KNACKS: Yeah, but don't forget...we're not here to have fun. We're here to find out what happened to my Mare.
TIGERBOY: I know, I know, but would you look at this place?! I mean, for December, it's pretty freakin' hopping!
TIGERBOY: I feel like we're in one of those feel-good buddy comedies, where the buddies go away for a party weekend that turns into the biggest soul search of their lives!
KNACKS: That's because you have a powerful imagination, Tigerboy.
TIGERBOY: Knacks, check it out! A real, live palm tree! Can you believe it? It's almost Christmas, and here we are, in the company of real, live palm trees!
KNACKS: Tigerboy, I know this is your first time in the tropics, but try to keep it together. We've got important stuff to do here.
TIGERBOY: Holy shit! Is this a seal? Knacks, look at this! It's a seal! It's really a seal!
KNACKS: TIGERBOY, ENOUGH! Let's go see if those pirates over there know anything.
KNACKS: Excuse me, good sirs...I'm sorry to interrupt, but we're looking for someone. She's a little taller than me, smokin' hot, blonde, and she has a light lisp that really grows on you once you've listened to it for long enough.
TIGERBOY: We got her for Christmas last year.
PIRATEGUY-1: 'Ory, mates, but this is December! Ain't gon' find that kinta tail till spring break 'round these parts!
PIRATEGUY-2: Tell me sompin' ye scallywags...arrr ya finding my eyarings innatimidatin'?
MEANWHILE...
MISTA SNOWMAN: Santa! Let me introduce to you...my very special new Christmas friend...Jacob!
JACOB: Hello, Santa. Wonderful to finally make your acquaintance. Mista Snowman has told me so much about you.
SANTA: Heh, you seem like a good kid. Glad you could join our little party.
JACOB: Oh, I'm honored, friend! I only hope that I can find a way to repay all of you for your generous friendship and hospitality.
SANTA: You can start by telling me where I can buy one of those capes!
LATER!
KNACKS: ...okay, but are you absolutely sure that you didn't see her? Like I said...little taller than me...hot...blonde...tendency to shoot laser beams from her hands...brown eyes?
RANDOM RITA: For the last time, no! Leave us be, we're trying to enjoy our vacation!
KNACKS:Sigh. Sorry to bother you, folks.
TIGERBOY: Knacks, I think this is a lost cause. Your girl isn't here. Let's just relax for an hour and then get back home.
KNACKS: Tahiti's a big place, Tigerboy. Let's see if she's by the pool.
TIGERBOY: The pool? What pool? Which one?
KNACKS: Tahiti's a big place, but it only has one pool.
MEANWHILE...
WAITERBOT: Since you've been so well behaved, I've decided to give you a present!
CHER: Are you letting me out of this stupid cage?
WAITERBOT: Ha ha, no! I'm giving you a bedpan! Stole it from the snowman, I did! Now you don't have to sleep in your liquid excrement!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Waiterbuddy! Dude you really should've come with me to the Advent Calendar yesterday! Look what you missed out on!
WAITERBOT: Wh---what?! You mean it already gave you another sentient creature? My word...Playmobil must be up for review!
MISTA SNOWMAN: His name is Jacob, and "Do You Hear What I Hear?" is his favorite Christmas song!
WAITERBOT: Which version?
MISTA SNOWMAN: Whitney Houston's.
WAITERBOT: Bah.
WAITERBOT: I'll not make the same mistake twice. Come, woman...you will go to the Advent Calendar with me. I cannot let that idiot snowman beat me there and collect yet another object with so much black market value!
CHER: Fine, but you better not be putting me on a leash or anything.
WAITERBOT: Count your lucky stars that I do not own one!
LATER!
KNACKS: I guess you were right, Tigerboy. Mare isn't in Tahiti anymore.
TIGERBOY: Sorry, Knacks. But why don't you try to make the most of this? I mean, you're still in Tahiti...why don't you go for a swim? I would, but, you know...the water would probably screw up my costume.
KNACKS: We're in Tahiti, Tigerboy. Nobody knows you here. You don't have to be a tiger today.
TIGERBOY:Hmm. Okay, watch my stuff, will ya?
KNACKS: This blows. This really, really blows. I don't even know why we came here. That was an awful lot of build for such a small payoff. Guess I'll just sit here...sad, depressed, hungry and alone.
SANTA: I can't do anything about the first three, Knacks...but I don't think you're "alone!"
KNACKS: Santa Claus?!! Holy crap, what are you doing here?!
KNACKS: Then why do you still wear the suit? Aren't you hot in that?
SANTA: Very, but I tend to get free drinks when I'm wearing this!
MEANWHILE...
LEGOTRON: You know, what you did for me yesterday...that was really cool. You're a good guy, Box.
BOX: It's no biggie. An extra head probably meant more to you than a whole LEGO guy would've meant to the rest of the house.
LEGOTRON: See, that was my philosophy all along!
LEGOTRON: I look at it like this: I can't do it for their whole bodies, but I can at least give all of these random LEGO dudes' heads a more prominent part in our continuing adventures.
LEGOTRON: Fourth wall, meet my fist.
LATER!
SANTA: So Knacks, a couple of pirates out back told me you were looking for a "hot blonde chick." I assume they meant Mare -- the one that came from last year's Advent Calendar?
KNACKS: Yeah...she's missing. I haven't heard from her in months.
SANTA: Well...I have. She passed through here a while back.
SANTA: Look Knacks, I had a lot of time to speak with Mare and learn what kind of person she was. She's a traveler, Knacks. She's the type who needs to go everywhere and see everything. It was never going to work with you two.
KNACKS: You mean she's safe? She isn't in any kind of trouble?
SANTA: I don't know where she is now, but my instincts tell me that she's doing just fine. She was just the kind of person who obsessed over finding some real purpose in this world.
KNACKS: God, I feel like such a jackass. I figured she was just silently dumping me, but I guess my pride wouldn't let me admit it. You must think I'm a total moron.
SANTA: Naw, you're doing what any guy would've done. It's okay to want closure, Knacks.
KNACKS: Thanks, Santa. Well, at least I got to see you again. Glad you're having fun out here. Tigerboy and I really should get home now.
SANTA: It's been swell seeing you, too. Give my regards to everyone. Except Doctor, because I can't remember who he is.
KNACKS: You got it, pal!
KNACKS: Hey Tigerboy! Come on, it's time to go!
TIGERBOY: What?! I haven't even had a chance to use the diving board yet!
MEANWHILE...
JACOB: Oh! Pardon me, ma'am. I didn't realize anyone was out here.
MARE: Huh? Oh, it's okay. You're the new boy, right? Jacob?
JACOB: Yes, and you must be Mare. Mista Snowman told me you were beautiful, but he didn't tell me you were a goddess!
MARE: What? Uh...thanks?
JACOB: Mista Snowman also told me that it's been a bit of a rough month for you. I'm very sorry to hear that. Don't hesitate to let me know if there's anything I can do to help.
MARE: I'll be okay. Just in a slump, I guess.
JACOB: You know, it's pretty chilly out here. I'd be happy to offer you my cape, if you feel it might keep you warm.
MARE: I'm okay...really, I am. But thank you. You're sweet.
MARE: And is that a British accent?
LATER!
WHY MUST I ENDURE SUCH COCKAMAMIE BULLSHIT DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY?!
WAITERBOT: Seriously...birds?! I came all the way down here in the freezing cold just to collect this pathetic quartet of quacking assholes?!
WAITERBOT: And why the fuck didn't you tell me that I was still holding this bedpan when we left?! Now I have to walk around in public holding a bedpan!
