| MR. WILLOWBY'S CHRISTMAS TREE (cbs, 1995) | |
Why was it such a misfit? This is a remake of a much earlier, much shorter review (you can find the original here). Be warned that of all the reviews done in the first couple of years, this one's the least accurate, written entirely from memory and with no screenshots. It even gets the title wrong. I'm not going to erase any old work, but trust me and stick around here. In December of 1995, Mr. Willowby's Christmas Tree aired on CBS for the first and only time. Having not seen it since then, there's a lot I missed the first time around when I had no available copy. But I've got one now!
Getting The Wish That Changed Christmas vibes here as the first thing the special does is show us the screen to the left while a voiceover says "And now...a Nabisco Family Classic!" As in...the cracker company? What's the maker of Ritz doing making Christmas specials, or any form of entertainment beyond the blurb on the back of a box? And how's it a "classic" if this is the very first time it aired? What are we in for this time?
The good news is...contrary to McDonalds' efforts, it's not Nabisco that tried to MAKE the thing. It was in the more experienced, more competent hands of Jim Henson Productions. And it's got some big-name actors in it like Robert Downey Jr,, Stockard Channing, Leslie Nielsen and, of course, Kermit the Frog, who serves as host. "Hi-ho, Kermit the Frog here. We must hurry or we'll be late for Mr. Willowby's holiday party. Who's Mr. Willowby? Good question." It's not a joke, he just calls that a good question and answers it. He says Willowby lives in the mansion just beyond the trees, and gestures toward it.
Downey Jr, plays the role of Willowby. On the scale of Eccentric Milionaires from Gomez Addams to Willy Wonka, Mr. Willowby hits somewhere in the middle. He's not bouncing all over the place, but he doesn't come across as sane either. Every sentence he says and sings is embellished by make-believe verbiage. "I can hardly wait to see such a tremendiosity...where oh where can my perfect arboritum arborite be?" He's talking about the Christmas Tree he's having his "guys" deliver to him. They're out looking for one. Meanwhile Wilowby continues to sing about the tree not being there and how badly he wishes it was there; he swings his arm around a lot and his butler, Baxter, has to keep moving a priceless vase out of his way. When he finally finishes his performance Baxter breathes a sigh of relief, until Willowby suddenly calls "BAXTER! WHERE'S MY TREE?" and he's startled into droppng the thing.
Meanwhile, within the mansion walls, a family of mice are also planning to acquire a Christmas tree, though they aren't in a position to pay people to do it like Willowby is. They don't mind though. It's a family tradition, and Papa Mouse has the perfect shiny axe, which he has always used, ready to go. He and the kids head out to search for a good one. "Of course, it's not so easy finding the perfect tree," Kermit narrates. "In fact sometimes it can seem downright impossible, as our mouse family is about to discover." The kids are in the middle of the woods, scared at the prospect of meeting bears or owls. Papa Mouse reassures them he's been on this same tree-hunting expedition since he was their age, "and my father before him, and his father before him. I know what I'm doing! Nothing bad has ever happened, and nothing will this time."
The kids calm down a bit after hearing this, and their focus shifts to spying the perfect noble fir. The brother mouse points to one, and the sister rejects it, insisting it's too small. She points to a different tree, and the brother just laughs. "Now HOW would we tiny mice be expected to carry home a giant tree like that one? HA HA HA!" At that point he notices their father isn't paying attention to anything they're saying, but instead is bespelled by the sight of one particular pine. This tree is even bigger
than the one the mouse sister wanted...far bigger. What's
the old man thinking? It's Willowby's hired lumberjacks, and they fancy that very tree as well! Papa Mouse would point out he called first dibs, but...he and the kids aren't very noticable. There's no time to escape either. All they can do is cling to the tree for dear life as the lumberjacks saw it down, then carry it horizontally back to Willowby's mansion.
Willowby and Baxter are
still carrying on the same conversation when they're
interrupted by the lumberjacks bursting through the door,
the tree instantly poking through and taking up space.
Willowby immediately
thinks of the perfect solution: "You'll carve a hole
in the roof, Baxter." Baxter asks if he should haul the top to the trash now, but Willowby is feeling generous. "You shall donate it to Miss Adelaide! Poor Miss Adelaide...so far away from her family and friends in Sweden! She never comes down for Christmas anymore....because she's so alone...." He gets out his hanky and weeps into it.
And so Baxter sets out on the journey to bring the tree to Miss Adelaide....which doesn't take long because Adelaide literally lives upstairs, as Willowby's maid. You know, she wouldn't be alone if Willowby or Baxter...well, never mind, I guess that's the joke here. When Baxter enters Miss Adelaide's room, she doesn't seem to be that sad. Her room is full of lit candles, and Baxter inquires about that. She explains where she came from, Swedes observe St. Lucia's Day on December 13, in honor of the martyr who wore a wreath of lit candles to light her path as she fed her fellow prisoners. Now they do the same, and Adelaide fits Baxter in the appropriate attire: a white robe and nine candles on his head. Baxter draws the line at Adelaide's lit match. "Here in OUR family we also have a BAXTER family tradition: we NEVER put a lit candle in our hair!" "People sure are weird," one of the mice states.
He says this BEFORE Adelaide takes one of the branches off the tree and pins it on Baxter's suit as a corsage, singing about how it's "a symbol of the perfect tree" that "holds the spirit of the season which grows in every heart. A gift to you from me, the perfect tree." As far as I know this act isn't based on any custom in Sweden. Also Channing loses her faux Swedish accent whenever she sings. Baxter asks where he can put the tree and she points to the corner. The mice have done a good job staying discreet up to now, but this time, one of them falls off the tree when it's placed in the corner and the humans see him. "A mouse? In
Willlowby Manor? I cannot approve of this; we must
dispose of this rodent immediately!" Baxter
declares.
Yep, the tree is too tall for the corner and the part the mice are clinging to must be cut off. And just like before, Papa Mouse is about to sing his song when he gets interrupted by the sawing. This is going to be the running theme. But THIS part is different: Adelaide dumps the tree trimming straight out her window, into the trash can below. They find this an unpleasant experience, but Papa Mouse insists that "we are right where we're supposed to be." I guess mice and trash go well together, but they're only safe for about three seconds before the giant head of a bear rises above them.
As Kermit reappears to explain, the bear has come to dig the tree out of the waste so he can use it for HIS home. "You see, tonight is the night of the traditional Midwinter Honey Pot Waltz, and it just isn't the perfect Midwinter Honey Pot Waltz without the perfect tree." Papa Mouse's kids are pretty distressed right now, but he points out "hey, at least it isn't owls." When the bear returns
home, what appears to be his wife grizzles, "You've
done it! That's the PERFECT Honey Pot Tree for the Honey
Pot Waltz."
Oh, wait -- now they're passing the TREE around. And spinning in circles. You'd think this tree would look less attractive to these mice by the minute. But they're still climging on and Papa Mouse is still insistent it's "perfect" so they can't just pick another. As you might expect, the tree is too tall for the cave and must be trimmed. And the bears do this right at the moment Papa Mouse is about to cut it himself.
As they're lying in the
snow, still clinging to the branch, Papa Mouse makes the
obvious observation that "we've been having the
most...er, interesting adventure." They all scream. We briefly flash back to the mansion, where Willowby is calling for Baxter again, but he's nowhere to be seen within the dwelling itself. Willowby finds his manservant standing outside, holding Adelaide's tree fragment and looking puzzled. He's also dividing his gaze between that branch and the window where Adelaide can still be heard singing. Willowby knows a blossoming romance when he sees it. He quietly closes the door.
High in the treetops, the owls are holding their own holiday party in their ice cathedral, singing a chorus. Also they're the only animal species in this special that doesn't talk -- it's kind of a wordless "aaa aaa aaaaaaaaa" from a music keyboard setting. "Everyone" knows owls eat mice, but the special never states this -- they just have the mice afraid of the owls and never explain why. I was a kid for a long time before I learned what owls eat.
Their only hope is that an owl thinks the tree is too tall. That's exactly what happens, but this time Papa Mouse is too terrified to sing or wield his axe. They all crash-land in the snow, where Sis Mouse remarks the owls actually didn't seem that bad. Kinds friendly, really. Of course they were never spotted in there -- they could've been barf-pellets of fur and bones right now otherwise. Now, at last, Papa Mouse
has the free time to sing his chopping song and chop away
-- no wait, the tree is the perfect size now! Whoda
thought we'd get here? Besides everyone?
As the mice carry the
tree back toward their mouse hole, there's one last
sticky wicket -- Sis Mouse is caught by Baxter and picked
up by the tail. But the crush that was established a bit earlier works its magic now. Baxter hears Adelaide sing from the balcony and, after a couple breaths, thinks "well, it IS Christmas." He puts her back down and lets them escape.
Kermit appears once more to wrap things up: "Well! It's Christmas Eve and it looks like everyone has found the perfect tree. Come, join Mr. Willowby's party." There are a lot of waltzing couples now in the foyer. And the moment Willowby and especially Baxter has been waiting and hoping for has finally happened: Adelaide has left her room to join the party. As soon as she's at
ground level Baxter seizes the opportunity and leads her
in a waltz. "Mister Baxter, where did you learn to
dance like this?" she asks. "Madam, have you
ever been to Buenos Aires?" he replies.
The end scene is a montage of every group of characters we've met along the way, from the mice to the bears to the owls to Willowby himself, each basking in the glow of their Perfect Tree. There is an extra sequence after the last break, during the credits, where Kermit wishes everyone Happy Holidays and the mice are telling their mother the steps to procure a perfect tree. Of course the guidance they received tonight makes their advice a little skewed. "First you have to find a lot of lumberjacks, and then some bears, and then..." Why didn't it fit in?
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