MARE: Merry Christmas, everybody!

CLAIRE: Hey sis, can you be a little more cliche?


CLAIRE: Well Hare, we did it. We've "gone good." Thanks for testing the waters with me.

HARE: So long as I get my torture bird, we're golden. Now tell me, why do I feel all weirdly tall and warm today?

CLAIRE: Because you're proud of yourself, Hare.


CLAIRE: I'm proud of you, too.


WAITERBOT: Colt 45?! What kind of party is this?! This beer isn't supposed to even exist outside of parody ads and bad sketch comedy.

ROBOCLOWN: Hey, at least you can drink. Do you know what it's like for me to see all of this food and booze and know that I'd explode if I tried to ingest it?

WAITERBOT: Do not attempt to play "top THIS" with me, clown. You will lose.


ROBOCLOWN: It's been an interesting year, hasn't it?

WAITERBOT: If by "interesting" you mean "impossibly irritating" and/or "suicide-inducing," then yes, go fuck yourself.


LEGO SANTA: Wow, would ya look at the two of us? AWKWARD.

SANTA: Why is it awkward?

LEGO SANTA: Huh? Because, I mean, we're both Santa Clauses, and we both kinda look the same, only we don't really look that much the same, because you're really tall and I'm really short, and heck, I guess we aren't even the same species, either.


SANTA: It's not awkward, LEGO Santa.

LEGO SANTA: You're right. I really shouldn't have said it.


JET: Wow, Hssxxlllo! Looks like all of your wishes came true! Your friends are safe and sound, and they're here for Christmas!

HSSXXLLLO: I know! I guess my feet really are lucky.


JET: So Hssxxlllo, this little thing we have going...it's not just one of those quickie relationships that people get into so they won't have to spend the holidays alone, is it? I mean, are we talking about the long haul, here?

HSSXXLLLO: Please. You're not going anywhere, Jet.

JET: Perfect answer! Perfect perfect perfect!


WAITERBOT: There. Don't say I never gave you nothing.

JAMES LIPTON: You mean, "don't say you never gave me anything." To never give nothing would imply that you're always giving something. Unless that's what you meant?

WAITERBOT: James Lipton shut the fuck up!


JAMES LIPTON: Wait a minute...is this the hat?! You saved my hat from last year?!

WAITERBOT: Yes. Tell anyone, and you'll be dead.

JAMES LIPTON: Oh my GOD! Thank you, Waiterbot! I've been dreaming about this moment for so long!


JAMES LIPTON: I feel like one of the gangstas from New Jack City!


SMITH: That was nice of you to do for James, sir.

WAITERBOT: I do have a heart, you know. In fact, though I rarely speak of it publicly, I donate to all sorts of charities -- even those bullshit dolphin ones. I find that the quiet knowledge that I've somehow aided a...uh....um...


WAITERBOT: ....


WAITERBOT: CHARLES YOU SLAPDASH DICKEYE, I am in no mood to open up!

SMITH: Sorry, sir.


MARE: You're drunk?

KUSE: Way past that.

MARE: Of course.


MARE: Feels weird to be out of that dungeon and not on the run, huh?

KUSE: Yep. Looks like we missed out on a lot here, too. Lemonade stands, gay rabbits...Frosty the Snowman YouTube clips...


KUSE: Love ya, baby. 2010 is gonna be our year...I can feel it.

MARE: Ah, you're still a cute little scarred up grey monkey. I love you, too.


KNACKS: I don't know, raccoon. I'm happy that we're free, and that Arcano is gone, and that everyone is having a good time...but how I am supposed to celebrate when Cher's still out there somewhere?


KNACKS: I hope she's with the others, at least. I hope they're all on a beach somewhere, having some kind of weird Christmas luau. I hope they're alive.


KUSE: Don't talk that way, Knacks! Of course they're alive!


KNACKS: How can you be so sure?

KUSE: You know what I've come to realize? We go through a lot of awful shit, and sometimes we even spend entire years locked in dungeons with giant crabs, but when you get right down to it....me, you, our friends...we're tough to kill.


KUSE: Look Knacks, I know it sucks that you have to spend Christmas without Cher. We miss her, too. And Legotron and Tigerboy.

KNACKS: Don't forget Box.

KUSE: ....

KNACKS: Your son?

KUSE: Oh fuck! Christ I forgot all about him!


KUSE: Once we get through the holidays, we'll go looking for them. We'll find Cher. I promise.

KNACKS: Thanks Kuse, that makes me feel a lot better.

KUSE: Merry Christmas, buddy.

KNACKS: Thanks. Happy Hanukah.


MARE: Great job with that ham toss yesterday, Mista Snowman!

MISTA SNOWMAN: Thank you Mare! I call it "ham energy!"

MARE: I know...you told me. A hundred times.

MISTA SNOWMAN: Ham energy ham energy ham energy!


HAM


ENER


GY


MISTA SNOWMAN: It's great to have you back, Mare! You and Kuse and that other guy with the thing popping out of his head! It's so Christmassy to have you here with us!

MARE: It's great to be back, Mista Snowman...


MARE: ...back with my family.



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