KUSE: I know I've been kind of incapacitated for a while, but I'm back and I'm ready to take charge! Mare's told me a bit what's been going on, but I'd like to meet with each of you individually to get the whole scoop.
MARE: You sure you're up to this, honey? Maybe you should spend a little time getting reacclimatized first?
KUSE: No way Mare, I've wasted enough time. Don't worry, I'll be fine.
LATER!
KUSE: James...Waiterbot...hope you've both been well. Mare tells me that you've been running the LEGO Advent Calendar this year. She also tells me that you've been bickering like a couple of third grade simps.
WAITERBOT: That's pure hogwash! Your wife is a lying sack of pigs!
JAMES LIPTON: Actually, Mr. Kuse, you are not entirely incorrect. It's true that Mr. Waiterbot and I have bickered from time to time, but it's all his fault! HE WON'T GIVE ME MY HAT BACK!
KUSE: Okay, okay, settle down. There's no reason that we can't come up with a solution without blowing our tops. James, let's start by hearing your side of the story.
JAMES LIPTON: My side? I just told you my side! HE WON'T GIVE ME MY HAT BACK!
WAITERBOT: More hogwash! Kuse, let the record show that the "hat" James refers to is actually a plastic red cup. And it was never his to begin with!
KUSE: I see. Well, here's what I'm thinking. Waiterbot, you already got a bunch of other things from the LEGO Advent Calendar, right? So even if it's technically yours, I think it's fair for James to at least lay claim to one tiny little LEGO coffee cup.
WAITERBOT: Fair?! You call that fair?!
WAITERBOT: Well I do not!
LATER!
KUSE: Hey Knacks! How's it going, buddy? Let's catch up!
KNACKS: Don't you "how's it going buddy" me, Kuse. That whole silent treatment stunt you pulled...I think it's bullshit.
KUSE: Huh?
KNACKS: See here's the thing, "buddy." You spent a heck of a lot of time negotiating yourself into our family's "leader" position, and I was fine with that, because even though it meant that we didn't get to hang out as much, I thought that you took the role seriously and really wanted to help everyone. But this? This was totally bullshit.
KUSE: What are you talking about?!
KNACKS: What I'm saying is, it seems kind of rotten that you take center stage whenever it's convenient, only to clam up and run the second you have to take your job a tiny bit more seriously. We really needed a leader last summer, Kuse. Where were you?
KUSE: Knacks, Knacks, you don't understand! They broke my spirit! They destroyed the house I sacrificed so much to buy for us, and they did it using gigantic, mutant crabs from God knows where! We all have our buttons, and apparently, those were mine!
KNACKS: Whatever. Have fun playing "leader" now that we've settled quite safety into this weird old circus. I'm just curious to see if you'll forget how to talk the second Mare's sisters show up again.
KUSE: Knacks, don't be like this!
KNACKS: Cher, you ready? Let's go get today's gift.
KUSE: Knacks, wait! You can't leave it like this! We have to talk this over!
KUSE: Knacks?
KUSE: ....
LATER!
JAMES LIPTON: Well, what are you waiting for? Aren't you going to do what Kuse said? You're supposed to give me my hat back!
WAITERBOT: Will you keep quiet? Some of us are working!
JAMES LIPTON: Oooh, is that today's gift? It looks like a new LEGO guy! Can we share him?
WAITERBOT: NO we cannot share him! We both understood that the spoils of this gig would be divided by a strict matter of "finders keepers!" This is mine unless I say otherwise!
JAMES LIPTON: He looks like a fireman. I've never seen a fireman before.
WAITERBOT: Appearances can be deceiving! This man is my personal footrest!
WAITERBOT: Do you have a name, kid?
GEORGE: Sure do. It's George.
WAITERBOT: Not anymore! You are now "Footrest."
FOOTREST: Shit.
MEANWHILE...
....
....
....
CLAIRE: So Hare, what do you think?
CLAIRE: The big boss crafted me a new set of legs! I can walk again!
HARE: But he didn't give you a second arm?
CLAIRE: He said I have to earn it.
HARE: I grow tired of this waiting game, sister. When can we strike?
CLAIRE: Patience, Hare. Besides, in a way, we've already struck!
CLAIRE: Hahahahahahahah!
MEANWHILE...
KNACKS: Did you hear that?
CHER: Hear what?
KNACKS: Never mind.
CHER: So you gave it to Kuse pretty good, earlier.
KNACKS: Yep.
CHER: I had no idea you were so mad at him!
KNACKS: All I know is, the second he started talking again...RAGE!
KNACKS: I just don't think it's right that he takes a powder whenever the shit hits the fan, but wants to tell everybody what to do when there's nothing to do. It's annoyingly selective.
KNACKS: Like, do we really need his guidance on how to run an Advent Calendar? We've been doing it just fine all month without his "guidance."
CHER: Good Christ, that's the third deer in a row!
KNACKS: I think this one is more of a doe.
CHER: But does are deer, right?
KNACKS: No clue. Maybe we should ask Kuse.
MEANWHILE...
MARE: Bad day?
KUSE: Not the greatest.
MARE: Give it time, Kuse. Things will get back to normal.
KUSE: Knacks hates me. He thinks I faked the whole thing just to get out of having to deal with your sisters and the giant crabs. He wishes I never started talking again.
MARE: He doesn't hate you, Kuse. You know Knacks always had a weird way of saying "I missed you."
KUSE: No, this was real, honest hatred. I don't know what I'm going to do.
MARE: Aww, come on. Let's figure out some way to cheer you up. You want some ice cream?
KUSE: No.
MARE: Wanna watch some TV?
KUSE: No.
IS SOMEBODY SAD?
He needs poinsettia!
MEANWHILE...
SANTA-X: You sick fuck! What the fuck is wrong with you?
SANTA-X: God damn it, even I don't do shit like that! You are seriously fucked up!
