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From: Dullard | Posted: 3/31/2003 3:01:32 PM
Tiles - A film about a freelance floor tile designer who strikes a hit and gets swept up in the money and fame. He makes some bad choices and ends up losing most of his money as well as the owning rights to the tile design. But he comes out on top with the help of the girl he meets, an Amish recluse who never knew what floor tiles were, and his best friend, a dumb but lovable man he knew since kindergarten.

From: joeypants | Posted: 3/31/2003 5:05:47 PM
Sylvester Stallone and his son Vin Diesel join up as a father/son federal agent duo that is forced to work together despite their rough family history and alcoholic problems. They must apprehend a variety of colorful yet competent supercriminals through a combination of boxing, extreme sports and disastrous one-liners. Includes many unnecessary action sequences and strip club visits. Much suspension of disbelief ensues.

The sad thing is, most of the suggestions under this topic are probably being considered.

From: Snake Venom | Posted: 3/31/2003 5:09:49 PM
Ernest goes 2 Harlem: For sheezay!

From: punch line | Posted: 3/31/2003 5:15:12 PM
an indian/pakistani guy should team up with a white guy......those ethnic mis-match comedies NEVER GET OLD
besides...its an inadian...not black..not asian....so its BRAND NEW IDEARRRRRR

From: final mutation | Posted: 3/31/2003 5:25:36 PM
Great Ball Of Fire: An insane scientist creates a ray that throws off the orbit of Haley's comet, causing it to collide with the moon. Now, a team of crack scientists, played by Carrot Top, Pauly Shore, and Tom Arnold have to travel into space to blow up what remains (for no apparent reason), while dealing with personal issues such as Carrot Top's addiction to opium, magical talking crap, and an evil kung-fu gangsta played by Adam Sandler.

From: joeypants | Posted: 3/31/2003 5:35:32 PM
An unlikely love story in the city where a world-famous pop star who spends millions on her image and physical appearance is some kind of low-level blue collar worker and through a series of high-larious coincidences is noticed by an upper crust business guy who sees her inner beauty. Everyone says the romance will never work but the miracle of true love and not superficial social climbing makes them a great couple.
Not shown, the inevitable divorce 6 months later after the businessman sobers up and realizes his sad desperation and the new group of low-class grubbers he is now associated with.

From: zachiscool | Posted: 3/31/2003 7:16:02 PM
Springtime for Hitler! an entire movie about the Mel Brooks play! wait.... that would be insanely funny....

From: Metal Gear | Posted: 3/31/2003 7:25:23 PM
Say it ain't so Joe: A boy by the name of Joe must battle evil alien foreces on a planet i can't prounce the name off, only to discover that it was a dream the whole time and he was really a pathitic actor how sucks at what he does(played by Vin Diesl) how must go on a search to get his carrer back. He is later shot and the last hour is spent with ppl praising his death

From: Doctrine Dark | Posted: 4/1/2003 3:12:01 PM
Willy Wonka and the Bottled Water Factory-A special re issue of Willy Wonka with all references and images of chocolate replaced with bottled water so that diabetics won't be offended

From: joeypants | Posted: 4/1/2003 3:30:43 PM
The Planeteers Movie:
The New Planeteers played by Angelina Jolie, Mekhi Pfeifer (sp) Lucy Liu, Paul Walker and the guy who played Short Round in Indiana Jones have to fight a conglomeration of supervillains played by James Earl Jones, Mr. T, and any other washed up actors who need work. Captain Planet, played by Christoper Walken defeats the villains by using their severed thumbs to push the self destruct buttons on the doomsday pollution device. The Planeteer alert message at the end of the movie is: Don't eat yellow snow.

From: joeypants | Posted: 4/1/2003 3:40:22 PM
Ping Pong Power
A yuppie table tennis player at the peak of his prime falls into trouble when drugs, women and alcohol take over his life. He becomes depressed and feels he has no reason to live. After a long bender he wakes up in Harlem and attempts suicide by jumping off a building, but is stopped by a homeless black man who is miraculously not played by a famous hip hop artist. The homeless man becomes his coach and through a variety of slang and self esteem exercises the table tennis player goes back to the top. Naturally a variety of comical and awkward situations result.
If table tennis seems to obscure, the sport could be badminton, in which case the movie should be entitled Badminton Badass.

From: I Love Dimples | Posted: 4/1/2003 6:53:39 PM
I got a great horror movie idea.

This guy eats a donut, throws away the bag, and since he was full, he threw the half eaten donut into a river he was crossing. He stands on the small bridge, and sees the donut sway to the left of the river because of the water current. The next day, he passes through the bridge, and sees the same donut swaying to the right of the river. I just get the goosebumps thinking about it.

From: joeypants | Posted: 4/2/2003 12:16:17 PM
Jean Claude Van Damme stars in...well, anything really.

From: joeypants | Posted: 4/3/2003 7:01:35 PM
I think the world is ready to see Haley Joel Osment of Frankie Muniz in the role of a super-intelligent homicidal maniac with a harem of beautiful yet deadly henchmen.

From: Hasufel | Posted: 4/3/2003 7:42:41 PM
I think the Simpsons summed up a horible movie...

Th Terminatrix: An erotic thriller - It's about a killer robot driving instructor who has to travel back in time for some reason. And at the end he must make a gripping desicion, whether his best friend will live or die. His friend is a talking pie.

From: tvm911 | Posted: 4/3/2003 7:55:31 PM
i got one.

an average disney fan thinks he is cool, but when he supports the new version of journey into imagination in the presence of a dude who wears a sorcerer mickey hat that enjoyed the 1983 version of journey into imagination and at the same time who blames eric idle (that's the actor who plays nigel channing on the new ride) for the demise of the ride. when the "sorcerer" turns out to be an expert of ninjitsu and puts a jitsu on the other guy, this other guy turns in to epcot's mascot. Rob Schneider is Figment

(this idea was inspired by the south park episode where they make fun of rob schneider's movies)

From: genofreek | Posted: 4/3/2003 8:20:42 PM
Kid Radd: The Movie.

From: joeypants | Posted: 4/4/2003 1:23:56 PM
There's Something about Maury, starring Maury Povich

From: SonicRaptor | Posted: 4/4/2003 2:02:53 PM
Another "teen comedy", directed by Michael Bay, starring Tom Green & Madonna.

From: Magus | Posted: 4/4/2003 4:26:46 PM
Jesus VS. The Care Bears

From: SolidX3 | Posted: 4/4/2003 5:16:50 PM
The Stall

An egotistical actor is trapped in a bathroom stall by a sniper. If he leaves or flushes the toilet the sniper will shoot.

From: dilsnufis | Posted: 4/4/2003 5:42:26 PM
The Outer Space [Mis]Adventures of Jar-Jar Binks and Captain Panaka

From: The Foreign Minister | Posted: 4/5/2003 12:48:30 AM | Message Detail
I just imagine the worst action movie ever, where there's a bomb in the President's son's pinyata on his birthday. When he smashes it, a nuclear bomb will go off. So Jim Stryker, your token disgraced ex-CIA agent, must return and save the day.

Of course, Eurotrash villains will be abound.

However, I imagine the twist ending to be there was candy in the pinyata after all. Stryker jumps out the window and throws it into the air and it just lands and there's candy. They come to the conclusion that they got the wrong pinyata in the mail and call it a succesful day any ways, because they at least killed two dozen Eurotrash terrorists.

The final scene is a poor-but-loving Mexican family, and the father showing is son a pinyata. The son is blind-folded and just runs for it with a bat.

Cut to black.

Executive Producer: Jerry Bruckheimer

From: Gekigangar3 | Posted: 4/5/2003 5:20:08 AM
Jackass: The Movie.

Hang on a second...

From: Couch Potato | Posted: 4/5/2003 5:29:40 AM
How about this, a new breed of secret agent. He would be like James Bond, but he would be a badass with a high temper and a low IQ. The film would be filled with adreniline and wouldnt go 10 minutes without something blowing up.

From: Couch Potato | Posted: 4/5/2003 5:34:18 AM
Or how about a film about a bus whose SPEED couldn't go over 50 because if its SPEED went over 50 it would trigger a bomb. So the bus has to drive with a SPEED over 50.

I think it should be called "The bus that couldn't slow down"

From: Andy K | Posted: 4/5/2003 9:48:19 AM
"The Man With The Big Hat"

(in the deep crusty voice over) There was a man, who led a simple everyday life. but unkown to the man someone stole his secret... HIS HAT

coming to cinemas world wide "The Man With The Big Hat"

From: Voice Of Reason | Posted: 4/5/2003 1:17:34 PM
Attack of the gigantic Hamburgers...
A 16 year old orphaned love child of Julia Roberts and Carrot Top must save the world when a government project to make faster growing cows goes awry, creating a giant cloud of meat patties infecting everything in it's path with salmonella. The hero's secret weapon? A George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine that uses it's fat reducing power to destroy and thoroughly cook the meat patties, killing the salmonella and sucking all the juices out of the patties, rendering them harmless.

From: HammerSuit | Posted: 4/5/2003 2:50:14 PM
The Guards: Three men, played by Kevin Bacon, Kevin Costner, and Kurt Russel... I don't think I have to continue, the movie already sounds like it sucks. But anyway, the three men have to impersonate mexican citizens as they protect a squad of 20 fully-armed and well-trained U.S. soldiers from a guerilla force of 5 members of the Mexican royal guard, armed with crowbars. The soldiers are on a mission to bring a suitcase full of $100,000,000,000 to Fidel Castro in hopes of convincing Fidel not launch 12" plastic water rockets at Florida.

From: axeman61 | Posted: 4/5/2003 2:57:08 PM
A shape-shifter who has psychological illness and is frequently possessed by ghosts seeks help from a paraplegic schizophrenic.

From: AnthonyFrickenMarra | Posted: 4/5/2003 6:05:11 PM | Message Detail
ROSANNE GETS NAKED in Rosanne Gets Naked!

Set it and forget it the movie

From: FFVIIMAN | Posted: 4/5/2003 6:09:43 PM | Message Detail
The Untimely End

A long time ago,
In a galaxy far, fa....

(Giant explosion)

THE END.

From: Gambitbuzz66 | Posted: 4/5/2003 6:48:25 PM
A movie about talkin monkies they try to solve there life problems and do
nothing but talkin for 3hrs 100million dollar buget.

From: InuyashaFreak | Posted: 4/5/2003 8:33:03 PM
1st Idea: What you guys have all suggested, PLUS Vin Diesel in the starring role (even if it's female).


From: joeypants | Posted: 4/5/2003 9:02:07 PM
Tetris: The Movie
2.5 hours of a guy going for the Tetris World record. Includes slow motion replays and split screen action.

From: RevolverSnake | Posted: 4/5/2003 9:34:58 PM
Fried...OR Mashed?: A twisting thriller about an ex-cop who must decide whether he wants his potatoes in the form of french fries or mashed potatoes. He meets up with his old partners and even must confine in a killer to confront the gut-wrenching decision. Finally, in an incredible twist, the ex-cop utters the final words of the movie:

"How about...a baked potato to mix things up?"

From: I am spam | Posted: 4/5/2003 9:40:08 PM
The Meaning of Life

A very serious movie about the meaning of life, no songs, or exploding fatsos, just philosopy. Move along, nothing to see here.

From: chuleta121 | Posted: 4/5/2003 10:11:49 PM
The Rhombus: Magical sharpener that if you use a pencil sharpened by it you die within a week.

From: Chameleon Man | Posted: 4/6/2003 8:27:17 AM
Plastic Bag Caught In An Updraft
In a little town called Little Town, a middle-aged man who lives with his parents goes off to fight organized crime in Kansas. Along the way, he meets a stripper who steals all his money and leaves him for dead. Not knowing where he is, he thinks he heads north, and soon reaches Tijuana, Mexico. From there he meets a mad scientist who flings this man into the future, where he tries to catch a plastic bag caught in an updraft. The only things in his way are a homicidal pizza boy, a homeless person, the Army of the planet mars, a 2001 Ford explorer, a backed-up toilet, and the fact that he is only wearing one shoe.(explosion noise) Vin Diesel is THE MIDDLE-AGED MAN WHO LIVES WITH HIS PARENTS!

From: The Foreign Minister | Posted: 4/6/2003 12:30:48 PM
Utilizing the most brilliant techniques of photography, we see fourty years elapse over two hours, in a story of a woman, standing against a wall. The movie is called:

"LOOK AT THOSE THINGS SAG"

From: JFP1986 | Posted: 4/6/2003 2:14:44 PM
Cool World 2

Godzilla vs. Barney and Friends

Butt-Ugly Martains: The Movie

Snow White 2

Manos 2

Monster a Go-Go 2: As Lame as the First

Creeping Terror 2

Catalina Caper 2

Gamera vs. Zeus

From: Timmy Big Hands | Posted: 4/6/2003 4:23:24 PM
I have a bad movie idea:

You see, there are these aliens that experience searing mortal wounds if they get water on them, and they're invading earth. Why would they do that, do you ask? There's no logical explanation because it's a bad nonsensical movie we're talking about. Anyway, before staging the full-scale assault the aliens kill dogs and stand around on top of barns just for the hell of it. Don't waste your time trying to figure it out. So these aliens invade earth, but they refuse to actually use weapons when they do it. In the most shocking revelation in film history, the aliens are unsuccessful in their unarmed assault of a planet whose most abundant resource kills them. I think they could call the movie "The aliens that do stuff for no explainable reason."

From: SonicRaptor | Posted: 4/6/2003 4:40:08 PM
Guys, we better be real careful what we post here: We may be giving Hollywood executives some ideas.

From: ryan bristow | Posted: 4/6/2003 9:34:18 PM
Friends: The Movie

From: Youngblood65 | Posted: 4/6/2003 9:52:16 PM
porn meets wild thornberries

From: joeypants | Posted: 4/6/2003 11:44:25 PM
Message Boards: The Movie

From: I am spam | Posted: 4/7/2003 12:48:31 PM
Godzilla vs. Barney and Friends
Hey... I wrote that for my english class.

From: Capt Winky | Posted: 4/7/2003 1:53:02 PM
How about something origional, a black cop meets up with a white/asian ninja...or something to that extent.

Wait....wait...already made that piece of ****

From: use the force | Posted: 4/7/2003 10:16:25 PM
Super Mario Bros vs. Alien

or how about an asian cop meets a karate fighting black cop

From: joeypants | Posted: 4/8/2003 8:45:31 PM
DeathPong: The Ultimate Battle

From: joeypants | Posted: 4/8/2003 8:47:36 PM
"Fattie Runs For President", starring Anna Nicole Smith.

From: Duo Maxwell 64 | Posted: 4/15/2003 9:12:02 PM
Hamlet 2.

Pokemon 6: Pokemon Hunting Season

Jason XXX: A Erotic Teenslasher

Nightmare On Elm Street 12: Freddy Vs. Insomina

From: FedUpNitpicker | Posted: 4/16/2003 12:04:37 AM
Get Real, Rita!

A mega-famous pop star, Rita, played by Angelina Jolie, is young, beautiful, and rich. However, deep down inside, the glamour and fame bores her. One fateful day, her toilet gets clogged up and all the local plumbers are busy. So Rita decides to plunge the toilet herself. Despite getting her hands covered in fecal matter, once the toilet works again, Rita has a sudden spiritual awakening! THIS is what she was meant to do!!! Rita suddenly feels worthy, as if she finally knows what it means to be a working girl. She decides to leave her pop star life behind, and become a plumber.
---
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." - Britney Spears

From: ryan bristow | Posted: 4/16/2003 12:17:39 AM
American Idol: The Movie

From: chunter | Posted: 4/16/2003 12:29:48 AM
When Jeepers Creepers meet Blair Witch Project

Pong - The Movie

From: the last starfighter | Posted: 4/16/2003 2:20:12 AM
ryan bristow, too late. That movie will be released soon...

From: ryan bristow | Posted: 4/16/2003 2:23:26 AM
I know. But seriously, who had the right mind to make the film about Kelly and Justin's I-don't-know-want-to-know antics of fame?

From: DarkBlade22 | Posted: 4/16/2003 3:31:01 AM
An action-buddy movie, starring Carrot Top and Steven Segal.

(Carrot Top attacks bad guy with pay phone)
Carrot Top: I guess he needed to make a collect call.
Steven Segal: ...I'm going skinny-dipping.