON: Hey fuck you, buddy! LEGOTRON: Time for a survey: How many people here think that Playmobil is better than LEGO? Show of heads. LEGOTRON: You're down 8-1. Zap. MEANWHILE... KUSE: OH GOD, NO! PLEASE TELL ME THAT WASN'T THE LAST OF THE COFFEE! KUSE: PLEASE, PLEASE, I SWEAR TO CHRIST, MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE INTO A HUNDRED PIECES IF I DON'T GET SOME FUCKING COFFEE INTO MY LUNGS! PLEASE, PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T JUST TAKE THE LAST OF THE COFFEE! KUSE: What are you doing? Are you giving me your cup? Seriously? KUSE: What a nice guy. I wonder what department he's from. MEANWHILE... HOLY MARY, YOU HAVE OUTDONE YOURSELF THIS TIME! MISTA SNOWMAN: WAITERBUDDY! Get over here and marvel at a Christmas miracle! You have to see what we got today! WAITERBOT: Let me guess. Is it...more flowers? No? Okay, let me try again. More flowers? Still no? Hmm...running out of options here...could it be...more flowers? MISTA SNOWMAN: No! But it's almost as good! (click here to close window)