SANTA: Wow, another horse! The Advent Calendar is on a roll!
WAITERBOT: Correction, Santa. This is a pony. Horses are big, smelly and cumbersome. Ponies are small, delicate and wonderful. This is a pony. My pony.
WAITERBOT: I've named her Steadfast Trolley, just because. She may be a boy, but I'm calling her a girl out of sheer preference. Don't touch Steadfast Trolley without my permission.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Santa, can you believe this? We've gotten a Mare, horses...this Calendar has it all!
SANTA: Really makes you wonder what we'll find down there today.
MISTA SNOWMAN: You said it! Let's get going, the suspense is killaling me!
SANTA: You mean "killing" you.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Nah, I don't. I'm a word inventor. "Killaling" means "agitating." It makes sense because suspense bugs me.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Bye Waiterbot! Bye Horsey! Take care of Pear and the barn and everything!
WAITERBOT: Finally! I've been pining for a little "alone time" at this insipid barn. And I know just how to use it.
WAITERBOT: Sweet little Pear, it's time. I have something to show you. No part of you will be the same when I'm through.
PEAR: Sounds gross.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Oooh, this is gonna be something good, I can FEEL it! I bet it's going to be some kind of amazingly cute animal, thematically tied to Christmas! AHHHH, SUSPENSE!
SANTA: Uh huh.
SANTA: Do you want to open it, or should I? I'm flex.
MISTA SNOWMAN: I think you should open it, Santa. I'll stand here, so that as soon as the amazingly cute animal jumps out, he or she will have someone to hug!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Well, Santa? What kind of animal is it?
SANTA: Sorry, lad. No animals today. And honestly, I should prepare you. This gift is pretty disappointing.
SANTA: ...it's just hay. A whole bunch of hay. I hope you aren't too upset.
UPSET ARE YOU KIDDING
HAY'S EVEN BETTER THAN ANIMALS BECAUSE
WAIT SHIT EARTHQUAKE
SANTA: Mista Snowman! Good God, are you okay?!
MISTA SNOWMAN: We really oughta do something about these used gift holes! They're dangerous, Santa!
SANTA: You know, it's funny, Waiterbot said the exact same thing! I didn't pay him much mind because...well, you know him. He's always complaining about something.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Naw I think it's safe to say that it was a pretty legitimate gripe.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Hey, not to change the subject, but you seem to be missing one of those big fuzzy cuff things from your shirt sleeve.
SANTA: Huh? What are you talking about?
SANTA: Wait a second...you're right! I am missing one of my big fuzzy cuff things! What the frig? Where could it be?
MISTA SNOWMAN: It's been like that for days, Santa!
PEAR: You have to be kidding. This is what you wanted to show me?!
WAITERBOT: Yes! You see, I am a sculptor. I don't want the guys knowing about it, because it could lead them to confuse me with someone who isn't invulnerable.
PEAR: So what exactly do you want me to do, here?
WAITERBOT: Just look, really. And maybe let me know if I'm any good at this.
PEAR: So what's this one called?
WAITERBOT: I don't name my pieces, but this is a monster head with a befuddled expression. I'd classify it as an "outsider" piece. Thoughts?
PEAR: Eh, I guess it's okay, but, not gonna lie...it isn't something that I'd ever pay money for.
WAITERBOT: Well this was just the appetizer! My real best work is yet to come!
WAITERBOT: There! The Loch Ness Monster! Never has this beast been realized with such exquisite skill! You can't tell me that you aren't floored by this!
PEAR: Waiterbot, come on. That's totally derivative. It's just a clay version of those plastic Loch Ness Monsters from toy stores.
WAITERBOT: You dare insult my work? Normally I'd kill you, but I have one final piece with which I am certain to gain your unwavering support!
WAITERBOT: A bowl! A regular bowl, but one large enough to safely contain thirty-seven apples with positively no spillage.
PEAR: It's better than the other two, I'll admit that.
WAITERBOT: Think of the incredible salads a person could serve!
