| A COSMIC CHRISTMAS (cbc, 1977) | |
Why was it such a misfit? Once again I might be stretching the defintion of "misfit" here, but only in certain locations. A Cosmic Christmas was first broadcast in Canada in 1977. In America, it aired in syndication and quickly disappeared, but in its native country, it enjoyed repeat showings and put its animation studio on the map. This was the very first project undertaken by Nelvana, a small operation at the time. George Lucas saw the special and hired Nelvana to create the animated portion of the Star Wars Holiday Special. Every step from there was a step up, and they would be a Canuck cartoon powerhouse by the 1990s. So technically, A Cosmic Christmas was a success. It is rarely ever shown today, however, in any country.
This is Peter, the main character of A Cosmic Christmas. He's wandering down the bustling Canadian streets, happy as a clam, though right now he's the outlier. Everyone else looks either stressed, angry or flustered. There's a man grabbing a lion stuffed animal who looks like a lion himself. There's a counter clerk frantically trying to wrap up a woman's gift in a box, but he's managed to tie his own hands up in knots.
Even if I hadn't known this was Nelvana beforehand, I would have realized it quickly. They had a very distinctive style in the early years. All these blobby, toothy people with exaggerated features, like something out of a Beano issue, were very typical for them. One thing the characters don't have, though, are square eyeballs, which would be a Nelvana trademark eventually. Peter runs into a depressed-sounding bell-ringer whom he seems to know. "How's it going, Santa Joe?" he asks. "Nowt sho fine, Peter," he slushes out. "Well, Merry Christmas anyway," Peter says and moves on. The real reason Peter's here on the street is to meet up with Lucy, his best friend...who happens to be a Canadian goose. (Note that this is the only friendly Canadian goose I've ever seen.) But he also runs into some other folks he'd rather not have...
It's the village street toughs! Most of them don't have names, but the leader with the switchblade is called Marvin. They try to literally get Peter's goose, and beat it up, but they just wind up beating themselves up. It's around this time that Peter spots a large light moving across the sky. Convinced he's witnessed a UFO, he yells to anyone who he thinks will listen. It isn't the police chief, who just yawns and tells him to go home. It isn't the street toughs, who immediately mock him. "What else did you see, Peter, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? HA HA HA!"
But Peter is confident he just had a close encounter, and ventures off into the woods with Lucy to get a closer encounter. You already knew from the title of this thing that he would be 100 percent right. Pete witnesses a bright light slowly descend into a field, turn itself into a black orb, and then create an opening from which three tall, robed figures emerge.
Since these aliens greatly resemble the Three Wise Men, the allegory they're going for is obvious. They do have one extra member who wasn't part of the Nativity: a floating yellow robot blob thing with big red eyes, that can morph itself into any shape. It doesn't have a name but it freaks Lucy Goose out. "TWO THOUSAND YEARS
AGO EARTH TIME, IN THE SEVENTY-NINTH MERVENT, A
TRANSIATORY CELESTIAL PHENOMENON OF THE MORBURNIAN
CLASS--" "Oh, you mean the
Star of Bethlehem!" Peter informs them. "That
was meant to signify the birth of Jesus Christ! He was a
very important person, and we started a holiday on the
date of his birth. It's called Christmas!" "We celebrate it
every year with love, peace and caring for others. And
that's CHRISTMAS!"
Back in town, it seems
like Peter wasn't the only one who saw the UFO. A man on
the street stops the store owner as he's closing up and
says "Didja hear about the alien visitors?" "Sounds like a
publicity stunt to me," he rages. "I'll bet
it's that new store trying to steal my business! Some
people will do ANYTHING!" He storms off, still
looking like a green Muppet.
Pete brings the aliens to the office of both the mayor and the police chief (it's a small town, I guess). The chief is taking calls about flying saucers and aliens and scoffing at all of them. "You got little green men in your pantry? Are you sure it isn't bats in your belfry?" He just hangs up on all of them and occasionally slathers his dome with hair growth cream. The mayor, by contrast,
believes every report -- and is panicking. He's quite the
coward, and nervously asks the chief how many men he's
got on duty. "Just yours truly...I gave the other
boys the night off. It's Christmas, ya know." "Good idea. If they
come here;..." "Is this....peace, Peter?" the aliens ask. Again he has no response. This isn't working out so far.
Pete peeks in at the hideout of the street toughs. It's unlikely anything he sees here is going to make a good impression; come on now. "So what're ya
having for Christmas dinner?" "WHAT did you
say?" Marvin suddenly rises. He brings out his
switchblade, flicks open the comb and grooms himself
while smiling wickedly. He has an idea now. Peter's pet gulps loudly.
Despite Peter's insistence that "he didn't mean it" (I'm pretty sure he did), the goose now fears being cooked. The yellow alien blob thing makes an attempt to cheer Lucy up by turning into all sorts of shapes and dancing, in a sequence that eats up a full minute. The aliens ask,
"Have we come to Christmas yet?"
It's Peter's own house, where his mother is setting up a dinky little plastic tree, his father is cleaning his pipe and her grandmother is putting the finishing touches on a decorative handmade angel. That's when Peter enters with three special surprise guests. This is the first time he's ever shown the aliens to anyone -- the other times, he's hid in corners or behind doors, observing what other people are doing in secret. Well, no more -- he's got aliens and his fam is gonna know about it. In fact, it's Lucy he told to stay outside, which feels backwards. And it has the result you'd expect....there are a pair of evil eyes watching her from behind the backyard woodpile. Just a moment ago, they
were talking about what "nonsense" those flying
saucer rumors were. Now they're frozen with gaping mouths
as the three figures slowly glide into the room.
Grandma seems to be the only one unfazed. "My, men from Mars! Come in, come in! Sit by the fireplace and warm yourselves." She tells them all about what Christmas was like when she was growing up. "My father would search for a tree in the forest. My goodness, it would touch the ceiling! We made our own decorations in those days...stringing popcorn, tying red bows on the limbs of the tree...." As Grandma reminisces, the shortest alien starts glowing and turning red. Sparkles start flying from his mane and create illusions around the room, based on what Grandma is telling them. A tree materializes in the corner. Popcorn garland and living gingerbread men march through the air and wrap around it. When Grandma describes her Christmas dinner, the entire table with all the trimmings appears in the middle of the room. It's all very captivating, so much so that they almost don't notice what's going on just outside...
Yup, Marvin is kidnapping Lucy. All the illusions disappear as everyone is shocked out of the trance. Peter runs outside, but he's too late. Marvin races through the snow on his bicycle, snickering and sneering, with Lucy in his tight grip. Meanwhile, elsewhere,
the townspeople have discovered the location of the
spaceship. The police chief shouts through his bulhorn
for anyone inside the craft to come out immediately, but
there's no answer. While they're trying to
figure this out, Marvin zooms right past them, followed
by Peter yelling "STOP! THIEF!"
Marvin hears the crowd coming after him and knows he'll be in deep trouble if he doesn't stop pedaling. That concern causes him to not watch where he's going, and he wipes out into the frozen pond. Lucy escapes, as she can fly, but Marvin isn't quite as gifted. He can't pull himself out and will freeze to death if he isn't rescued immediately. Peter attempts this, but the ice starts cracking further and he falls in as well. The chief and his crew catch up at that point, and decide to form a human chain to reach the kids and pull them out. They're not long enough, however....
"YOU THERE!" the chief shouts, pointing at the aliens, who he can't tell are aliens from that distance. "COME ON, HELP!" They debate what to do. "He is calling
us....he said 'help.' What is 'help'?"
As far as I can tell,
Galaxy Central is not. The aliens link hands, complete
the chain and lift Peter and Marvin out of the water safe
and sound.
"HOW COULD YOU
THINK OF STEALING THAT BOY'S GOOSE -- AND ON CHRISTMAS
EVE??" "I do not
understand," says one of the aliens. "WHY did
he steal the goose?" "But why would
someone go hungry if it is Christmas?" asks another
alien.
"Marvin....would
you like to spend Christmas with us?" Peter asks
timidly. "No one, Marvin.
We'd like very much for you to share our Christmas,"
says Peter's mother. "Well," the
chief says in the direction of the aliens, "any more
questions?"
In fact not only is Marvin invited but so is everyone else. They all pool their Christmas feasts into one gigantic mass of gluttony. The police chief hangs his badge as the star on the tree. Santa Joe appears for the second and last time, slurring out "Merry Krishmush, kidsh" as he leans his head from a giant sandwich obscuring most of his body.
Peter's mother asks where her son and Marvin are -- they don't seem to currently be in the room. Someone says he just saw them standing outside. Pete's dad opens the front door to see the pair gawking up at the sky. The aliens are leaving for their home planet, but left behind a spectacular angel-shaped light show. Everyone gathers outside, oohing and ahhing at the display, as the camera pans into the distance and fades to black. Why didn't it fit in?
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