MARE: I can't believe it. Santa-X was telling the truth. There really was a killer clown.
SANTA: Mare, you had to see this guy. It took all I had to contain him. Fucker sprayed me with nose energy, and when I finally tackled him down after an hour-long chase, he started biting me!
SANTA: Who do you suppose he is? I'm assuming he works with those evil sisters of yours.
MARE: No idea. Honestly, this isn't Claire's style. I could maybe see Hare hiring someone to kill a few animals as part of some voodoo ritual, but this just doesn't add up.
MARE: We're going to have to figure out a way to make him talk. We need to know why he came here, and who he's working with.
SANTA: Mare, trust me...he ain't talking. I treated his balls like a balloon animal, and still, nothing.
MARE: I'll think of something.
LEGOTRON: Mare, with all due respect...what the fuck is wrong with you? It's bad enough that we haven't dismembered Santa-X, but you're going to let this clown live, too? He's a murderer! He killed two lions and one of our elephants! You know how expensive elephants are!
WAITERBOT: I hate to say it, but I'm with the totem pole. It'd be insane to let that clown live.
MARE: Guys, please! I know you think I'm just being a pushover, but I'm not. We have to find out who he's with...that's what's most important right now.
KNACKS: Okay guys, what's the verdict? Imprisonment or death?
MARE: We decided on imprisonment, at least for now.
WAITERBOT: We did not!
KNACKS: Mare, are you sure about this? A clown who spears little animals and has the power of nose energy? Is it even safe to keep him alive?
MARE: Knacks, I know what you mean, and it wasn't an easy decision, but we need information.
KNACKS: Okay, but at least listen to my pitch on why we should kill him, first...
KNACKS: See, what I think is, we can't let him live. He's too dangerous. For all we know, he's got a telepathic connection to Claire and is silently leading her here right now. Remember how she did that when she was trapped in that giant block of magic ice?
MARE: Uh huh, that's good Knacks, yes, yes...
KNACKS: So what do you think? Can we kill him or not?
MARE: I agree, Knacks, that's good, yeah....
KNACKS: Mare? Are you even listening to me?
MARE: Uh huh, I agree Knacks. I'm with you.
KNACKS: What the fuck do you keep looking at?
MARE: OH MY GOD, CHER! Who IS that little guy? He's adorable!
CHER: He's my little raccoon! We got him from the Advent Calendar!
MARE: Oh my GOD, I want one!!!
MARE: Can I hold him? Please let me hold him!
KNACKS: Glad to see that you've got yer priorities in order there, oh holy one.
KUSE: Hssxxlllo, what do you make of all this?
HSSXXLLLO: The raccoon? Fucking adorable, it can't be denied.
KUSE: I mean the killer clown.
HSSXXLLLO: Oh.
HSSXXLLLO: Well, there is one thing I noticed. Did you catch that our red-nosed friend over there only went after the circus animals? We've got a yard full of deer, unicorns and other critters that would've been far easier for him to kill. Why go after the circus animals?
KUSE: Maybe he's strictly a big game hunter? He thinks deer and unicorns are too easy?
HSSXXLLLO: Could be, or it could be something else.
HSSXXLLLO: I'll see what I can dig up.
KUSE: Please do. I want to know more about this clown. I'm counting on you, Hssxxlllo.
HSSXXLLLO: When have I ever let you down?
HSSXXLLLO: I mean, besides that one time?
LATER!
JAMES LIPTON: Can you believe it, Tigerboy? A killer clown, right there in our own backyard circus prison!
WAITERBOT: What did I tell you?! Stop calling me Tigerboy! And do not mention that clown, I'm tired of talking about him.
JAMES LIPTON: Clown clown clown clown clown.
WAITERBOT: I said stop it!
JAMES LIPTON: What are you building, there? Is that some kind of LEGO hotplate?
WAITERBOT:No, you idiot! Are you blind? These are obviously the props of a would-be street performer.
JAMES LIPTON: That's a stretch.
WAITERBOT: Here, I will show you...
WAITERBOT: You see? I am a street peformer! I am armed with a small stage to stand upon so I can perform in clear view of my audience, and a pair of colorful, handheld discs with which to punctuate the allusions brought forth by my interpretive dance.
JAMES LIPTON: I was so wrong!
WAITERBOT: All I need is oral herpes and a bucket for donations, and I'm set.
MEANWHILE...
CHER: Knacks, you might want to come over here. I think today's gift is my baby raccoon's giant mother. She looks pissed!
CHER: ...Knacks?
KNACKS: Ridiculous. This is totally ridiculous.
CHER: Ugh, please don't tell me you're in another one of your moods.
KNACKS: Is this all there is, Cher? Life on the run, and Advent Calendars with demon body parts all over them? I'm tired of this!
CHER: Knacks, honey, I love you, but you think too much.
KNACKS: Well somebody has to!
CHER: Can't we just sit and relax and play with raccoons like a normal couple?
KNACKS: Sorry baby, but I've made my decision...
KNACKS: I'm going after Hare and Claire. This bullshit has gotta stop.
MEANWHILE...
MARE: Natives are getting restless in here, Kuse. I think it's time we came up with a plan.
KUSE: No plans...let's just wait this out. Things will end up a lot worse if we jump into something without exactly knowing what's happening, first.
MARE: Kuse, where are you going? We should talk about this!
KUSE:No, Mare! Just leave it alone! I'm telling you, you'll only make things worse!
MARE: Fine then! Just walk away! Walk away like you always do!
MARE: Happy Fucking Hanukkah.
MARE: Oh well, at least I still have you, Mr. Elephant.
