WAITERBOT: I can't believe I escaped from the circus without waking anybody up! Another victory for my light feet! Now I can snatch today's gift and not have to listen to Lipton spout off about his stupid "hat."
WAITERBOT: And then I can---hey wait a second.
WAITERBOT: What the hell?
WAITERBOT: That filthy, treacherous, cocksucking toad!
JAMES LIPTON: Gooooood morning, Waiterbot! Do you like the signs I made? Do they make you want to give me my hat back?
MEANWHILE...
MISTA SNOWMAN: Is it done yet is it done yet is it done yet???
HSSXXLLLO: Yup. You're all set. I installed InterVideo WinDVD 7, so you should have no problem watching movies now. Just don't frig with Knacks's private folders...you know how he gets.
MISTA SNOWMAN: This is so seriously exciting! Thank you SOOO much Hssxxlllo!
HSSXXLLLO: You're welcome, but that's not how you pronounce my name.
MISTA SNOWMAN: I don't care -- I have movies now!!
MEANWHILE...
JAMES LIPTON: Hat?
WAITERBOT: Leave me alone! Can't you see that I'm busy constructing today's gift? It appears to be some kind of LEGO woman!
JAMES LIPTON: HAT. HAAAAAAAAAAAT.
WAITERBOT: No!
WAITERBOT: Me and my new LEGO woman are going home now. Do not follow us. I must instruct her on the way things will be from this point forth.
JAMES LIPTON: HAT. HAT. HAAAAT. HAAAAAAAAAT.
WAITERBOT: Stop it stop it STOP IT!
MEANWHILE...
MISTA SNOWMAN: Yes, YES! The classroom scene! The unsung big moment from A Christmas Story!
MISTA SNOWMAN: HA HA! Look at those kids! They're gonna spook the teacher with their dime store monster fangs!
MISTA SNOWMAN: WHOOP -- here she comes! Mrs. School Teacher isn't going to like this one bit!
MISTA SNOWMAN: THE MONEY SHOT! You show her, kids! You are a generation of rebellion!
BEST SCENE EVA
LATER!
WAITERBOT: Gah! This is even worse than those pro-James/Hat signs!
WAITERBOT: Lipton, is this your work? Did you kill one of my slave lionesses?
JAMES LIPTON: I would never! I'm a pacifist. I've told you this before!
WAITERBOT: Well somebody had to do it.
WAITERBOT: It was you, wasn't it? I can smell your guilt from here!
SANTA-X: It wasn't me, I swear to God! Some kind of freaky CLOWN hopped out from nowhere and stabbed the thing to death! I had nothing to do with this!
WAITERBOT: Ha! A freaky clown did it, you say? Oh golly gee then, I guess I should just accept this ridiculous story at face value! Oh a CLOWN did it? Of course!
MEANWHILE...
KNACKS: I have no clue what this is, do you?
CHER: Big basket...kind of like a magazine rack...with hay and grass patches nestled inside?
KNACKS: Yeah, but you're just describing it. What is it, exactly?
CHER: I dunno. Doubt it's important, though.
CHER: You seem a little moody. Still upset about Kuse?
KNACKS: I think I'm mostly upset that I don't feel more like Kuse. After all, it's only a matter of time before Hare and Claire return with their legion of giant crabs to finish what they started last summer.
CHER: I thought you wanted to pretend that everything was "hunky dory?"
KNACKS: Honestly, I'm still pissed that I ever even used the term "hunky dory." The fuck is wrong with me?
CHER: It'll be okay, Knacks. Like you said, everything always turns out okay.
KNACKS: I hope I was right.
KNACKS: Let's go home. I think I need to blog off some of this excess stress.
CHER: That's what most normal people would do.
MALFORMO: BRAAAAINSSSSS!
DEATHRA: We're not zombies, you asshole. We're more like demons.
MALFORMO: So that means we can't like eating brains?
DEATHRA: No, we can...we just have to express it with a little more flair.
DEATHRA: I'll explain it to you while we settle in for hibernation.
MALFORMO: Any particular reason the boss wanted us to hide in the December 8th gift box?
DEATHRA: Nah...the choice seemed pretty random.
DEATHRA: The important thing is that we remember what to do once those idiots open it.
MALFORMO: Oh don't worry...I remember.
MALFORMO: So anyway, tell me more about demon-brain etiquette?
LATER!
MARE: Good God, this is horrible!
MARE: Who could've done such a thing?!
WAITERBOT: Uh, your sisters somehow spring to mind.
MARE: No way...why would they come all the way here just to kill some poor little lion and not us?
WAITERBOT: Maybe they thought they were killing Tigerboy.
MARE: And you're sure it wasn't Santa-X?
WAITERBOT: Pretty sure, he seems fairly well-confined in there. But the asshole claims that some, quote, freaky clown, end quote, did the deed. An obvious ruse.
WAITERBOT: What are we going to do here, Mare? Does this mean we'll have to abandon the circus and settle on another dank, reeking cesspool to serve as our hideout?
MARE: No...not yet. Let's just see how all of this plays out.
MARE: But let's be careful. Everyone keep their eyes and ears open. If you spot anything shady, tell me immediately.
MISTA SNOWMAN: HA HA, Mrs. School Teacher ain't having none of that!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Ewww! That's disgusting! The kids just had those things in their mouths...how could she touch them like that?! EWWW!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Oh man, there it is. The ol' GAGS & PRANKS drawer!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Oh God, I WANT chattering teeth. I REALLY, REALLY want chattering teeth.
