ARCANO: YOUR FORCES ARE PATHETIC. TO REITERATE, YOU HAVE PATHETIC FORCES.
ARCANO: A FRONT LINE OF WEAKLINGS, LIARS AND TRAMPS. TODAY'S FORECAST: EASY VICTORY; IN BED BY 9.
ARCANO: MR. BALLOONS, ARE YOU READY TO HANDLE THE TASK AT HAND?
MR. BALLOONS: Yeah, Dad! I am so ready. I am beyond ready.
MR. BALLOONS: How about you, Death? Are you ready to kill these idiots, eat their entrails and wear their bones as jewelry?
DEATH: I'm gonna grind them into mulch and use them as fertilizer for all of my horrifically twisted horticulture projects.
SANTA: We gotta take these guys down! You with me?!
HARE: Santa, please. We are temporary allies. Not chums.
HARE: Okay Claire, it's do or die time. Just remember what you promised. Next year, you're going to buy me a bird just so I can torture it.
CLAIRE: So long as the bird costs less than 20 bucks, it's official.
CLAIRE: Kinda weird fighting on the same side, isn't it sis?
MARE: And you're sure I can trust you? You're sure that I'm not gonna have blue hand energy in my face five minutes from now?
CLAIRE: I'm as sure as I can be, Mare.
MARE: Well James, what do you think? Do we wait for them to make the first move, or just blast them now?
JAMES LIPTON: I cannot answer this question without consulting Man-Car.
JAMES LIPTON: Man-Car, I'm here to consult with you.
MAN-CAR: This is so weird, I can still feel my toes tingling.
MARE: Okay guys, it's TIME! Let's do it on the count of three!
MR. BALLOONS: I cannot wait to collect their blood, mix it with sugar and drink it as if it were a child-targeted fruit punch.
DEATH: I'm gonna tack all of their private parts to my bulletin board.
ARCANO: ENOUGH CHATTER! NOW IS THE TIME FOR WAR!
ARCANO:ATTACK!
CLAIRE: Wow, these guys have some seriously powerful hand energy!
MARE: What did you expect?! They're a mix of Arcano and Winningham DNA! The perfect warriors!
MR. BALLOONS: Death, why aren't they dead yet?!
DEATH: Perhaps Daddy underestimated their powers.
MR. BALLOONS: Great. First he names me Mr. Balloons, and now this.
HARE: Oh this is getting us nowhere!
CLAIRE: Just keep blasting them, Hare! They'll tire out eventually!
ARCANO: WHAT IS TAKING YOU KIDS SO LONG? DESTROY THEM!
MR. BALLOONS: Aww, Pa, we're trying!
ARCANO: TRY HARDER. DO NOT RISK A LACK OF DESSERT TONIGHT.
MARE: This is ridiculous! We could be standing here shooting hand energy at each other for hours!
JAMES LIPTON: Well, maybe you can. Those of us who rely on the precious resource of gasoline can only keep this up for another ten minutes or so.
WAITERBOT: Bah! This is rapidly becoming boring! When is somebody going to die?!
ROBOCLOWN: They're too evenly matched, Waiterbot! It's a hand energy stalemate!
MISTA SNOWMAN: A stalemate? Hand energy?!
MISTA SNOWMAN: A stale ham?
MISTA SNOWMAN: HAM ENERGY?!
DEATH: Okay Mr. Balloons, I've had enough! Let's summon energies from the darkest recesses of our blackened souls, ramp up our powers, and blow these infidels apart!
*doof*
DEATH: What the fuck? Who's throwing ham now?
SANTA: He's distracted!
HARE: I see that, Santa -- let's go for it!
DEATH: YAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
SANTA: Haha, we did it! We killed one of your sister's test tube babies! Oh glorious day!
HARE: Mare! We're halfway there!
CLAIRE: Isn't Hare awesome, Mare?
MARE: She's good to have in a battle, I'll give her that!
MR. BALLOONS: YAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MARE: Well, we killed them. We killed my demon sons.
HARE: Yeah, and it's all because someone threw a ham.
ARCANO: INEXPERIENCED TWITS. I SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER THAN TO ENTRUST THE FRUITION OF MY DESIRES TO A COUPLE OF LOUSY HALF-WINNINGHAMS.
ARCANO: NO, AS EVER, WHEN ARCANO WANTS SOMETHING DONE...
ARCANO: ...HE MUST DO IT HIMSELF.
EVERYONE: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
EVERYONE: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
ARCANO: DID YOU REALLY EXPECT THIS TO END ANY OTHER WAY?
MARE: Oh no! Oh no, Kuse!
KUSE: You tried, Mare. You did more than anyone could've really hoped for.
MARE: But I don't want us to die!
ARCANO: THAT FIRST SHOT WAS A TEASE. THIS NEXT ONE -- THAT'S THE NUT.
MARE: Kuse! I'm sorry! I'm sorry I couldn't get us out of this!
KUSE: It's not your fault, Mare. For whatever reason, bad guys just like targeting us.
KNACKS:Wait! Kuse, Mare! LOOK!!
ARCANO: WISH JESUS A HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I KNOW IT'S A CHORE, BUT TRUST ME, YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN.
ARCANO: Huh?
ARCANO: WHAT?!!
*boom*
ARCANO: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
ARCANO:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
KUSE: Ummm...
MARE: HOLY SHIT.
KUSE: Yes, that's it. HOLY SHIT.
MARE: Thanks for blowing up Arcano, little raccoon! You're incredible!!
KUSE: Careful Mare...he's still twitching.
MARE: Don't worry, Kuse. Whatever started when those crabs came knocking...ends right now.
