CHER: Are you kidding? Just because our boys are in a tiff, doesn't mean we have to be.
MARE: Thank God. I thought I caught you giving me a dirty look yesterday.
CHER: I had something in my eye.
MARE: I can't stand seeing them like this. How are we going to get them to talk?
CHER: No clue, but we gotta figure it out. Whenever Knacks is mad, he makes this face...it's hard to explain, but it's the kind of face people make when they're pissing in the ocean and don't want anyone to notice.
MARE: You know, I kinda see it.
MARE: They're both acting like babies! I told Kuse to just make Knacks sit down so he can talk to him, but he won't do it. He thinks it's a lost cause.
CHER: I tried to talk to Knacks about it yesterday. His reaction was just about the least cute thing I've ever see him do.
MEANWHILE...
MISTA SNOWMAN: Ah hah hah hah! Good old Cap'n Claus, with magical Christmas cereal in tow!
MISTA SNOWMAN: And there they are! The red and green Crunchberries! Has there ever been more solid proof that God is benevolent?
WAITERBOT: What the fuck are you watching?
MISTA SNOWMAN: I made a compilation DVD of my favorite Christmas commercials. Right after this is the one where the Hershey's Kisses sing "We Wish You A Merry Christmas." After that, the Hess truck is back!
WAITERBOT: I've never cared for this "Cap'n Crunch" character. I find him a tad too confident.
MISTA SNOWMAN: No no, he's good! He's just like Santa in this commercial!
WAITERBOT: To me, that's like dressing one pile of shit up as another pile of shit.
LEGOTRON: Okay Waiterbot...you win. You and James can have the LEGO Advent Calendar back.
WAITERBOT: Grrrr! You hopeless imbeciles have caused me to miss the climax of the Christmas Crunch cereal commercial! I had invested so much!
LEGOTRON: Look, do you want the LEGO Calendar back, or should we just find someone else to do it?
WAITERBOT: Reverse psychology? Won't work on me, boy! I can smell your desperation from here! I'm obviously your last hope!
WAITERBOT: Do you believe this nonsense, Lipton? These two snakes couldn't handle the LEGO Advent Calendar for more than a few days! They are weak and insignificant!
JAMES LIPTON: Can I have my hat back?
LATER!
CHER: OH MY GOD, YOU ARE SO FUCKING ADORABLE. Knacks, come here, you HAVE to see this!
KNACKS: Wow, he is cute. What is that, a raccoon?
CHER: Oh my God, it is a raccoon! And look at what he's doing! He's eating cherries! That's so adorable!
CHER: I'm gonna handcuff that thing to my ankle so I'll never have to stop looking at him!
MEANWHILE...
SANTA: Hey Snowman, I have a question...
MISTA SNOWMAN: Not now, Santa! I'm watching you on DVD!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Look, there you are! That rotten Barney thought he was going to trick Fred by dressing up as you, but you were already there!
SANTA: Okay, whatever. Can you tell me where the bathroom is in this place?
MISTA SNOWMAN: It's out in the backyard. Mare can't sleep in the same space as toilets for some reason.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Ooooh...we're almost up to the part where you make Fred give Barney the Pebbles anyway. What were you thinking, Santa?
MEANWHILE...
JAMES LIPTON: I really missed this place! Didn't you miss this place, Tigerboy?
WAITERBOT: Stop calling me Tigerboy. You know I am Waiterbot.
JAMES LIPTON: Nope, you're Tigerboy, and you will continue to be Tigerboy until I get my hat back.
WAITERBOT: I am Waiterbot!!
WAITERBOT: Hmmm, so I guess that weird culinary guy is going to be today's gift? Didn't we have another LEGO idiot just like him a few years ago?
WAITERBOT: Tell me your name, boy.
FOOTREST: I'm Footrest.
WAITERBOT: We already have a Footrest. You're George.
GEORGE: Shit.
MEANWHILE...
SANTA:WHAT THE FUCK?!!
SANTA: Who the fuck are you?! Why did you kill that poor little lion?!! Put the spear down and your hands up, villain!
