MARE: Santa, I don't care if it's dangerous! We've got a Mare from another dimension, rookies running the Advent Calendars while Knacks and Tigerboy are off to God knows where...this year is just a complete mess. I'm going to Kuse's office and making him come home.
SANTA: Look, Mare...I know this is my first year, but I've heard a lot of stories from you guys. I know what you seem to go through every December, and it's brutal. You can't be traveling the streets, unarmed and alone. At least take one of the LEGO guys with you.
MARE: Ugh, fine. Give me the orange one.
OSWALD: Sheeeet. Did I go die and land on Cloud 9 or did that lady really just go and pick on me? I mean sheeeeeet. Feel like...man I feel like I done gone and take down the $25000 Pyramid...sheeeeeeeet.
SANTA: Just promise me you'll be careful out there, okay? Remember, you guys are my responsibility this year.
MARE: Santa, I think you're taking your role here a little too seriously, but don't worry. I'll be fine. Just make sure everyone goes and gets their Advent Calendar gifts. Do NOT let them wait all day. It's never a good idea to let them ferment for too long...
MARE: ...trust me, I've seen the kinds of things that can happen!
???????: BIG...HONE...TEXT.
MEANWHILE...
JAMES LIPTON: ...but Waiterbot, come on! Can't I at least have a strand of her hair? I will name it "Marla" and pretend it's a person!
WAITERBOT: No! What could you possibly offer me? Nothing! The answer is no!
JAMES LIPTON: Waiterbot...you might have heard a rumor that I would do anything for a strand of that magnificent damsel's hair. I'm here to tell you that this rumor is true!
WAITERBOT: Anything, huh? Hmmm.
WAITERBOT: Tell me, short one. Can you work a video camera?
LATER!
LEGOTRON: Dude, listen...maybe we got off on the wrong foot. There's no sense in us arguing if we're going to be stuck together for a few days. So, about the heads: They're mainly for cosmetic purposes. And to see what kinds of bugs crawl in and died inside the bulb covers on street lights.
BOX: Thanks, and to answer one of your questions from yesterday, the reason I wasn't born with a half-Playmobil, half-LEGO body is because God didn't want me to go though life being only 50% awesome.
LEGOTRON: Gonna let that one slide, but only that one.
BOX: I appreciate it. Glad we're buds. Let's see what the Advent Calendar has in store for us today.
BOX: Is there a problem? Why are you stalling?
LEGOTRON: Box...it looks like you're about to have the chance to prove your friendship.
BOX: Huh?
LEGOTRON: A real friend would know how to stay quiet about certain things after we get home.
BOX: Oh, Christ. Are you planning what I think you're planning?
LEGOTRON: It ain't a bridal shower, I'll tell ya that.
MEANWHILE...
KUSE: YOU CAN'T BE HERE! I could get fired!
KUSE: This company has a strict "no visitors" policy! Why did you come here?!
MARE: I came here because your family needs you back at the house. I want you to quit this job and come home!
KUSE: Mare, if I quit this job, we won't have a home!
MARE: I'm starting to think that you just consider this place the lesser of two evils. Is there a reason you don't want to come home?
KUSE: You know it's not like that! Mare, we have a son...and I don't want our son growing up in barns and garages!
MARE: Okay, Kuse...time to pull out the heavy artillery. The mega guilt. The ultimatums. I am going to verbally assault you until there's nothing left but a withered, lifeless corpse...and then I'm going to carry that corpse home so it can take care of its fucking business!
MARE: Oswald, could you give us some privacy for a moment? Go grab a cup of coffee or something.
KUSE: Why'd you bring that guy, anyway? Are you trying to make me jealous?
MEANWHILE...
JAMES LIPTON: Consider me primed and prepped! Ready to roll whenever you air, Mr. Waiterbot sir!
WAITERBOT: Okay, now when I say "action," you start recording. I don't want anything fancy. No zooms, no bippidy bops...just keep it simple. Think "newscast."
WAITERBOT: ACTION!
JAMES LIPTON: "Director" James Lipton! I shall now be known as Director James Lipton!
MEANWHILE...
OSWALD: Maaaaan, yous guys pretty wack with the caffy-juice, chu dig? Shit could not wake a jittery puppy...hear what I'm sayin'?
???????: Yes, it is rather weak. I've noticed that as well.
MEANWHILE...
GOOD GOLLY MISS MOLLY
MISTA SNOWMAN: Wait till everyone sees you! You're gonna blow their minds!
JACOB: Thanks! I'm Jacob. Who are you?
MISTA SNOWMAN: Who am I? Who am I?!
I'M SO HAPPY I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER
LATER!
BOX: Seems pretty quiet here, today.
DOCTOR: Yeah, everyone is out doing something or another. Except me, of course. I mean, who cares about me?
BOX: I care about you, Doctor. I've always been a fan of the way you...do whatever it is...that you do?
DOCTOR: Ugh. So what'd the LEGO thing give ya today? Anything good?
BOX: Oh that? The LEGO Calendar? Uh yeah...today's gift...
BOX: ...it was nothing major. Just a couple of traffic cones.
