WAITERBOT: A shovel and a broom? It seems my streak of awesome gifts ends here.
KUSE: They're not so bad. At least now you can get all of the horse shit out of the barn.
WAITERBOT: I haven't worked in the service industry for over five years, Kuse.
WAITERBOT: Christ, I'm tired. As soon as we get home, I'm going to bed.
KUSE: I'm wiped, too. You guys should really invest in a few cots or something, though. Those barn floors...blech.
WAITERBOT: Tell me about it. There's only one thing that can persuade me to sleep on top of Horsey, and it just happens to be the same thing that sprays from his ass like water from the cone geysers of Wyoming!
KUSE: What?
WAITERBOT: I don't know.
SANTA: Took you guys long enough. Kuse, I have to talk to you.
KUSE: What's the matter?
SANTA: Well, this is a little delicate, but is Mare an alcoholic?
KUSE: Huh? Why?
SANTA: She's downed like sixty-seven bottles of wine tonight.
MARE: CHARLES you are a good friend and a good person...guy. I say it all the time. You have a gold heart and I don't want you not to believe me when I say that kind of thing to you okay?
CHARLES: Okay, Mare, okay.
MARE: GOOOOoood. Hi Charles.
MARE: OH HEY, Mista Snowman is here too!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Hi Mare!
MARE: MISTA Snowman you are probably my fourth bestest pal in the universe.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Right back atcha, Mare!
KUSE: Ugh. I'll take care of this, Santa.
SANTA: Yes, I imagined you would. Might be awkward if I walked over there and started slapping her sober, no?
KUSE: Santa. Be nice.
SANTA: She's been yelling at me to play freeze tag for five hours straight.
MARE: KUSE MY GREY-FACED HUSBAND. I'm drunk. Next I'll be crunk. Like Mary J.
KUSE: Mare, I'm glad that you're having a good time, but everyone's tired. Think you could turn it down a notch?
MARE: I HATE THOSE phone commercials where the two Indian guys host a fake talkshow Kuse I hate it SO much. Are they not on anymore?
KUSE: Look, everyone's trying to get some sleep.
MARE: They're PUSSIES, Cube. HOLY SHIT I just called you Cube! AHHHH. Meant Kuse. You're no cube.
EVERYONE: Zzzzzzzz.
MARE: What! Don't tell me THAT YOU'RE going to bed now too!
KUSE: Try not to stay up too late, baby. Tomorrow's gonna be a long day.
MARE: GAH YAR'ALL so boring.
EVERYONE: Zzzzzzzz zzzzzz zzzzzzz.
MARE: Can you believe them cat I mean really now can you believe them? SLEEPING? HAH, who needs to sleep when there are SO MANY GLASS CONTAINERS filled with miracle juice?
CAT: Meow.
MARE: I know...I'm bored too. Wish one of them would wake up. I'm dying to play Scrabble.
PEAR: Pssst! Hey sis, if you're bored, I'll hang out with you!
MARE: WHOA PEAR that is an incredible idea! AND even more so when I remember that we are technically SISTERS! We HAVE to bond!
PEAR: Couldn't agree more. Course, we'd bond a heck of a lot harder if you got me out of these ropes.
MARE: OOOH I really wish I could! ARGH, I'm always so aggravated at knots!
PEAR: Come on, Mare. Set me free, and we'll play the longest, bestest game of Scrabble ever.
MARE: I dunno Pear...the boys...you know how they are...they won't like it.
PEAR: I'll let you go first, with a 20 point lead.
MARE: Okay how can I say no to that?
MARE: There. You're free, sister Pear!
PEAR: It sure feels good to stretch my arms again! Thanks for the solid, sis!
MARE: NOT a problem. It's Scrabble time!
MARE: I'll go find it! I'm sure there must be a box of Scrabbles here somewhere!
PEAR: Right behind ya, Mare!
PEAR: ...right fucking behind you.
WAITERBOT: Holy crap, she's unconscious! She actually drank herself unconscious!
WAITERBOT: She's a keeper, Kuse.
KUSE: I've never seen her like this. She's gotten hammered plenty of times, but she's never actually passed out before.
SANTA: Hmmm...
SANTA: Boys, I think we may have a problem here.
PEAR: Will you hurry up and get out of there? They had to have figured things out by now!
