FREDDY: Man, what a rush! I could shoot you assholes for a month and never get bored of it!
FREDDY: Fortunately for you, you'll never last that long!
EVERYONE: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
FREDDY: Jason, you see that legless corpse down there?
JASON: ....
FREDDY: Go do that to everyone else.
DOUBLEMARE: STAY AWAY FROM US, YOU MURDEROUS MALCONTENT. WE DON'T DESERVE THIS!
JASON: ....
DOUBLEMARE: WRONG. "MALCONTENT" IS AN ADJECTIVE BUT ALSO A NOUN. AS A NOUN, IT MEANS "CHRONICALLY DISSATISFIED PERSON." YOU FIT THE BILL, JERK.
PUPPY: Arf arf arf!
FREDDY: What the fuck is that DOG doing here? Jason, I thought I told you to leave him home!
FREDDY: Hey, get back here! We have noble souls to sully!
FREDDY: Treasonous leech. On the upside, now I get to kill you all by myself!
CHARLES: Stop it right there, Freddy!
FREDDY: Oh COME ON. You're so unimportant, I don't even know your name!
FREDDY: ...in fact, spending hand energy on you seems wasteful. I'll give you one chance to get out of here before I change my mind.
CHARLES: Freddy. Turn around.
FREDDY: A horse ass? So what? What's the big deal about a horse ass?
HORSEY: EVERYBODY STAND BACK!
WAITERBOT: Not that I don't appreciate the assist, but how exactly can Horsey help us?
CHARLES: Just watch, Waiterbot.
WAITERBOT: What, is Freddy supposed to be too entranced with ass polyps to kill me?
WAITERBOT: Hey wait a second...hold the phone...
WAITERBOT: THOSE AREN'T ASS POLYPS!
FREDDY:AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
FREDDY:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
FREDDY:No! My powers...they're draining! I'm losing my spiritual essence! I'm....I'm...
FREDDY: Ah fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
KUSE: You know, he said something about being made of paper, but I never thought he meant it literally.
DOUBLEMARE: WE'VE READ ABOUT THESE PESTS. THEY LONG FOR THE POWERS OF FLESH, BUT AS SOON AS THEY GET IT, IT'S ALWAYS MISSPENT.
KUSE: Doublemare, if we have sex, is that cheating?
FREDDY: You morons think you've won, but it ain't over yet! I studied Mare history for an entire month before carrying out my plan. I know the secret spell!
FREDDY:Dukes of darkness, kings of Hell! Smite my enemies, bring them hell!
WAITERBOT: Is he trying to perform a spell? We haven't seen that in a while!
DOUBLEMARE: BETTER CUT HIM SHORT. DON'T WANT IT TO START RAINING POISON DART FROGS.
DOUBLEMARE: THERE. HE IS FINISHED.
FREDDY: yooou'ree toooo laaaaaateee....
MISTA SNOWMAN: Oh no! Guys, we have incoming!
KUSE: This is getting fucking ridiculous now. Did Freddy just summon another Mare?
DOUBLEMARE: IT SURPRISES US TOO. MARE-SUMMONING SPELLS ARE USUALLY FIVE VERSES AT MINIMUM.
MISTA SNOWMAN: She looks tall! Maybe another Doublemare? Or a Megamare?
DOUBLEMARE: WRONG. WE'VE HEARD ABOUT THESE MARES BEFORE. WE THOUGHT THEY WERE ONLY FAIRY TALES!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Well what kind of Mare is she?!
DOUBLEMARE: A NIGHTMARE. IT MAKES SENSE BECAUSE...FREDDY KRUEGER.
NIGHTMARE: Right you are, my pathetic excuse for a distant sister! I am a Nightmare. So proud am I of my species, I've taken its name as my own!
NIGHTMARE: ...and the thing about us Nightmares. Our hand energy...it's a total one-shot-kill situation. Orange juice.
DOUBLEMARE: SHIT! EVERYBODY RUN!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Wait, hold on! Did she just say "orange juice" for no apparent reason?
MISTA SNOWMAN: That's conveniently...familiar!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Well, looks like I'm all packed up and ready to go! Santa is going to be so surprised when he sees me! I bet he'll be overjoyed!
MARE:Be careful out there, Mista Snowman! We don't want you coming back to us in a box!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Heh, no worries...I melt when I die! I'd be in a bottle or something!
MARE: We're all so proud of you, Mista Snowman. You're going to run a great Advent Calendar.
MISTA SNOWMAN: Thanks, but why are you choking me?
MARE: I'm fixing your scarf. It's untidy.
MARE: Say hi to Santa for us!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Have a holly jolly Christmas, everyone! See you on New Year's Eve!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Well Mista Snowman, this is it. Your very own Advent Calendar. Your shot at the big time. Better hit the road...Santa's waitin'!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Hey wait...why are you still here?!
JAMES LIPTON: Because it doesn't take the mental acumen of a scientifically experimented-upon dolphin to see that YOU, dear snowman, need an ace up your sleeve!
MISTA SNOWMAN: James...what are you talking about?
JAMES LIPTON: Orange juice!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Oh yeah! Orange juice!
WAITERBOT: You idiot! Get off the floor, you're giving her an easy shot!
MISTA SNOWMAN: Trust me, Waiterbot!
WAITERBOT: I will never trust you!
JAMES LIPTON: Well, I can't say it's been easy hiding in a snowman all month, but it was warmer than I had anticipated!
JAMES LIPTON: So where's the bitch of the hour, then? Oh, there she is!
NIGHTMARE: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
JAMES LIPTON: Heh, she kinda looked like Dracula, did she not? Did you know that someone named a specific protein in bat saliva after Dracula? It's called draculin!
MISTA SNOWMAN: James, you did it! You saved us! You saved Christmas!
JAMES LIPTON: Hey, don't sell yourself short! We had to do away with most of your intestinal track to make room for me.
DOUBLEMARE: WELL, IT SEEMS THIS WILL BE A HAPPY CHRISTMAS AFTER ALL. WAR IS OVER.
WAITERBOT: Saved by Mista Snowman and James Fucking Lipton? I think I would've preferred being dead!
AHHHHHHHH
WAITERBOT: Santa, how many times? Seriously, HOW MANY TIMES?!
SANTA: Sorry everyone. Guess I really should hire someone to fix these floors.
