CHARLES: This would've been easier if you hadn't deactivated my Internet connection. How am I supposed to do research?
DOUBLEMARE: STOP ADDING QUALIFIERS. READ US WHAT YOU HAVE SO FAR.
CHARLES: "Doublemare is a big and tall lady, stop. Doublemare used to be two different Mares, comma, until they joined together into one big Mare, stop. Doublemare has black hair and wears Wrangler brand jeans, stop."
DOUBLEMARE: YOU CALL THIS A BIOGRAPHY?!
DOUBLEMARE: WHERE'S THE STYLE? THE FLAIR? THERE NEEDS TO BE MORE PIZAZZ!
DOUBLEMARE: TAKE THIS DICTIONARY. SEEK OUT COOLER WORDS WITH WHICH TO DESCRIBE US.
CHARLES: If that's what you're after, a thesaurus would be better.
DOUBLEMARE: CHARLES WE ONLY HAVE A DICTIONARY.
CHARLES:Stupid giant Mare with her stupid ghostwritten autobiography and her stupid dictionary!
DOUBLEMARE: WE CAN HEAR YOU.
DOUBLEMARE: IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND A DECENT AUTHOR THESE DAYS. ALL EVERYONE WRITES IS INFANTILE CRAP.
DOUBLEMARE: WELL, TIME TO KILL ANOTHER HORSE WITH CRUDE YELLOW LIGHTNING.
DOUBLEMARE: HEE HEE!
WAITERBOT: Jesus Christ, you sick fucking bitch!
DOUBLEMARE: WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
WAITERBOT: One was bad enough, but did you ever consider how many flies you'd attract with two severed horse heads on the floor?
DOUBLEMARE: FLIES ARE OUR FRIENDS. WE'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT FLIES ARE CHIEFLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE POLLINATION OF MANGOS.
DOUBLEMARE: WE'RE GOING TO THE ADVENT CALENDAR. IF YOU TRY TO ESCAPE, WE'LL EAT YOU PREMATURELY.
MARE: Waiterbot, stop egging her on! This is a Doublemare, here!
WAITERBOT: Mare, we've known each other for what...six years? Surely you are perfectly familiar with my position on severed horse heads!
MARE: We gotta play this smart! Nod and smile when she's here, and try to figure out a way out of this when she's not!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Don't worry, Mare! I have it all covered.
MARE: You have a plan, Mista Snowman?
MISTA SNOWMAN: I do, and it's totally foolproof. You are gonna die when you see it unfold.
MISTA SNOWMAN: I can't remember what it is, but I bet it has to do with the Star of Bethlehem.
DOUBLEMARE: THIS IS PREPOSTEROUS. THE ADVENT CALENDAR HAS LITERALLY GIVEN US HORSE SHIT.
FREDDY: Well aren't you a big girl. Bet I could slice your tits into paper-thin slices for seven hours solid.
DOUBLEMARE: OH PUH-LEEZE, TINY UGLY LEGO MAN. WE ARE A DOUBLEMARE.
DOUBLEMARE: THERE COULD BE FIFTY OF YOU. WE STILL WOULDN'T BREAK A SWEAT.
FREDDY: Ooooh, that hurt sooo bad! I'm gonna write "tnuc aru" on a sheet of paper, hand it to you, and tell you to read it backwards!
FREDDY: PS: You're not the only one who can shoot shit out of their hands.
DOUBLEMARE:AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
STARE: Pear! What happened?!
PEAR: That fucking guy blasted us so hard, we split back into our individual selves!
