KNACKS: Oh, I was reading one of those sad articles about people who lose relatives and then spend the rest of their lives wishing they'd said "I love you" more often.
CHER: Morbid! Love you too, Knacks!
KNACKS: Wow, today's box is enormous!
CHER: Think we're going for four deer in a row?
KNACKS: Only one way to find out...
MEANWHILE...
WAITERBOT: Ha! Puny insect, you can't reach! If only you were seven feet taller, then this "hat" would be yours!
JAMES LIPTON: No fair no fair NO FAIR! Give it to me! I deserve it!
WAITERBOT: You deserve nothing but torment and agony for the rest of your days.
HSSXXLLLO: See guys? It's a little complicated, but if you connect all of these weird sites together, it seems pretty clear that Hare and Claire aren't acting alone.
MARE: But why would they advertise that fact online?
HSSXXLLLO: I dunno. They're weird.
KUSE: Eh, I'm not sure, Hssxxlllo. This doesn't feel like solid proof to me. We've got enough to worry about without adding unproven theories to the pot.
MEANWHILE...
KNACKS: Okay, well, this isn't good.
CHER: Just so we're clear, they weren't supposed to be in the box, right?
KNACKS: Definitely not.
KNACKS: Cher, make a run for it. I'll hold them off for as long as I can.
CHER: Are you kidding?! I'm not gonna just leave you here!
KNACKS: I knew you wouldn't. I probably wouldn't have said that if I thought you would.
CHER: Stand back, honey. Let's see our would-be assailants match wits with HAND ENERGY.
KNACKS: Yes, yes! You just nailed the first appearance of hand energy for the 2008 season!
CHER: You're so lucky to have me.
CHER: LEAVE US ALONE, GREEN PEOPLE!
DEATHRA: Ahhhhhh!
DEATHRA: And by "ahhhhh" I of course mean "haaaaaa." Hand energy doesn't work on demons from Hell! Everybody knows that!
MALFORMO: Let's eat them, Deathra.
DEATHRA: Oh, if only we could. The master has bigger plans for these two tricks.
MEANWHILE...
HSSXXLLLO: Okay, what do you say to that then, Kuse? An official letter from my homeworld's research bureau, clearly stating that a demon god named Arcano exists and is at large.
KUSE: Please. Give me two seconds and I'll find a site that validates Bigfoot. Doesn't mean he's working with Hare and Claire.
HSSXXLLLO: Look, I just think it would be wise for us to cover our bases. According to everything I've read, this "Arcano" character could--
JAMES LIPTON: GIVE ME THE STUPID HAT, YOU JERK!
WAITERBOT: Let me think about it. Okay I've thought about it. Nah.
JAMES LIPTON: WAITERBOT!
MARE: Can you believe these two? They're still fighting over that stupid cup!
KUSE: Jesus Christ. We really don't have time for this shit right now.
KUSE: Waiterbot, James, cut it out! We're trying to figure out what Hare and Claire and up to! We need to concentrate!
WAITERBOT: Don't talk to me as if I was some sickly child. I am older than you!
WAITERBOT: Besides, it's James's fault. If he were eleven feet taller, he'd have his hat and everything would be okay!
JAMES LIPTON: KUSE! MARE! Make him give me my hat back! He won't listen to reason!
KUSE: Okay, that's it. We're all under a lot of stress and you guys really aren't helping. Go sit on opposite sides of the circus and don't get up until I tell you to. I'll find a temp team to handle the LEGO Advent Calendar.
KUSE: And will either of you get dessert tonight? The answer is no.
MEANWHILE...
MALFORMO: You are edible.
KNACKS: AHHH! Cher, this green guy is going to eat me!
MALFORMO: You are a talking snack.
KNACKS: AHHHH!
CHER: Put my boyfriend down, you brute! Don't make me zap you!
DEATHRA: Stupid child! We've already established that your "zapping" can do us no harm! You are helpless! Helpless!
DEATHRA:Helpel-- ...huh?
SANTA: You motherfucking zombie trash!
KNACKS: Oh my God! It's Santa!
CHER: Santa Claus!
SANTA: I'm trying to sleep and all I hear are shitty zombies talking smack! Well no more! Santa can and will kill for peace and quiet!
LATER!
BOX: Wow, can you believe it? You and me, taking care of business at the LEGO Advent Calendar. Just like old times!
LEGOTRON: The only reason I agreed to do this was for the chance to score a new head. Today better be one of those put-'em-together "LEGO guy" gift days.
BOX: Ouch...sorry about that, Legotron.
LEGOTRON: Oh for the love of God, what the frig? A lousy tree? We came all the way down here for a lousy LEGO tree?!
BOX: Let's build it.
LEGOTRON: Why bother? What possible use could we or anyone else ever have for a LEGO tree?
BOX: We can build it and carve dirty limericks about Cher into the bark.
LEGOTRON: That's just mean.
BOX: Well, it's oddly shaped and a little blocky, but I guess...it's a tree!
LEGOTRON: Gah. It looks like a prop from a middle school drama class's production of Tarzan.
BOX: What's that white thing on top of it?
LEGOTRON: I don't know. Some bullshit.
LEGOTRON: Wait, it's a cat. Cat's putting on quite a show for me up here.
LEGOTRON: I've really never been fond of cats.
MEANWHILE...
KNACKS: Holy Christmas, that was amazing!
CHER: Santa...that was some serious MMA shit right there.
SANTA: Sorry if I got a little crazy there, kids. I'm just so sick of zombie assholes raining on everybody's parade.
KNACKS: But Santa, how can you be here? You weren't supposed to come out until Christmas Eve. Doesn't this break one of those weird Playmobil rules Mare always talks about?
SANTA: How the fuck should I know?! I've been in a box!
