HSSXXLLLO: This is definitely Cher's old raccoon. He must've escaped the circus and built a nest in the tree that Roboclown cut down yesterday!
ROBOCLOWN: You're not making me sound particularly eco-friendly, Hssxxlllo.
HSSXXLLLO: God, can you imagine how many miles this little guy had to travel to make it all the way down here? Cher would be so proud!
SAM: Uh, Waiterbot? Who's this "Cher" chick?
WAITERBOT: Some tramp. I used to keep her in a birdcage.
HSSXXLLLO: Roboclown, do you realize what this means? There's still hope for the others!
ROBOCLOWN: Hssxxlllo, I figured you'd start thinking like that, but we've been through this. Don't keep setting yourself up for disappointment.
HSSXXLLLO: No, it's different this time! This raccoon is a sign!
ROBOCLOWN: Hssxxlllo, let's just calm down and talk about this rationally. It's just a raccoon. It doesn't necessarily mean anything.
HSSXXLLLO: I'm reinvigorated! I am going to fix this computer and find my friends no matter how long it takes!
ROBOCLOWN: Hssxxlllo, don't do this...I'm worried about you.
WAITERBOT: Vile vermin! Do they honestly expect me to share living space with a raccoon?!
SAM: We're with you, Waiterbot. We hate that thing. We tried to kill it yesterday, but the fucker was too fast.
WAITERBOT: Oh you did, did you?
WAITERBOT: Perhaps I've misjudged you generically named LEGO men. Anyone who would conspire to murder this chinchilla must not be all bad. Why don't you two join me on my Advent Calendar run today?
TONY: Really?! That'd be awesome!
WAITERBOT: Yes, it will! We shall bond and form a trio of evil, with me as the head!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Advent Calendar runs? Trios of evil?! CAN I COME WITH YOU?
WAITERBOT: You cannot!
LATER!
HSSXXLLLO: God damn it! God damn piece of shit fucking god damned broken computer! WHY WON'T YOU JUST WORK?! WHYYYYY
MISTA SNOWMAN: Why is Hssxxlllo cursing at my DVD player?
ROBOCLOWN: Because he can't fix it. You really did a number on that thing, Mista Snowman.
MISTA SNOWMAN: No way! The "evidence" is pure speculation!
ROBOCLOWN: Mista Snowman...who else would be stupid enough to download a virus disguised as a free reindeer-themed screensaver?
ROBOCLOWN: I'm really starting to worry about Hssxxlllo. He's taking this search so far over the top...I think he might be going a little nuts.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Hah, look at him now! This must be the climax!
MOTHAFUCKAAAAA
I HATE COMPUTERS I HATE COMPUTERS I CAN'T STAND ANYTHING I WANT TO DIEEEEE
ROBOCLOWN: Do you think we should call a psychiatrist or the cops or something?
MISTA SNOWMAN: If you do, see if they'll pick up some of those gingerbread lattes from Starbucks. The cup designs are UNBELIEVABLE.
MEANWHILE...
WAITERBOT:A ha! Finally, a new person! One I can claim ownership of without debate!
SAM: Wow, is that how we look before you guys put us together?
TONY: That's fucked up!
SAM: So Waiterbot...what's with the obsession with "owning" people? Isn't it a little...dark?
WAITERBOT: We all have our quirks. Frankly...it turns me on.
WAITERBOT: There, you're all set. What's your name, friend?
OFFICER SMITH: I'm Smith...Officer Charles T. Smith. It's nice to make your acquaintance.
WAITERBOT: I concur.
WAITERBOT: So tell me, Charles...do you see that lamppost back there?
