MISTA SNOWMAN: Of course, Waiterbot! It's a great fox! I feel so lucky that the Advent Calendar gave it to me and James and Santa today!
WAITERBOT: That is not a great fox. It's a horrible fox! I bet it can't do any tricks!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Well, it doesn't look like YOU got anything better from YOUR Advent Calendar, pal.
WAITERBOT: Are you kidding? This assortment of twelve nondescript glass jugs is one of 2008's hottest gifts!
WAITERBOT: Can we trade presents?
JAMES LIPTON: Ted, come here for a second...I want to show you my demon heads.
TED: I'm sure they're very nice, but I can't see much with this bag over my head.
JAMES LIPTON: Can't you just take it off?
TED: Waiterbot glued it on. :(
KUSE: Okay everyone! Get up and GET OUT!
KUSE: Mare and I need some private time! We're making a baby!
WAITERBOT: What?! Is he out of his mind? Does he honestly expect all of us to go outside just so he can bang his woman? This is a circus, not the rat-infested dorms of Syracuse University!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Come on, Mr. Fox! We gotta play outside while Mr. Kuse impregnates Mrs. Mare!
WAITERBOT: Snowman, what is WRONG with you?! We don't have to leave! This is our house, too!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Don't listen to him, Mr. Fox! He's a well-known cockblocker!
WAITERBOT: Paul, can you believe this? That idiot Kuse expects us to sit outside -- in the cold -- just so he can screw!
PAUL: Yup, and we should let him. It is Christmas, after all.
WAITERBOT: What is WRONG with you people?! Everyone here is insane!
WAITERBOT: Well then FINE! I guess I'll just go outside and sit in a pile of hay until somebody tells me I'm "allowed" back in again! SOUNDS FAIR TO ME!
SANTA: Hey Waiterbot...we have the same shirt.
WAITERBOT: Wrong! Mine is better!
LATER!
MARE: I love it when you take charge. Thanks for clearing out the circus, Kuse.
KUSE: No problem, babe. What we're about to do really isn't meant for public consumption.
MARE: Don't you love Christmas trees, Kuse? I mean, look at this one. Even though it's all burnt and smelly, it still looks beautiful!
KUSE: Yes...I agree...Christmas trees FTW. Can we fuck now?
MARE: Not yet! I planned a little special something for us, first...
MARE: ...a romantic dinner for two! It'll be just like when we were dating!
KUSE: Oh. Great.
MARE: Look, I prepared all of your favorite foods! I even made antipasto!
KUSE: Well this is just swell, Mare. It's all very nice. Everything looks great.
MARE: I know! I'm a terrific cook!
MARE: Heh, remember when my mother came to visit, and we had antipasto for dinner? I don't think I've had antipasto since then. My God, that means I haven't had antipasto for over two years now!
KUSE: Yeah, your mother was a really nice lady. I liked her a lot.
MARE: What are you talking about, Kuse? You hated my mother, and she hated you! Don't you remember?
KUSE: Oh, oh...right.
MARE: What's the matter, Kuse? You've barely touched the antipasto.
KUSE: It looks delicious, Mare, but the thing is...I kind of had antipasto yesterday. Antipasto isn't really one of those "twice in two days" kinds of foods, you know?
MARE: You had it yesterday? Where was I?
KUSE: I think you were in the shower.
MARE: Okay, if you don't want antipasto, I have an extra special surprise for you!
KUSE: More food? Mare, I appreciate it, but this isn't necessary...
MARE: Hah, you won't be saying that in a minute! Just sit tight, I'll be right back!
KUSE: ...okay.
KUSE: I hate foreplay.
MEANWHILE...
WAITERBOT: A travesty! It is nothing less than a travesty that we are all outside!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Waiterbot, will you give it a rest? Being outside for a little while is NO BIG DEAL! Outside is where the magic happens!
WAITERBOT: Bah. Tell me, how are we to know that there isn't some kind of horrible parasite spreading around? If there was, we'd be much safer inside the circus tent!
BOX: Well, this is awkward.
LEGOTRON: What, all of us trying to squeeze into the backyard like cattle?
BOX: No, I mean my parents making me stand outside so they can do the nasty. They could've at least come up with a cover story.
JAMES LIPTON: Ted, I can't decide which of these two demon heads is my favorite. Is it this one, or that one?
TED: Can't you just love them both equally?
JAMES LIPTON: Holy shit, that's brilliant! Thank you Ted!
TED: Not a problem.
JANET: Ewww, that dead burnt deer is still out here! Why didn't anyone bury it or something?
MAN EATING CHICKEN: I can't answer that. All I can really do is eat chicken.
MEANWHILE...
MARE:Ohhhh Kuuuuuse! Look what I ordered for us!
MARE: SUSHI! Yes, that's right -- our old favorite is BACK IN BUSINESS! Ready to get RAW, honey?
KUSE: Sushi? I think I'll pass.
MARE: What?!! You LOVE sushi! Sushi is our thing! Kuse, I ordered this special just for us!
KUSE: Mare, I'm not eating raw fish. There's no way I'm touching that stuff.
MARE: I see.
MARE: WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY HUSBAND?!
KUSE: AHHHHH! What the fuck are you doing?!!
MARE: The real Kuse would never turn down sushi. Now get up, nice and slow, and take off your helmet.
??????: Ah, so the jig is up? Okay Mare...have it your way.
MEANWHILE...
WAITERBOT: Did you guys hear that? It sounded like an explosion!
WAITERBOT: Exactly what kind of monkey sex are those two having in there?!
KUSE: WAITERBOT! WHERE'S MARE?!
WAITERBOT: Kuse?! What are you doing out here? You're supposed to be inside, boning Mare!
KUSE: Oh fuck! NO!
KUSE: Look everyone I don't have a lot of time -- but the guy you thought was me, isn't me! He's a ringer! And he's going to try to kill us!
WAITERBOT: Do you honestly expect me to believe that you're---
WAITERBOT: AHHHHHH! Now what the fuck is this about?!
CLAIRE: Hello, boys!
HARE: We're baaaaack!
KNACKS: Shit, not them again!
KUSE: Fucking A!
CLAIRE: If you guys want to get into this tent, you'll have to go through us.
HARE: And we hurt.
KNACKS: Kuse, what the fuck are we going to do?! Mare's in there!
KUSE: I'm thinking, Knacks! I'm thinking!
MEANWHILE...
MARE: Now turn around nice and slow, whoever you are.
??????: ARE YOU SURE THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT?
MARE: Yes, I'm sure! Show me your face, imposter!
??????: VERY WELL...
MARE: OH MY GOD!
MARE:WHAT ARE YOU?!
ARCANO: PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, MARE. I AM ARCANO.
ARCANO: I TRIED TO MAKE THIS EASY FOR YOU, WINNINGHAM. BUT, IF YOU'D PREFER TO DO THINGS THE HARD WAY...
