What follows are actual messages left in the feedback sections of various eBay auctions. While there are plenty of eBay Wiseguys, these are all by the same man, over a period of years.

Positive feedback rating HOLY ****! the toy locomitive you sold me was in fact a REAL locomotive! Seller: trueion ( 31324) Oct-02-07 05:37
 
  • Follow-up by tryork5ifp (Oct-02-07 05:40):shipping alone was $837,000.00, plus i have nowhere to put the damned thing!
  -- (#260163831026) --
Positive feedback rating these deer antlers will make an amusing Xmas outfit for my bijon!!! Seller: steve-o-meter ( 848) Sep-22-07 08:00
 
  • Follow-up by tryork5ifp (Sep-22-07 08:02):oh...do you suggest wood or sheet metal screws when attaching it to his head?
Positive feedback rating the leg braces work GREAT—I wear then to work so no one has the guts to fire me Seller: g-manncollect ( 4849) Sep-18-07 05:43
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Positive feedback rating HOLY**** item literally materialized before me the moment I hit the paypal button Seller: crzy65 ( 5537) Sep-18-07 05:16
  -- (#140156927180) --
Positive feedback rating NICE tombstone—will kill myself after work so I can start using it immediatey.A+ Seller: sun77beam ( 276) Sep-14-07 12:44
  -- (#150147795070) --
Positive feedback rating LOVE the bar of soap—being from France, I may need to buy another in a year or 2 Seller: dragonsfairy2* ( 569) Sep-14-07 12:06
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Positive feedback rating reading this book, it was like Almustafa was there with me, in the room . . . Seller: hardway69 ( 110) Sep-12-07 18:09
 
  • Follow-up by tryork5ifp (Sep-12-07 18:16):his words, message, & spirit were perfect—all except for his BO, that was AWFUL!
Positive feedback rating invisible dog fence has ALSO cured my toddler of his wanderlust with just1 shock Seller: cohibastore ( 9552) Sep-11-07 07:04
  -- (#330162615588) --
Positive feedback rating Box you sent was FULL of BEES—little Timmy spent his 8th B-day in the hospital! Seller: thepipegallery ( 728) Sep-04-07 11:07
  -- (#270159150096) --
Positive feedback rating Dispite the seller's blatant violation of child exploitaion & labor laws—A+++ Seller: humidorauctions ( 13985) Aug-21-07 08:56
  -- (#220139761571) --
Positive feedback rating SOLD me her PERSONALITY. It was borderline—NOT narcissistic as DESCRIBED!!!! Seller: ikwea1 ( 298) Aug-16-07 14:11
  -- (#260147433351) --
Positive feedback rating Seller sent package via JEHOVA'S WITNESS. Jerk Wouldn't leave till I converted! Seller: jeannie-lee ( 466) Jul-31-07 12:04
  -- (#180142360732) --
Positive feedback rating FYI: When using Cheetos as packing—in the future—I DO prefer the crunchy kind. Seller: arizona-treasure-hunter ( 767) Jul-13-07 09:26
  -- (#190128881820) --
Positive feedback rating Found a driedout gerbil carcass at the bottom of the box—AND it had been shaved. Seller: stevenpen_pipes ( 1123) Jul-11-07 13:11
 
  • Reply by stevenpen_pipes (Jul-14-07 11:43):Customer states he wrote 'joke' feedback BEFORE he Received the Pipe from me.
    • Follow-up by tryork5ifp (Jul-16-07 10:05):I don't thing that poor gerbil saw the humor at all.
  -- (#200124543298) --
Positive feedback rating THANK YOU!after 27years—this ashtray will inspire me to finally take up smoking Seller: tgovml ( 303) Jul-06-07 12:50
  -- (#190127447441) --
Positive feedback rating that song—"You Say Tomato and I Say Tomato" make no sense when you write it down Seller: spot-onkelley ( 712) Jun-26-07 10:44
  -- (#110138248103) --
Positive feedback rating CAN-O-SNAKES prank is tooFUNNY—though I DON'T recommend its use in Nursing Homes Seller: aslosprachbeethoven ( 571) Jun-04-07 08:15
  -- (#250119520116) --
Positive feedback rating JUST AMAZED—of all the other of crap I own, this one ranks RIGHT UP THERE Seller: zappabud ( 761) May-29-07 09:35
  -- (#250118281097) --
Positive feedback rating the box you sent was stamped 'BELONGS TO PANDORA'—I'm afraid to open it. Seller: ebestdeal4u ( 327321) May-29-07 08:11
  -- (#140122715589) --
Positive feedback rating A+ADVICE—my 8YrOld gave up his MySpace password after only 3min of waterboarding Seller: thegentlesmoker ( 166) May-29-07 07:59
  -- (#200112012837) --
Positive feedback rating Package was sent via DOG SLED which, considering I live in GA, is no SMALL feat. Seller: earthtodad007 ( 122) May-17-07 08:01
  -- (#230127906894) --
Positive feedback rating HEATED toilet is great on those chilly mornings AND it makes a DELICIOUS fondue. Seller: fory63 ( 383) May-16-07 13:04
  -- (#160111641377) --
Positive feedback rating WOW—unreleased copy of OJ Simpson's—"If I Did It", AND the sequel—"So What?" Seller: nodular53 ( 619) May-01-07 14:41
  -- (#320100158977) --
Positive feedback rating memory pills are working great!—just watch: 30306! THAT'S my zipcode!..no...wait Seller: iwilson4897 ( 93) May-01-07 08:19
  -- (#270110838276) --
Positive feedback rating A+seller, but eyeballs are WAY TOO BIG for his sockets, frightens small children Seller: hillshasit2006 ( 825) Apr-27-07 19:14
 
  • Follow-up by tryork5ifp (Apr-28-07 07:55):didn't mean to insult,I meant BIG eyeballs in a nice, Louis Armstrong kinda way.
  -- (#320104136967) --
Positive feedback rating Ventriloquist dummyWON'T SHUT UP & has KILLED all my other ventriloquist dummies Seller: fair9 ( 392) Apr-27-07 06:40
  -- (#220104052312) --
Positive feedback rating sold me her SOUL, I opened the box and IT WAS DAMAGED. Plus it smelled funny Seller: fory63 ( 383) Apr-26-07 06:12
  -- (#160106361971) --
Positive feedback rating Tuna arrived safe & lives in my pool. I feed it tuna fish sandwiches for irony. Seller: ncglassandcollectibles ( 2674) Apr-25-07 08:45
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Positive feedback rating Good News! the puppy arrived ALIVE this time! Guess 9 times a charm!A++ Seller: foggywoggy ( 2218) Apr-19-07 08:58
  -- (#290065005749) --
Positive feedback rating The tent you sold me was a CIRCUS TENT, had to buy 349 campsites to put it up!! Seller: jj214 ( 1029) Apr-17-07 06:36
  -- (#200096795735) --
Positive feedback rating The Hypnosis book WORKED GREAT! My 8 year-old now talks like WC Fields!!!! Seller: ebizu ( 1912) Apr-16-07 14:54
  -- (#120102100305) --
Positive feedback rating The Bag of Blood worked as promised. Hung it on the porch; presto! NO MOSQUITOS Seller: thewoodenroses ( 457) Apr-16-07 14:47
 
  • Follow-up by tryork5ifp (Apr-27-07 12:48):Hey,you stole this idea from JACK HANDEY!still,it works like a charm-send 9 more
    • Reply by thewoodenroses (Jun-17-07 10:37):I have no idea what this means, I think you meant this feedback for someone else
  -- (#250092112258) --
Positive feedback rating Taliban Training Manuals arrived dicreetly packed and labelled.PLSsend 9000 more Seller: catharine911 ( 32) Apr-16-07 05:11
  -- (#250096304316) --
Positive feedback rating CONFUSED— the ouija board says I should poison my wife, the 8-BALL says to wait. Seller: troopfpc ( 4765) Sep-19-06 07:49
  -- (#110023123757) --
Positive feedback rating COOL! the autographed Saddam Hussein wood-chipper arrived safely! Seller: river-city-books ( 15189) Sep-15-06 06:40
  -- (#8378337599) --
Positive feedback rating A+urban outdoorsman recipe book,the pigeon foi gras & cat souffle-DEEEELICIOUS! Seller: 16king ( 1438) Sep-06-06 14:42
  -- (#150005722417) --
Positive feedback rating Simply the GREATEST OBJECT I've ever recieved. Will burn all my other possesions Seller: brendylea56 ( 1469) Jul-12-06 08:23
  -- (#200003501271) --
Positive feedback rating A+I always wanted a gravity enhancer, I now tip the scales at a whopping 634lbs! Seller: www.coker.com ( 469) Jun-28-06 12:29
  -- (#7244451440) --
Positive feedback rating FOOL! The FINAL PIECES are now in place, soon the WORLD will be mine, MINE! Seller: hiddendoorauctions ( 211) Apr-24-06 12:18
  -- (#6265693563) --
Positive feedback rating What the..? What THE HELL is this stuff? How the HELL do you get it off? HELP!! Seller: showfund ( 412) Mar-08-06 09:52
  -- (#7223034505) --
Positive feedback rating When I read FLEA POWDER I assumed ANTI-flea. My Bijon scratched herself silly!! Seller: matchcovers ( 12283) Mar-06-06 06:46
  -- (#7217581521) --
Positive feedback rating YES, I LIKE IT!!! Now stop calling me every 5 min and asking if I still like it! Seller: matchcovers ( 12283) Mar-06-06 06:38
  -- (#7196455463) --
Positive feedback rating Opened the box; the thing lept out and attached itself to my Bijon's head. HELP! Seller: matchcovers ( 12283) Mar-06-06 06:28
  -- (#7217075795) --
Positive feedback rating Taser worked even better that expected! My 3-year-old now eats brussel sprouts! Seller: pinchapennysales ( 5678) Mar-06-06 06:20
  -- (#6257362889) --
Positive feedback rating DEEEEELICIOUS GELATO!! who ever knew that "pencil" could be a flavor. A+ Seller: icedteeth ( 246)
No longer a registered user
Nov-18-05 11:29
  -- (#8351517661) --
Positive feedback rating I've buried her up to her neck and started the lawnmower. Will send video ASAP! Seller: evercharming ( 26782) Jul-19-05 09:47
 
  • Follow-up by tryork5ifp (Jul-19-05 14:27):VIDEO on the WAY! HILARIOUS! PS-how do you get blood splatter out of clothing?
  -- (#5014276736) --
Positive feedback rating YES,The pet seal is very cute, lives in my fridge, but keeps eating all velveeta Seller: xinar ( 60102) Jul-18-05 11:40
  -- (#5013571710) --
Positive feedback rating jcb lives just next door but insists we go though this eBay formality.. Sheesh! Seller: jcb721 ( 124) Jul-06-05 14:20
 
  • Follow-up by tryork5ifp (Jul-19-05 14:29):DEVELOPMENT: I'm pretty sure JCB's been peaking in my windows at night.
  -- (#5008317239) --
Positive feedback rating A+ still . . . . the kidney doesn't seem to be working yet. Seller: wildflower282 ( 3925) Jul-06-05 12:04
  -- (#5008586410) --
Positive feedback rating Whew! the Biopsy came back negative. Who ever knew you could do this on ebay. A+ Seller: m5984 ( 842) Jul-06-05 11:54
  -- (#5006485808) --
Positive feedback rating YOU ARE MY FAVORITE CORN. LARGE SUPTUOUS EARS. FAT KERNELS. AND YOU POP WELL. Seller: silverqueen10 ( 6451) Jun-28-05 14:59
  -- (#5007061031) --
Positive feedback rating Dave n Kath are GREAT(Although they've BOTH put on a shocking amount of weight) Seller: davekathynader ( 770) May-23-05 14:07
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Positive feedback rating A+ SELLER, the korean baby arrived thirsty but healthy thanks to the air holes. Seller: noveltystore ( 124)
No longer a registered user
Nov-15-04 10:14
  -- (#7113912798) --
Positive feedback rating A+++ OUTSTANDING! (FYI: there was pork in the fried rice you ate last week) Seller: mir-el ( 2416) Oct-28-04 09:25
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Positive feedback rating GREAT eBayer. Save for the occasional accident, is well house-broken. A+++++++ Seller: myoasisjewels ( 10070) Oct-28-04 09:22
  -- (#7107513532) --
Positive feedback rating HOLY CRAP!as promised, weapons-grade uranium,discreetly packaged and labeled! A+ Seller: kennethroyantiques ( 4546) Oct-06-04 09:49
  -- (#3930079146) --
Positive feedback rating If only the whole world were made of rubber, it would be a softer,sweatier place Seller: rubbernation ( 8817) Feb-23-04 08:06
  -- (#3660496316) --
Positive feedback rating Great seller but WARNING:you'll try in vain to convince him that he's NOT elvis. Seller: cool-a-go-go ( 6647)
No longer a registered user
Nov-21-03 06:43
  -- (#2203739003) --
Positive feedback rating AMAZING!Not only has my hairline stopped receding, it's now actually proceeding. Seller: offworldmarketing ( 12569) Nov-21-03 06:43
  -- (#2204253246) --
Positive feedback rating cleej is GREAT! but take it from me; if you ask for her picture, you'll be sorry Seller: cinlee59 ( 1308) Nov-03-03 13:39
  -- (#2199380148) --
Positive feedback rating They actuallyPUT THEMSELVES IN THE BOX to insure delivery;boy was i surprised!A+ Seller: uniquepeople ( 385) Oct-08-03 07:49
  -- (#3244337177) --
Positive feedback rating Holy ****!! This has got to be the BIGGEST preserved goiter I've ever seen! A+++ Seller: mrtradz43 ( 590)
No longer a registered user
Oct-08-03 07:38
  -- (#3629332704) --
Positive feedback rating GREAT ITEM! But was too big to hide,wife took one look at it - wants a divorce! Seller: davidbraylyan ( 191) Oct-01-03 06:05
  -- (#3628556432) --
Positive feedback rating an A+SELLER! But when I opened the PACKAGE my apt. started to smell like cat "P" Seller: vanitygal ( 982) Sep-03-03 08:34
 
  • Reply by vanitygal (Sep-03-03 10:46):You left this feedback before I mailed your package. There's been a mix-up!
  -- (#3623093174) --
Positive feedback rating Fast shipping. Polite responses. Has all his teeth. Doesn't beat his wife. A++++ Seller: bigbusybeeart ( 6256) Sep-03-03 08:34
 
  • Reply by bigbusybeeart (Sep-03-03 23:46):Can't wait to show this to my wife :-)!
  -- (#3237773983) --

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