ROBOCLOWN: ...so why don't you just tell him, Hssxxlllo? What's the worst that could happen?
HSSXXLLLO: Uh, he could kick me in the stomach? Never talk to me again? Spraypaint nasty limericks on my car?
ROBOCLOWN: That's Mista Snowman's car, Hssxxlllo. Don't piss him off.
HSSXXLLLO: I mean, Jet could just be thinking of me as a "buddy." It wouldn't be the first time that I've read too much into the enthusiasm with which someone said "hello" to me.
ROBOCLOWN: Well, it's a controversial path you're hopping down, but I still think it'd be better if you were direct and honest.
HSSXXLLLO: Easy for you to say. You don't have to tell the random guy from the St. Lukosville Skate Park that you're crushing on him.
ROBOCLOWN: No, I can safely say that I would never find myself in that particular situation.
HSSXXLLLO: I don't think I can do it, Roboclown. I wish there was some gesture I could make...something that would give him a hint, but leave me some wiggle room to pretend that he's got it all wrong.
ROBOCLOWN: Hmmm. A gesture. That's a tough one.
HSSXXLLLO: Yeah, I can't think of anything. My brain is totally fried.
ROBOCLOWN: Maybe you could send him flowers?
HSSXXLLLO: At those prices?!
MEANWHILE...
WAITERBOT: What a pigsty! I refuse to drown in this mess any longer! LEGO people...clean this place up!
UNCLE MILTON: Awww, come on! Do we really have to?
WAITERBOT: Yes, Uncle Milton -- you must!
WAITERBOT: You see, Charles? Using the proper motivational skills, there is nothing I cannot make others do for me.
SMITH: It's really impressive, sir.
WAITERBOT: Fuck you, Charles.
WAITERBOT: I'm going down to my secret lair. There I shall celebrate the new heights of my mental acumen with coffee and crullers.
SMITH: Have fun down there, sir.
WAITERBOT: Do not patronize me!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Hi!
WAITERBOT: ....
MISTA SNOWMAN: I said hi!
WAITERBOT: ....
WAITERBOT: Snowman...the surprise singing thing...it's so played.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Oh I know! But I'm not here to sing....I want to interview you! I am now an interviewer!
WAITERBOT: An interview with Waiterbot, huh? Well, I can't say that I haven't had offers.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Great! My first question: Do you believe in God?
WAITERBOT: God? Eh. I can't say that I do if you mean "God" as a literal, tangible being who walks among the cosmos to judge and guide us. As a more abstract deity -- a collection of morals manifested in the image of a great and powerful being....perhaps I would concede that much.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Neat answer, Waiterbot!
WAITERBOT: I've put serious thought into this.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Okay next question! Global warming: Real problem or overhyped nonsense?
MISTA SNOWMAN: I know it isn't an easy question, but they can't all be underhand pitches, Waiterbot.
WAITERBOT: ....
MISTA SNOWMAN: Waiterbot?
WAITERBOT: ....
WAITERBOT: CHARLES YOU FUCK! Stand up and put your hat on! You are on duty!
LATER!
HSSXXLLLO: Hi Jet!
JET: Hi Hssxxlllo, you're right on time!
HSSXXLLLO: I know! I really feel that punctuality is of utmost importance.
JET: LOL, I too think that punctuality is severely underrated!
HSSXXLLLO: Listen Jet, I kinda wanted to talk to you. It's sort of a touchy subject, and believe me, the last thing I'd ever want to do is offend you. But I feel like I have to say it, so, damn it, I'm gonna say it.
JET: Hssxxlllo, before you do, I have HUGE news!
HSSXXLLLO: Huh? What do you mean?
JET: I ran into some friends of yours!
CLAIRE: Sup, Hssxxlllo?
HARE: Are you still sacrificing three frogs per night, in accordance with the tribal pact of Amalthea?
HSSXXLLLO: CLAIRE?!! HARE?!!
JET: They said you'd be surprised!
HSSXXLLLO: Jet, what the fuck are you doing?! Get the hell out of there! Those two are evil...they're murderers!
HSSXXLLLO: Jet, run! RUN!!!
JET: I uh...I thought you guys said you were friends with Hssxxlllo?
CLAIRE: Let me handle this, kid.
CLAIRE: Look Hssxxlllo, you have every right to be suspicious, but I swear, Hare and I mean you and your friends no harm. We've changed. We just want to come visit you guys, let bygones be bygones, and have a few beers or something.
CLAIRE: Give me your address?
HSSXXLLLO: Forget it, Claire! Do you really think I'm that stupid? Put Jet back on!
CLAIRE: Gah! You know what your problem is? You trust too little!
HSSXXLLLO: Just put Jet back on!
HSSXXLLLO: Jet, seriously, I know they're smooth talkers, but you've gotta believe me...Hare and Claire are bad news. You wouldn't believe the stories I could tell you.
JET: I don't know, Hssxxlllo...they've been perfectly nice and respectable to me.
HSSXXLLLO: You mean to tell me that they haven't maimed or killed anyone there? Give me a break, Jet! I know how they operate!
JET: Well, since you mentioned it...
JET: ...they did kind of kill everyone else at the skate park. But it was all a big misunderstanding! Once things settled down and we started talking, they've been nothing but love and sweetness!
JET: Hssxxlllo, I'll level with you. I don't have a car. I don't even have a license. But I really want to see you, and these girls are offering me a lift. It's your decision.
HSSXXLLLO: Ugh! I can't believe this!
JET: I know, I know. It's like we were both saying yesterday...nothing can ever be easy.
HSSXXLLLO: Hmmmmm...
HSSXXLLLO: Jet, hold on a second, okay?
JET: Sure!
HSSXXLLLO: Hey guys, I have...well, I sort of have a weird and insane question for you.
WAITERBOT: We heard everything, you rat! You dare think we're going to give HARE AND CLAIRE our address, just so you can play footsie with some mud-encrusted backwoods hippie fuck? The nerve of you to even ask!
HSSXXLLLO: But Waiterbot!
WAITERBOT: But nothing! Need I remind you that I just had the LEGO guys clean this place?
ROBOCLOWN: Waiterbot, I think you're forgetting something. Hare and Claire know Arcano.
WAITERBOT: Yeah...and that's supposed to be a good thing?
ROBOCLOWN: They might be the only way for us to find Kuse, Mare and Knacks.
WAITERBOT: Kuse. Mare.
WAITERBOT: Knacks.
WAITERBOT: Okay Hssxxlllo, give them our address. But I swear...one false move, and I will break your boyfriend's neck, and then I will stew his corpse in salted water until I find it edible!
HSSXXLLLO: Oh my God, thank you Waiterbot! Thank you both!!!
