WAITERBOT: You know Charles, I've always considered myself as a fairly "hip" and "with it" kind of cat.

SMITH: Your point, sir?


WAITERBOT: I want to kill them.


JET: So what do you want to do today, Hssxxlllo?

HSSXXLLLO: I don't know...you decide!

JET: Hmm. Let's so something Christmassy.

HSSXXLLLO: Okay!


HSSXXLLLO: Unfortunately, the only mildly Christmas-related thing we have is this tree. And it isn't even decorated.

JET: Oof. That won't work.

HSSXXLLLO: Nah, I guess it won't. Sorry.


HSSXXLLLO: We could always watch some of Mista Snowman's Christmas DVDs on the laptop, though!

JET: Now you're talking! Does he have The Santa Clause?

HSSXXLLLO: He has eight copies.


JET: Wait a second...that bottle of wine back there...what do you think?

HSSXXLLLO: Huh? What do you mean?

JET: I mean, do you wanna skip the movie and get hammered?

HSSXXLLLO: Oh! Sure, I don't see why not. We're legal!


WAITERBOT: Well, there they go. Off to gas up with liquid courage so they can ease into their sordid little affair.

SMITH: Can I go to the bathroom now, sir?

WAITERBOT: You cannot!

MEANWHILE...


SAM: Hello, fellow countrymen! I am Sam Preston of the construction industry.

TONY: We know. The problem is, we already have a Sam in our little group.

SAM: Then it is clear that this other Sam must not speak for the rest of December!


TONY: Why does your voice keep changing, Sam? You sounded like you were from Brooklyn yesterday, and now it's like some bad English accent or something.

SAM: I see no trouble in answering that question, friend...so long as you answer mine first!

TONY: Uh, okay?


SAM: I've long wondered why people are not capable of sprouting wings and flying. Surely there must be a thousand benefits to such an ability. How has evolution not prompted this miracle?


SAM: And I put this question to all of you. May your answers be as diverse as the stalagmites of Carlsbad Caverns.


UNCLE MILTON: Man, I was really hoping that the new guy would be cool.

TONY: Well, at least he wasn't as bad as Charles.

UNCLE MILTON: Charles is an asshole.

TONY: He really is.


SAM: Well there must be someone here who can explain this whole no-wings thing to me.


SAM: Hey, you there! Do you have any idea why I can't sprout wings? Any idea at all?


MEANWHILE...


CLAIRE: Thanks for letting us help out today, Roboclown. We seem to be bringing a lot of tension into the house, huh?

ROBOCLOWN: It's understandable. After all, you've both spent the past few years trying to kill them, with varying degrees of success.

CLAIRE: I know, and I'm ready to atone. Let me start by building today's gift?

ROBOCLOWN: Generally speaking, you would need two hands for that. You only have one. And it's stumpy.


HARE: Gah, I can't believe that Claire is actually getting into this! These LEGO Advent Calendars are pure trash!


HARE: What happened to the Playmobil Calendar, anyway?

MISTA SNOWMAN: I really don't know. But I did hear one little tidbit that you might be interested in.

HARE: Oh yeah?

MISTA SNOWMAN: Mmm hmm.


CHRISTMAS CRUNCH: ON SALE AT WAL-MART


HARE: ....

MISTA SNOWMAN: With holiday Crunchberries!

HARE: ....

MISTA SNOWMAN: From the Cap'n to you!


HARE: Claire, can we get out of here? I'm going to flip my lid soon.

CLAIRE: Almost, Hare! We just need to finish today's gift!


ROBOCLOWN: Actually, I think today's gift is finished. I followed all of the instructions.

CLAIRE: But how can it be done?! It's just half of a wagon with a shovel attached. What the fuck is that supposed to be?

ROBOCLOWN: I build them, Claire. I don't decipher them.

LATER!


JET: ...and you haven't seen any of them since last December?

HSSXXLLLO: Nope. Some of them died, others just seemed to vanish, and I know Arcano kidnapped a few of 'em. That's how I convinced everyone else to let you come here with Hare and Claire...we figured they might know something.

JET: Aww, sorry they weren't more of a help.

HSSXXLLLO: It's okay. I mean, my main thing was making sure I'd get to hang out with you.

JET: That's nice of you to say. You should drink more often.


HSSXXLLLO: I just hope Kuse is okay. That guy did so much for me. You don't want to know the situation I was in before I met Kuse.

JET: You keep talking about this Kuse guy. Are you two like...well...you know...

HSSXXLLLO: Hahah, no, it's nothing like that...Kuse is married! His wife can shoot hand energy and she's actually Hare and Claire's sister!


HSSXXLLLO: Wait a second...why did you ask me that?


JET: Don't worry about your buddies, Hssxxlllo. I'm sure they'll be okay.

HSSXXLLLO: I hope you're right, Jet. It really doesn't feel like Christmas without them here...

MEANWHILE...


Raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens.
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens...


Brown paper packages, tied up with strings...
These are a few of my favorite things!


Cream colored ponies, and crisp apple streudels.
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles...


Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings...
These are a few of my favorite things!


When the dog bites...
When the bee stings...
When I'm feeling sad...


I simply remember my favorite things...
...and then I don't feel so bad!



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